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frlcb
Butting in on your eating stuff. Is it that F isn't eating at all or won't eat the good stuff? We had a problem with that for a while and you know what really helped? The following things:
1. The Sneaky Chef http://www.thesneakychef.com/ If you haven't heard of it or tried, the basic premise is there are 4 or 5 "bases" to foods that you mix up before hand then when making the kid's food, you mix these in. Like if your kid only eats muffins, you would mix in a base then you get them to eat what they like while getting the nutrients in. This is one of Quint's FAVORITE foods because he thinks it is funny to eat things off sticks (I home made the chicken nuggets because I think it is cheaper/healthier and we smoosh up cooked cauliflower in there):
http://www.thesneakychef.com/free-recipe-speedy-chicken-parm-pops.php
2. V8 Fruit Fusion http://www.v8juice.com/faq_v8fusion.aspx It smells like a$$ but every 8 ounce glass is a serving of veggies. Quint would drink 100 if we let him. I can't stand the stuff but he seems to down it. V8 according to our pedi isn't ideal but better than nothing. He would rather Quint eat his veggies (natural ones have more fiber) but said in a pinch, this is fine. Our pinch just turned into habit because the only vegetables we could get him to eat were peas, broccoli, and cucumber. Then one day he went on a strike.
3. Smoothies....you can mix anything up in a smoothie and call them milkshakes. Our go to is a mixed bag of frozen fruit (then you don't need ice), spinach, a banana, orange juice, flax seed, and yogurt....He has no idea the spinach is in there.
I'm sure you've tried 1,000 things but maybe you haven't tried one of these and it is helpful! Also, our pedi said that over the course of the week they eventually get what they need because one day they eat 100 grapes and the next day they eat none.
Food is frustrating!!!! You would think if they were hungry they would just eat.
Re: frlcb
Yeah, he won't eat at all. Seriously. Everyone says oh kids won't starve themselves.
Hahahahahahahahaha
He really would go days without eating if we let him. He refuses to drink juice, chocolate milk, smoothies, milkshakes, anything we could sneak good stuff into. He only drinks water and milk. Period. He does eat a ridiculous amount of fruit, and a ton of yogurt, so I feel okay about that.
It truly is the most frustrating part of parenting for me. DH and I argue about it, I cry about it, and he is small. It sucks.
But, I do appreciate your advice
Sounds awful, sorry
What WILL he eat? Don't worry, I'm not going to offer you parenting advice, I'm just genuinely curious 
ETA: That wasn't a shot an Obsession! I don't have kids, so I really can't speak from experience
Expat I didn't see it as a shot at all. It made me smile because of all the rules I created pre-kid. I never ever ever say "when you have kids you will understand" because I hate that when parents just shoot you down like you aren't entitled to an opinion just because you don't have kids. But seriously when you have kids you will understand
F - is it just with you or with anyone who tries to feed him? My cousin lives in Atlanta and hired a super nanny type woman. Want me to see if she does eating?
He has gotten better as he is getting older. He started eating ravioli for the first time a few weeks ago, and finally eats pizza that is cheese pizza, before he would only eat pizza with a bbq sauce base. He eats pasta now too, plain, but hey, better than nothing. Grilled cheese and quesadillas are something he now eats too. He eats a lot of bread, so we have to limit that or he would fill up on it. But he won't eat a sandwich. If we are lucky he will eat corn, but that is about the extent of his veggies. He will eat zucchini if it is breaded.
He does like fish, which is good, but he is picky on it, so he won't eat it if I make it but he will eat it at a restaurant. It is annoying. And he is like this with everyone. We have talked to a nutritionist and his pedi and basically we are doing nothing wrong, it is all him. I am waiting for the day he eats everything and we can look back on this and laugh.
James is also big on fish. Does he like fish pie at all? Its our go to meal.
just wanted to butt in and say another good cookbook is deceptively delicous by jessica seinfeld - I borred it from a friend recently after I told her how G won't eat many veggies anymore - every recipe I have made has been SO good! Most of them G actually liked too!
I am SO buying that sneaky chef book too - thanks for the rec!
Good luck frclb, from my experience with working with children, often this is just a phase that will pass. Children will often go from being amazing eaters around age 1-2, then become picky until 3 or 4, then change again. It must incredibly difficult and stressful for you right now, though.
Hi, is he sick or have any other problem? Might sound weird when read just like that I know, but what I mean is he having trouble eating/swallowing? My nephew was a terrible eater, like really bad... would only eat a particular brand of bread, particular type of butter, only eat rashers (of bacon) and rice crispies. He was always getting tonsilitis and his snoring was really, really bad. (imagine your dh going out and having a load of beers with his mates and then coming home, sleeping on his back and snoring... and then increase the volume a bit more!). They eventually brought him to a specialist because of the tonsilitis and the specialist said that it was the worst case he had ever seen... and that was just with my nephew walking in the room, not even looking down his throat yet!!
The problem was that his tonsils were not only swollen when he was sick, but nearly all the time so the gap between them was tiny and made swallowing very difficult... he was a very skinny child as a result. He has his tonsils out now and the snoring has stopped but unfortunately his habit of being a picky eater has continued... and he's now 12...
On a more positive note, his younger sister is a great eater and always has been! So just because your son is a picky eater doesn't mean that your daughter will be too...
Frlcb, has he always been picky or is it more since toddlerhood?
M ate so well between starting solids - until about 3 years old. Now he ONLY eats well when he is alone with me or at school. As soon as someone else is around (H, the ILs or friends), he refuses to eat on his own. It frustrates H so much, I think I'm going to start kicking him out at M's meal times.
I really thinks it's an age thing, there isn't much he can control in his life, except for if he eats. He's trying to show who is boss.
This is a very good point...
No, he isn't sick. We have talked to the doctor about that as well, because I have heard that before, about the swallowing. No issues with him. And he has always been this way, literally, since birth. He didn't eat anything for like his first 2 days, despite my trying to nurse him and then give him a bottle. He didn't care. It used to take him an hour to finish a bottle when he was a baby, dd sucked them down in like 10 minutes. He has just never had an appetite. And now I do think it is a control thing, because when he does try stuff he likes it.
Trust me, we have done/talked/tried everything. It sucks but we have decided the less we focus on it the better he does.
Edit: I should add he is starting a new school next year, that he will be in from pre-k through 8th grade and in kindergarten they require the kids to eat food they provide for lunch, we can't pack a lunch. It is all organic, and healthy (ie, no pizza, chicken and fries, etc) and we are holding out HUGE hopes that him sitting with his friends and watching them eat these foods will make him try new stuff.
I'm going to break my promise of not offering advice - sorry! This occurred to me as I was falling asleep last night, and you've probably already tried this (or similar), but it's worth a shot that you haven't, so I'm going to throw it out there.
You say he likes fish. And restaurants. So maybe he'd like to be a chef? What if you made a huge to do about him making a meal? He picks out the fish at the grocery store. He "cooks" it for the family. And then, hopefully, he'll eat it...
I'm sure there are kids cooking shows he could watch to reinforce this. And maybe a chef's hat.
That is probably the healthiest attitude to have... I suppose focusing on it could lead him to think that the "bad" behaviour is rewarded with your attention (and I'm not at all saying he or his behaviour is actually bad!!). The influence of peers next year may well get him to try new things - not wanting to be seen as the odd one out.
My heart goes out to you...