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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Is curvy the kiss of death?
After the posts this morning, I'm wondering if I should change my weight category on Match to something else. I figured I should put curvy because I have big boobs, hips and a booty, but is that causing guys to write me off? I'm 5'7", wear size 11/12 and have 38DD boobs. I'm definately not thin or athletic and have some weight to lose. So am I better off using "a few extra pounds" versus "curvy"? What say you S/O?
Re: Is curvy the kiss of death?
Why not "about average"?
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I guess I see myself as slightly heavier than "average". Maybe I'm totally off base with this!
ETA: I guess my concern is no matter what I put a guy might find it misleading...I'm trying to be honest about it!
I'm pretty sure 11/12 is average!
I don't know. Honestly. I don't know what to pick for myself either.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
Yup, pictures are up and I have a couple of full body ones so I don't think I'm being misleading!
Makes you wonder if guys are actually sorting by body type when looking and if I'm getting overlooked?!?
When I was on Match I used to sort by body type. Granted, I put 3 choices in but it is possible. You could always do an experiment and switch it to "average" and see....
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I might do that....and honestly, I hadn't sorted guys by this but if they didn't have "curvy" in their "likes" I didn't contact them thinking I wasn't their type....why do I think guys don't put this much thought into this stuff?!?
Eh, I wouldn't go that far. I put that I wanted a non smoker for my partner and BF had in his that he was a cigar aficiando. I still communicated with him despite the difference.
Reach out to them anyway. Weight and body type is very subjective and you may be selling yourself short.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I appreciate the advice and plan to throw myself out there a little more to see! Thanks!!
This confuses me then. I'm 5'8", 155, size 8 and I would put myself as "average" - but the next step down is "athletic" and I work out a couple times a week but I'm not doing some decathlon or anything. I wouldn't put curvy either...
Thus the earlier conversation about how confusing these all are.
I'm a size 4 and I'm tempted to put average too. I'm not thin or really athletic. *shrug*
They can look at the pics.
Average is kind of a catch all.
Yeah, I always say they can look at the pics cause I'm 5'10'' and have a smaller waist but a big rack. So technically there's some curve there but I feel like "curvy" means something different than that.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I feel like both Curvy and A Few Extra Pounds guys typically equate with being larger/quite overweight - which to me, OP it doesn't sound like you are.
When I was doing match (about 1.5 yrs ago) I was probably somewhere between a size 12/14, working out a lot so pretty toned, and around a 36/38D and put About Average. I had originally put Curvy down, but wasn't getting a lot of "hits" and the friends I talked to about it thought I should switch to About Average.
It worked - I got a lot more traffic on my profile. Not all good, but that goes with the territory.
OP, you may also want to do a reverse search for girls - see what other women are putting down and then adjust accordingly to fit you/your profile.
Overall though I agree w/ the PP who said there are pictures and guys can look at them and then contact you if they want.
I agree with that also (bolded). I think average comprises anyone up to size 12/14 (depending on height) and if you are smaller/thinner than you can use thin or athletic if you so desire.
I think I'm a little cautious because I was 50 pounds heavier last year so I think I still have a little bit of that "I'm heavier" mentality.
And FWIW, I've never really had an issue attracting guys, so I think I'm just over thinking this!
Huh. I'm the opposite of all of you. I had zero success as"about average". I think it was because I got lumped into the thin/athletic/average search that most guys run, and I wasn't gonna compete in that category. I switched to curvy and BAM I started going on more dates. I always assumed that it was a nice way to say overweight, but BF said that was not the case. I read the same thing on that It's Not a Match blog - that was one of his preferred criteria.
FTR, I'm pretty much the textbook definition of curvy...Joan from Mad Men in a smaller package. It was nice to find men who were attracted to that instead of the Bettys and Megans.
FWIW - I'm 5'7", somewhere between a 12/14 and wear a 38C. I have myself listed as average, and never thought about going to a "heavier" status. I also have never had any guys tell me that I had deceived them.