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Apparently I am hot stuff all of a sudden...
Okay it's been 4 weeks since XBF punched me, gave me a concussion, etc.
I've been doing well. Keeping positive, cleaning him out of my life, going out with friends, meeting new people, trying to expand my circle of friends. Well in the last 3 weeks all of a sudden 3 dudes want to date me, and one is my boss at my 2nd job.
Oyy. I told everyone I wasn't ready and that really I just want to work on getting myself straight, getting my apartment cleaned up, getting my life back in order. I don't mind having friends, or texting/calling/talking, but I REALLY don't want a boyfriend.
They seem to be pretty understanding. Guy number 2 kinda dropped off the face of the earth when I wouldn't sleep with him. Oh well. Guy number 1 is the one who was attached to my hip when I had the black eye. Well he and I have been texting daily, just common stuff like "What's up, how was your day, etc." I haven't seen him in two weeks and we made plans to go flea marketing this coming Sunday.
Guy number 3, aka Bossman, took a few of the coworkers out for dinner the other night. After dinner, I get a random text asking me to come to the bar and I had nothing better to do so I did. He's cool. Fun. Not what I'm normally attracted to, but he's very charismatic. And we didn't flirt or anything all night, just hung out with his friends, no big deal, until the end of the night when he kissed me. And then the next afternoon when he texted me to say hi, and we texted a little. He asked me out to dinner next Saturday for a date. I said yes, but I reiterated that I'm not sure about boyfriend girlfriend stuff. I just want to keep it casual.
Funny that I'm hot stuff all of a sudden when I'm not looking to be serious with anyone. Oyy. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the attention, but really? When I do want to date someone, no one is ever around interested, but when I wanna take a little break, everyone is wanting me.
Sorry. I'm a little irked, but happy at the same time I guess. It's nice to get attention.
Re: Apparently I am hot stuff all of a sudden...
Dude, it's your BOSS. Why would you agree to this?!
My Lunch Blog
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
That is all very flattering. Maybe it is the cinic in me... but all of these men falling all over you when you have been through what you have been through is weird to me. Like they all have a "night in shining armor" fantasy or somthing.
Stay in touch with your feelings. try to reflect on what you really want and stick to it. If you really do not want a BF I would suggest not going out with your boss... it just seems like it would muddle things up.
I can't think of a more fabulous way to get fired and/or completely alienate yourself from your coworkers, become the office train wreck, etc.
I've recovered enough to have found my words.
Ok. You realize that when you tell dudes that you don't want a boyfriend and "aren't looking for anything serious" but continue to correspond with, go out with and make out with them, that they likely think you're just looking to get down? Maybe you are. I don't much care. I think it's a terrible idea, but whatever. But that's the impression you're giving off.
And, dude. Your boss? Get out. YOUR BOSS?! Do you not see what an epic mistake this is?
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Someone gave you a concussion 4 weeks ago
That is horrible.. I am very sorry.
Have you been to the doctor? Counseling?
I would focus on taking care of yourself and stay away from men for awhile ...especially your boss who kissed you... that is not ok. Why would you say yes to a date? Kissing someone and going on dates with them gives the message you are interested. If you are not interested cancel the date and don't ever go to a bar / dinner / coffee again
I...Just...No. JUST NO!
And your BOSS??? WTF?? Is that even allowed? Many companies have rules about those sort of things.
Also, you telling these men "I don't want a boyfriend" but still talking to/dating them= Booty call. You get that, right?
I...Just...no.
:::picks my jaw up from the floor.::::
Pretend you didn't write this post, go back and read it and think about the repercussions of it.
I honestly have no idea wtf to say .
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
It must feel flattering to feel liked by others but are these types of guys you want flattery from? It is almost like you think you don?t deserve better.
You've been through a lot and experienced something traumatic. Removing yourself from a dangerous situation was the best thing you ever did but that alone is not enough for healing. Please take care of yourself.
Oh dear, I know this is a hot mess.
I really am enjoying the attention, but I don't want to lead anyone on, but I need new friends. Really need new friends. I've been honest with everyone saying I'm not really ready because of everything I've been through and they seem to get it.
I figure dinner or drinks once every couple of weeks with a guy is harmless but I dunno.
Then make female friends.
Your words say "I'm not ready"
Your actions (kissing, going on dates) say "Let's do it!"
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
It wasn't just dinner/drinks once every couple of weeks... there was kissing involved and it sounds more frequent than what you mentioned above.. Not only kissing, but you were kissing your boss. NOT a good idea. Ever.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
It's pretty clear you're enjoying the attention. Yeesh. And it's pretty clear that you've got some MAJOR issues with seeking male attention. How about female friends? Why not focus on that? And why the push for new friends? Are you that lonely? Do you not have an already healthy friend base?
Look, you know you're making a mess, yet you continue to do it. As far as I can tell, you either knock it off (which would be the best choice), or you don't. But if you don't, you really should stop being all dramatic and hand-wring-y about it. You know you're making poor decisions. If you continue to do so, you should give up the front and just own it, already. This "oy! I'm in over my head, what do i dooooooooo" routine is making me stabby.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
1. These are not the kind of friends you need.
2. They do "get it" and they see that you're vulnerable. Any guy who would still ask you out knowing that you're not ready for a relationship and just got out of a really bad situation is NOT someone who is out to help you, he's someone who is out to take advantage of you. My XH is one of these people, so I know the type very well. He preys on women who have just gotten out of bad relationships because their low self esteem helps HIM feel better about himself. This is a dangerous situation. Please don't let these guys do this to you.
How about I give you some options:
A) Why don't you and all three of these men just form a compound and live together? They can be your brother-husbands or some other similar term of endearment.
C) Check yourself into the nearest padded cell
D) Listen to everyone here telling you to be alone, get healthy for yourself, go to counseling, take a dating sabbatical, etc.
I'd pick option A, but I'd also throw in: get pregnant but aren't sure which one is the baby daddy so you find yourself on Maury screaming "I'm 1000% sure he's the dad"
Please get help
I can't comment either, but this one cracked me up!!!!
since PPs have filled the required WTF quota, i'll just chime in with one original thought.
Telling guys you are not looking for a boyfriend is seldom effective. In one ear an out the other. Especially when you subsequently go on dates!
I think "I don't want a boyfriend" and making out with guys=booty call. If some guy told me he didn't want a girlfriend, but made out with me, I would definitely think FWB.