So every month, I plan a social hour for my office after work. They are usually great times and I was very much looking forward to the one we had last night. A lot of my colleagues were there last night, including some I don't usually interact with.
I usually drink but last night I ordered water because I am on a strict budget. I owe 5,000 in taxes and just moved to my own place so yeah spending money on alcohol seems wasteful since I don't even like drinking that much.
Well we were all at this long table and an older guy who I don't talk to much or work with much asked from the other end of the table why I was only drinking water. I explained I was trying to save money. Well he then responds by saying
"C'mon tell the truth. Don't worry my wife drank when she was pregnant, you can have a glass of wine. How long have you been married, 2 years? It's about time for a baby..."
For some reason he kept asking how long I have been married so finally I responded: "I was married for four years..."
I don't know how he didn't know about the separation/divorce. It's been almost a year but evidently he didn't.
He immediately got embarrassed and kept apologizing the rest of the night in front of everyone, which only made it worse because it kept being brought up. It was so beyond awkward. I felt like crying b/c I was so uncomfortable since this happened in front of almost everyone I work with and respect.
I also am sad b/c a part of me thought I would be pregnant by now and happily married. My whole life story has changed and the reminders of my old life still hurt like hell. I also hate that this isn't the first time pregnancy has been talked about regarding me...why do people make jokes about this all the time? I hate it.
Do you guys have any awkward moments with someone who didn't know you were divorced???
Re: Please Share Your Awkward Stories So I Feel Better...:(
((hugs)) That guy was a jerk! I've learned to never-ever-ever comment on someone's pregnancy until they have told me for sure they are!
As for awkward, I've learned to just make jokes about it....ugh, everytime I needed to change my name, I got the "ohhhh, congrats on your marriage" and I'd have to explain that I was actually changing it because of my divorce. I'd usually throw in some snarky remark though. Some of my favorites were "it's okay, he got an older, more used version of me, with no chest, now" or "it's all good...I got the house, the kid and my sanity all to myself"
Sorry that happened! How awkward that he kept bringing it up over and over!
I ran into an ex boss in the hallway once. I knew that he always liked my ex so I said oh I have something I need to tell you. He says you're pregnant?! I said, nope, actually the opposite! He was all sorts of apologetic but it was just the two of us in the hallway not in front of a bunch of people!
Sorry that it happened! I know it is sucky and awkward!
After I got divorced I changed my name back to my maiden name. I sent an email out to the receptionist where I worked to let him know so when he updated the employee directory that month he would put the correct name down.
Well, he forwarded my email to EVERYONE in the entire company which was several thousand people. I can't tell you how many emails I got congratulating me on my recent marriage. Yeah.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
At my daughter's 5th b-day party one her classmates' mom turned to me and said 'when are you due? You are expecting, right?'. I said no, I'm a single mom, this shop is closed!
Awkward and way to make me feel like a whale -thanks!
DD2 11.17.08
guess I am having a hard time understanding why after the first comment you didn't just simply say "I am not married, nor am I pregnant, but thanks for asking"
why give him the opportunity to ask more than once?
I had one...but it doesn't compare to yours. This guy is an unprofessional azz. He NEVER should have even asked the pregnancy question to begin with.
When I got divorced, I went back to my maiden name. I sent out an email saying that my name was changing to all of the people I worked with. I didn't explain why my name was changing, just said it was changing. A guy that I didn't know well sent me back an email congratulating me on my marriage...I had to respond back saying that no, it was actually the opposite.
Uncomfortable.
I had a guy a church that ALWAYS asked me where my husband was for months after I left him. We weren't divorced yet so I would just say "He wasn't able to make it this Sunday." Finally, after the divorce I told his wife, who knew about the divorce, to tell him to stop asking! He came to me later and apologized and luckily we never spoke of it again.
Everytime he asked was horrible for me, but Im pretty sure he was more embarrassed in the long run than I was.
Oh I was responding the whole time but he couldn't hear me (we were literally at opposite ends of the table). I said a few times I was not pregnant, etc. He just wouldn't believe me about the pregnancy so he kept asking that question. Once he started asking about the marriage, I did stumble on how to best respond and then he couldn't hear me so he kept asking. Finally I had to shout that response.
Thanks everyone for the kind words and sharing other stories. Nice to know I am not alone in awkward moments.
Well I'm glad he feels appropriately assholish! What an idiot. I'm sure he thought he was being funny about the pregnancy thing, but that's why you don't do stuff like that.
OMG - I got my first "When are you due???" from my kids DC teacher last week. Talk about Ouch! I prefer to think of it as DC drumming up more business than me being a fat heifer, lol.
There is no death. Only a change of worlds
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I ran into an old friend this weekend. I have not seen him in close to 2 years. He asked how I was and where XH was. I told him "Don't know. Don't care. We are in the middle of a divorce actually." He said he was sorry that I was going through that. My response:"I'm not. I'm better off without him." My friend piped in with "Yea. She is enjoying the single life." We had a good laugh with it.