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need to vent a bit
DH is driving me nuts. I get that his job is stressful and really busy right now, but I'm ready to shake him.
I'm off this week and have been using it to sh*t done around the house that I've asked him to take care of that he hasn't done. Problem #1.
I have been dealing with lawn people and tree people and contractors and am getting very frustrated because I don't have all the numbers or information I need because DH handled it last fall. Problem #2.
I can't get done the sh*t that needs to get done because when people ask me questions about programs that are in place, I don't have it. And when I just tried to get the paperwork from DH, he can't find it. Problem #3. And instead of offering a solution, he walked away.
::slow, deep breath::
Our lawn was DESTROYED in the hurricane last year. My beautifully landscaped and manicured lawn is a heap of crab grass, dandelions, and other weeds. I tried to tell him last fall that we needed to get things in place for the spring, he ignored me. I tried to tell him all winter, he ignored me. I'm done being ignored. So I am trying to do what I need to do to fix it and he's not exactly being helpful. I am tired of feeling like an idiot when I get on the phone with people and he's not exactly forthcoming with information.
Does anyone else's H get like this? Any suggestions?
RIP Dr. Irving Fishman - 10/1/19-7/25/10 - thank you for holding on for me.
You made my wedding day complete.
Re: need to vent a bit
Man, I felt the lack of communication with my DH today too. Only it was when we were trying get a chair through a doorway that was almost too narrow. ;-P
Not really any suggestions. Although, I do find when I need info from my DH and he's not giving it it's because he is actually unsure about what information I need. I try to be specific, and if that's not working, I take a step back and then talk to him about it when I am less frustrated.
my read shelf:
This happened when we moved in to our house two years ago. MIL and FIL bought a leather set from friends for us after we put down a contract but before closing. Without measuring the furniture or waiting to measure the doorways. It was supposed to be for his man cave. Yeah, after arguing with me that it would all not only fit in the basement, but that it would all fit down the stairs.....a hole landed up in the stair way (that they didn't patch for months- took my dad coming over to fix that one) and half the set's upstairs.
This has been H this week. I'm on spring break so I'm the one who had to get the kitchen empty for the new countertops. (I actually like the old blue laminate ones since they added color to the lower level. Everything else is neutral neutral neutral. His mom won free quartz counters and he had to have them.) I had asked him to move his and his dad's tools from the kitchen (we removed the old counters ourselves to save money) both on Monday and Tuesday nights so the workers wouldn't have to move them while working. Of course didn't happen and I was left throwing the tools into the garage. Now, last night DH and FIL were reinstalling the sink and garbage disposal and left all their tools out again even though they finished at 6. That gave DH four hours to play video games and be a bum in the basement and left apparently no time to put away the tools. He had the nerve to wake me up at 6 am to complain that he couldn't make his eggs for breakfast because the pantry items and pots were not back in the kitchen but still in the living room. Um no, you didn't bother to cook because your tools are still on the freaking stovetop and floor.
So because if I just clean it all up for him again, not only will he probably not even notice, but I know it would just happen the next time- I am not spending my last day off around the house putting the kitchen back together. Instead, I'm going to treat myself to lunch today, and then enjoy being a bum. Then tonight, we will work together to put the kitchen back together.
Also, in regards to the paperwork- in our house I have to be the one to file it (and then find it later) because otherwise A) It wouldn't have been saved in the first place because H would have just thrown it all away and
He has no concept of taking only the file he needs out. Instead he'd empty the whole drawer in a mess saying he can't find it, and then after I find it, he'd take just that paper and leave the mess. I think a lot of this is because MIL picked up after him his entire life. She was making his bed, doing his laundry, and picking up his room when he moved home after college. His brother's the same way. They'd make a mess and move on, knowing they wouldn't have to pick it up since when they came back to the room it was like a magical cleaning fairy had been there.
Sorry I don't have any advice OP, I just have to agree with this bolded part. MH is a SLOB and it drives me nuts. Now that DD is here I HAVE to at least partially pick up after him b/c DD is mobile now and gets into a lot of mischief, and I can't have her getting into the sh!t he doesn't have the "time" to clean up from the floor. One day she's really going to get into something important of his and I'm not going to stop her so that H learns his lesson - mean, I know, but he doesn't "get it". He is a fantastic daddy, but a HUGE slob and it makes me crazy!
Best part is that growing up, I was the slob with the messy room. My dorm room when I was an RA with a single was also the pits. However, DH kept his apartment he shared with a roommate impeccably clean. So here I thought, awesome! He'll definitely help keep our house looking nice... yeah, not so much.
He did help a lot tonight though. Ran a load of laundry and then helped me put the kitchen back together from our mini renovation.