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s/o: posting outdated or misleading pics when online dating
Turtle's date post got me thinking: why do people do this? J and I were talking about this last night and how this makes online dating so much more difficult. He and I met on match and we both were only on there for a little longer than a month, but had similar experiences with dating. People often post pics that look nothing like them, or are outdated.
I just can't understand it and I think it makes things even more awkward than they already are when you actually do meet. I remember texting for a little while with a guy who eventually texted me a current pic. He looked NOTHING like his pics on match and had gained a considrable amount of weight. It may have been shallow but it was one of the deciding factors that made me not want to meet him. J said he'd had similar experiences with the few dates he'd been on.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is but I figured I'd see what SO thought.
Re: s/o: posting outdated or misleading pics when online dating
I actually posted older pics of myself at first. Last year when I posted on Match
I went to my old "stand by"s before realizing the next day that I am about 15lbs heavier and my hair was toatlly different (length, bangs etc). I put them up out of habit, cause they were the best pics I had of myself...
Though, like I said, the next day I took some new pics on my camera and dug up some nice ones my sister had taken at the last holiday.
I can tell you this: 3 yrs ago I was on match for the first time and I got many more messages then I did last year. I know it some of it was because I was divorced and a single parent, but I know I lost a big chunk of interest because of my weight. I think some people are just insecure and want to be seen at their best, so they post pics of them at their best.
Going from "athletic" to "about average" in the weight catagory eliminates a lot of people from the pool of interest.
It is still not right to mislead people. I think a lot of the people though are just not honest with themselves.
Can we talk about the weight categories please? I think there should be some standard guidelines for this...I see lots of guys putting "athletic" who are far from it, based on their pictures. Or "about average" can go either way. I always put "curvy" because I look like a woman (hips, big boobs and a butt) but wonder if that is limiting my options?
It took me awhile to accept myself for who I am and with the way I look. Ironically, I was much thinner and in shape when I was more insecure.
I think it just telling that the person has not yet free and comfortable in their own skin. I don't necessarily think this is a red flag as I am sure all of us go on that journey at some point but definitely something to be cautious about.
Like other posters responded to my earlier posts, I think it is important to be open minded while guarded and careful.
This made me think of this It's Not a Match Post:
http://itsnotamatch.com/2012/02/09/what-body-types-on-dating-sites-really-mean/
LMFAO! Awesome...I love it!
I am a pretty average size, size 6/8, 127 pounds (and losing - woot!), but I've got an "Oakland booty" and have had 2 kids, so I have some extra tummy weight. I always feel weird meeting someone because their idea of "average" might be different than mine.
Curvy annoys me, and here's why: I think when a man sees "curvy" he thinks Christina Hendricks or Kim Kardashian, but I know women who look more like Melissa McCarthy who consider themselves curvy rather than "a few extra pounds." Most of the categories are so subjective to how a person sees herself. A guy I went out with a few weeks ago said he hates those categories because they're misleading. I agree, but I'm certainly not going to post my measurements! LOL
I have no idea why people do it. You're only fooling someone until you meet, and then it's obvious. I think it's like PP's have said, either (1) people are not being honest with themselves, or (2) people are trying to put their best image out there even though it's not accurate.
It is wierd I dated 2 guys last year and both said that I was not "about average" meaning I was not heavy enough to put that... but I didn't see myself as athletic at the time either!
I felt better saying "about average" because I felt it was more accurate.
I HATE when men post misleading pics!
My all-time worst date from online (he NO JOKE asked me for a handjob, then asked if we could make out in my car, then asked if we could just have phone sex -- to make a long story short) showed up about 15 years older and 20 lbs heavier than his pics. WTF dude?
I get confused too when there are a lot of pics where they look really different. WHICH one looks like you??
I'm so completely confused by the choices for women.
I don't think I would be considered thin or skinny, though I'm petite and at a good weight, comfortable enough in a bikini.
I've got boobs but I'm petite and have a slim/straightish build, so I'm definitely not curvy.
I usually choose athletic, because I have muscular legs and I really don't know what else to choose, but I think of athletic as more fitting for someone like RiverPestie (don't know if you post pics on here RP lol).
I'm curvy (hourglass figure) but with a few extra pounds and I can run a 10k tomorrow if someone asked me to. And I'm all of 5'2" and have to shop in the petite section most of the time.
WTH am I supposed to put? I put "about average" but I really am like 10 categories combinded. I also put a variety of pictures from just face to full body, so they know I have curves, am short, and athletic...and even a race picture with (gasp!) no makeup (it's cute though!)
No complaints so far...