Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I think I need to break up with my therapist
She has said like 3 or 4 times now things that make me think she doesn't want to work with me any more. Yesterday she said "are you sure you really need to be in therapy right now?" That's not the first time she has said something similar. I've seen here like maybe 8 times now. I still feel like my life is prettyfucked up but I really don't want to start all over with someone new again. I started going to her b/c I was pretty depressed. She did help me with that for sure. But now I think it's time to move on... maybe I should take a break from therapy for a while. idk, thoughts?
Re: I think I need to break up with my therapist
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I did.
She said that I can't just come to therapy and wish that things will change. I have to make changes. Change is hard though. If I knew how to change I wouldn't be in therapy.
She might have been testing you to see how badly you wanted to change or if you would be the type to leave if she "pushed" you.
Even so, you should feel safe, free , secure to confide with your therapist. If she is making you feel otherwise, I'd shop around for another one. This is a very huge investment you are making for your future so you want to get the best you can.
Ahh...so it sounds like she isn't challenging your need to be in therapy but rather your committment to change. She isn't telling you that you don't need to be in therapy. Stick with her and go futher into this with her.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
This makes me think she is trying to push you to actually make changes, not to stop seeing her. It sounds like she wants to help you make real progress.
How often are you going? Maybe if you're going every week, you could start going every other week or every couple of weeks? Change is hard to make, so maybe you should now use her as someone to check in with from time-to-time since you're past your rough patch?
Therapist don't try to push you to make you leave. They push you when they think that you aren't being 100% real to yourself and the process. It is a tactic to get you to think. If this is the first "issue" with her I wouldn't just up and leave. Would you end a friendship because of one comment that a friend made? You need to talk with her and communicate how you are feeling. It is SO important to the process.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
It's not the first time. When I talked about one of my issues, she said that is not an area that she is able to treat. She has also said before things like "I don't know what to tell you" and "I don't know how to help you with that". And she has said before that maybe I shouldn't see her any more.
Ok that's completely different. If she's saying those things and you feel like she's not really helping you, then I'd say you should look for someone else.
I know it can be a process, but having gone through it before I've found it helps to really think about the kind of person you feel most comfortable with. For me, I prefer female therapists who are relatively close in age to me. For some reason it seems more like speaking to a friend and I have an easier time opening up. Most insurance providers have provider websites that have this kind of info.
Okay, that is way different. Sounds like she may not be qualified to treat you, not that she doesn't want to. I think that is a good think that she is upfront about not being qualified. Ask her for a referral for someone who may have the expertise.
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
I wasn't saying the "push" was the intent to make her leave. More that she was analyizing how she would respond if she was being "pushed". Therapist needs to figure out the degree of level of how much they can push as it ranges with different clients. Some needs to go at a much slower pace while faster for others. Pushing makes one think but there is a such thing as too little pushing and too much pushing.