Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Someone has to know what to do... i don't
Hey guys... I'm sorry my first post hast to be so neg. But my husband has his own company, i work for him... the thing is we work very hard and sometimes i wont have time for myself because i have to be at the office, so housework tends to be very hard on me. He has fired me around four times in the last two months and I'm tired of it. The thing is that even though he sees how hard I work, if he sees that i have trouble in the morning waking up he will get mad, and just start fighting, another thing that happens is that no matter the time we get home, he expects me to do housework or cook. I'm not complaining but i don't get any help from him, an he expects the house to be in tip top shape. Kinda hard with a dog that demands attention and coming home @10pm.
Yesterday I said a stupid comment about being really tired and joked about taking two weeks leave. He flipped out and left the house. Haven't seen him since. I know he is with family but i cant approach him, he wont answer my calls.
Adding to everything, We just bought our first home and I know it's a little stressful. But that shouldn't give him the reason to treat me like that. No kidding... for the last two weeks I wake up crying and go home crying because we got in a fight. I don't know what to do. Does anyone know!!!
Thanks.
Re: Someone has to know what to do... i don't
Find a new job, find a counselor, find your husband
Or
Find a new job, find a divorce attorney, find a new husband.
"He has fired me around four times in the last two months and I'm tired of it."
Yeah, you should probably not work for him anymore. Trust me, it might be the best thing ever for your marriage.
"If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it. Don't be mad when you see a knit cap won it. If you wanna win then you shoulda put a hat on it."- Fenton
You don't believe in divorce? Sounds like you don't believe in self respect either.
I feel like I need more information -- how many hours do you work each day? What is the nature of this business? What exactly happens when he fires you?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
What does HR or his manager think about you working for him?
And divorce isn't Santa Claus.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
What?
How is he a district manager for a company he owns? Is this a pyramid scheme?
But that's beside the point. Tell me why you love this man. Seriously.
Crap...I Mean Crafts
Look, I get tha tyou dont' WANT to divorce, and hopefully not working for him will be the "fix" that you need (although I doubt it- he'll still expect you to take care of the house w/o helping....), but.... what if it doesn't fix things? Is this really the kind of marriage you want? You don't get a brownie when you die for not divorcing out of an unhappy marriage.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Man, what a d*ck.
On another note, even though my husband is not a d*ck, there's no way I could ever work for a significant other.
"What time did I get in today? Fcuk you, that's what time!"
imagine if you were not married to your boss. his behavior would obviously be outrageously unacceptable, right? you'd never stand for this from a 'real' boss.
man, it's rarely a good idea to mix work and home life. he's taking advantage of you and being an insufferable prick.
i also want to know more about this business, and his role. why do you come back after you get 'fired'? if you were fired in real life, you wouldn't go back on the job the next day like it was make believe.
MH and I own a business. I don't even understand how he can fire you. If it's his business and you're married, it's your business too. And even if it's not in your name, wtf- if mh tried to fire me, which on occasion I wouldn't be surprised if he thought it, he would be in for a shiitstorm. But it wouldn't happen anyway.
I don't understand how this is acceptable to you in any way. You don't believe in divorce? That's the most moronic thing I've ever heard. You should've believed in pre-marital counseling then. You just stand by and accept emotional/mental abuse instead? What about that is appealing to you?
This is his personality. Controlling a$$hole. He isn't going to change- at least overnight.
Why I believe in Deee-vorce by P.D. Xmouse.
In the bad old days, men routinely beat their wives, treated them like children, wasted their talents and fortunes and there was fuckall the women could do about it. When you don't have freedom, including the freedom to walk, you have nothing. And frankly, the baby men encouraged to live like tyrants without empathy or decency didn't have a whole lot either.
Statistically, the biggest change since no-fault divorce? The astonishing drop in spousal murder.
Why don't you believe in divorce?
---
Anyway, I would start with telling your H that he either needs to hire a new assistant or a new housekeeper, you're not doing two full-time jobs. Then I would get a counselor, couples or individual, his choice.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
I think everyone agrees.... either work for him, or live with him. It seems like the two are pretty much impossible together. I could not imagine working for my husband.... pretty sure we would get divorced after about a week. haha.
If you don't want to quit working for him, then sounds like you need to sit him down somwhere neutral, like your new living room. With no TVs on or cell phones, laptops or ipads to play with... just one on one. Explain to him what you just wrote on here. How you feel. Propose that if he needs you to be at the office that much, the house will be neglected. You can not neglect the dog, so something has to suffer. There are not enough hours in the day. Right now it's your marriage suffering.
Try your hardest to be nice. keep your cool as much as possible. Maybe have it written out or at least planned out what you want to talk about. His tone of voice with you.... That has a lot to do with respect. If he expects you to respect him, it needs to be mutual.
I don't really belive in divorce either, It is a serious no no... lbut really.... you can't live your life miserable... people make mistakes, so that' sjust a way of getting another try. If things don't change...