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Could this be a start to getting out there?
Due to my situation (single mom, little time, haven't really dated in years, not really a local social circle) I don't have a lot of local people and I am not ready or not into the online dating thing.....dating or even finding a date has been difficult. I dated a guy who was a friend for a bit but that just ended up in disappointment and the loss of a life-long friend.
Well a guy from work (a very large company) started flirting or so it seemed with me, it turned into Facebook friends, which turned into texting over the past couple weeks. He admitted I was cute, etc and I the same and that we should hang out. Today I got the "not sure if I am ready for a relationship" line with the word "friend" attached...and we haven't even hung out! So boo, but I am glad he was honest with me now at least. He still wants to chat and hang out as do I, but as friends (not a big guy friend past here) - and I can get over the little crush thing.
WWYD - just look at it as making a new friend that could lead to other new friends and possibly more dating possibilities? I am thinking yes, but curious as to what other singles would do.
Re: Could this be a start to getting out there?
I guess that you have to be honest with yourself as to what you want. Personally, I would be concerned that he is just looking for a FWB which will NOT lead you to further friendships and dating opportunities.
However, if you think that you can just be friends with him and you are looking to expand your social circle, why not?
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
In your situation I think I would focus on joining groups with other people my age and making friends first, then work on dating. Hopefully meeting people with your interests will lead to meeting guys with your interests but it sounds like you need to branch out from people you already know.
This dude thinks your hot, which is a great ego boost, but I wouldn't waste too much time on him as he seems to have some kind of emotional hang up. Start with people who are emotionally available.
Eh, I don't think because a guy isn't emotionally available for a relationship doesn't mean that he can't be emotionally available as a friend. But maybe I am naive.
However, like I said in my PP, I would not engage in a FWB relationship with him!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
You're right. But I don't think this guy wants to be just friends. I think he's looking for a FWB.
If he truly wants to be just friends and you're on board with that too, then by all means, go for it.
That is my thought too, but I am trying to give him the benefit of the doubt!
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Have you polled every man in the world to come to this conclusion? I actually have several male friends that I have never slept with and I am pretty sure that they have no interest in sleeping with me. I think it is a pretty general (and insulting) statement to say that men and women can't have a platonic relationship.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Of course we can have platonic relationships between men and woman. Did you get the impression from anyone responding to this post that someone thinks that this guy is pursuing a new platonic friend?
Your statement was "men don't want to be friends with women" which makes it sound very black and white and a blanket statement.
There is also nothing in OP that he is specifically looking for a FWB. Sure, we all think this is what he MIGHT be looking for, but we are all guessing. The only one who knows for sure is this guy.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Wow - was not expecting such feedback, but also thankful for all the honesty! He did not come off as a creepy let's be FWB dude, we actually had some conversations about faith and what not but obviously did not touch on any benefiting issues. I would no FWB because I am not that person anymore so it would suck if that turns out to be what he wants because he would not get it and I would not get the benefit of a friend.
My social circle just blows here and I just want a damn date already! To feel like someone wants to know me, go out and have fun and no sex unless it goes somewhere, guess I am old fashioned. Grrrr!
So then go hang out with him. Be very upfront that it is a strictly platonic relationship. If he is just looking for a fvckk then he will bail on you and then at least you know. OP, I would just advise you to look to expand your social circle and meet new people. The dates will come at the right time. After I broke it off with XH I joined a lot of new groups to meet new people. 99% of the time I just met new friends, but this turned out to be even better than getting a ton of dates out of it.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Yeah, after thinking about it that is pretty much what I am going to do. The social circle needs expanding, and though it feels like just one more thing on my to do list -- it is a big "me time" to do for my own sanity. Thanks!