Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
UO Thursday
You want to do UO today? I have one. Please feel free to flame me or tell me that I am moving the woman's movement back or that I am old-fashioned.
UO: I think that I am a very nice person and I try to be very considerate. If I see somebody that needs a seat, I ALWAYS offer my seat to the person. However, today I was in the metro and there were only men sitting by me. I was reading a newspaper so I wasnt really paying attention. I later looked up and saw two women who had to be over 90 years old, standing there, holding on for dear life. Now, only one other person was reading a newspaper, the rest were just sitting there. Of course, I got up and offered my seat. They declined because they were about to get off but it made me really mad that I was the only one to do it and for me it was worse because it was the woman who offered and not the men. What happen to being a gentleman?
Plus, there are days when I take the metro and I am carrying tons of books and all the seats are taken. And in the back of my mind, I think that it would be nice for a man to offer me seat.
What do you think? Am I being old-fashioned?
Re: UO Thursday
I feel out of touch cause I don't know what UO means
but when I lived in London I was the same way - I always offered my seat to elderly & pregnant people & people with kids with them!
and I thought it was nice when a man offered me a seat, even though I'd decline
old fashioned - perhaps - but I do think it's nice
I think it would have been nice for someone to offer a seat and you did. I don't think a man should offer before a woman. It could be the case that all the other seated passengers looked healthy and well (which the majority probably were) but they could have invisible problems. I know I've been on the tram or bus after having put my back out or in agony some other way that meant I had to sit down but to others I probably looked fine.
The other passengers were likely just selfish twats and you get karma happy-feeling points for offering.
UO=unpopular opinion
Thanks! I believe in karma. I guess you are right that you never know about the other people. But in my defense, there were about 7 of them.
I'm with you. It particularly bugged the heck out of me that when I was pregnant, people either didn't offer seats at all or it was women who offered their seats. I don't necessarily think a man should offer his seat before a woman does, but what surprised me was that it only seemed like women had any capacity for sympathizing with me. Is it really that hard as a man to imagine that if you had two basketballs strapped to your front weighing down on your bladder, you might want to sit down? Is it possible that every man riding the NYC subway had never had a pregnant woman in their lives- a mother, sister, friend, wife, etc.?
My UO- I cannot relate to people whose entire identity revolves around what they do for a living/career. My attitude once caused someone else in my profession to refer to me as a "hobbyist," which sucked, but I now recognize that while I enjoy what I do, it's simply not the end-all-be-all to me.
I pretty much think men should offer first, but I've come to the realization that it doesn't happen. Now, I just think that whoever is closest should offer.
A few weeks ago on the subway this older women was struggling really hard. On top of that, the man behind her was pushing her and getting frustrated that she wouldn't move as fast as he wanted. My friend (whose back was to these people) immediately got up and offered her seat.
I so agree! I often think people only look at what you do professionally and not whether you are kind, caring, fun or whatever.
I think the standing up for people on the bus is a pretty popular opinion ;-) My personal favorite is when people decide that their bag has a right to a seat when other people are standing. When I was pregnant and having sciatica, I got on the bus and there was a guy (early 20s?) sitting in the window seat staring out the window with his iphone on and his backpack on the aisle seat. I walked up and said, "Excuse me," which he ignored. I then tapped him on the shoulder, gave him a raised-eyebrow look, and pointed to the bag. He got the idea and moved it.
On the US boards I'll sometimes throw out that I love socialized heathcare as it's practiced in Germany, but I don't think that's a very UO on this board, either. It led to a great (and civilized!) debate on TTGP, though.
Maybe an UO: I think people who do trend diets (Atkins, South Beach, Paleo, etc) are delusional. There are no really easy, really fast ways to lose weight (other than the stomach flu and some surgeries, but let's leave those out) and keep it off, and I side-eye anyone who tells me they're on one. That's in part because one of my cousins jumps on every diet-train that comes along and tries to evangelize me. I just enjoy pointing out the flaws in each diet's logic, which ticks her off. Shrug.
Edit: Before people jump on me, delusional is maybe a bit harsh. What I mean is I'm very skeptical about all these diets and don't understand why people think the newest diet is "the answer."
My ILs have both been doing the Paleo diet for a year and rave about how much better they feel. FIL says he was able to stop taking prescription meds for high cholesterol and MIL says her joints don't feel as swollen anymore. So, I can see making a diet change as a lifestyle change, particularly if you have chronic health issues you think can be controlled by your diet. (I'm not disciplined enough to do that, personally, and have a hard enough time avoiding lactose and acidic things that aggravate my system.)
That's different than wanting to magically shed 50 lbs. and keep them off when you go back to eating the way you did before the diet.
Exactly. My cousin also claims to feel better with Paleo, which is fine. But she's all, "You need to try this! Making pizza crust with cauliflower puree is great! Just buy almond flour to substitute for regular flour! OMG, you're eating wheat? Do you know how unnatural that is because our cavemen ancestors didn't eat it?!"
And when I ask her whether she thinks our cavemen ancestors cultivated cauliflower, she gets all huffy. I also once pointed out that our wonderful ancestors had a lifespan of about 30 years, so the argument that they "never got cancer" is totally illogical. I could go on, but that's not the point of this thread. I should make a separate one for diet bashing. I should make a whole blog for it, really.
In my early 20's my GFs and I went on a cruise together. I wanted to drop about 10 lbs so I did the Atkins Diet. (This was during the height of its popularity) I did it for about 5 weeks and ate bacon, hot dogs, cheese, and low carb bars...I ended up losing about 15 lbs...however, when I came back from the vacation I ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone. It was the absolute worst pain I have ever experienced....when the doctor asked about my activities and diet, he told me that the stone was most likely caused by my diet and dehydration from drinking alcohol and laying out in the sun on vacation...never again
My UO...(I used this one before on my BMB) it does not phase me at all when Max (our dog) licks DD. In the beginning we were careful to see if she was allergic, but she has not shown any type of allergic reaction. I'm happy that the two have bonded so well. The only time I will stop Max is if he starts to lick her excessively...then I simply tell him enough, give him something else to focus on, and wipe DD down...m family is so grossed out by this...
I also think that men should offer all the more, at least that's what I've been accustomed to in my life. Sometimes I want to offer my seat to pregnant women but I'm not sure they're pregnant (if you know what I mean)
so I sit there pondering what would be more embarrassing, not getting up to offer or offering and inevitably offend.
I don't have any UO I can think of right now.
Here's my UO, but I have to preface it with saying that I am actually a pacifist and against the dealth penalty and all that ....
BUT:
I find myself wishing Norway would just slowly torture Anders Behring Breivik to death.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
If I end up having a child, we're going to encourage Barney to lick our child...well, we won't have to encourage because he's such a licky dog. My FIL thinks we're disgusting letting Barney lick us on the face, and I'm sure he'll have a hissy fit about a baby getting licked, but I also am not a clean freak so I think it's cool.
Since it's a UO and not an FF post, I'm going to give that a
I'm incredibly proud of the way the government has handled the whole thing.
I don't want to see the trial sensationalized, because I remember the horror of that day, when the entire city was in shock. PM Stoltenberg's reaction of fighting terrorism with more democracy and more understanding really created an anchor and something for everyone to hold to when it felt like life here would never be the same. While I think that what Breivik did was horrible, I think that any kind of knee-jerk reaction would do more harm than good.
I'd have to agree Gilli. I also like how they are doing things fairly and democratically but also taking measures to deny him a platform for his views.
What are your feelings on him being potentially found insane?
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Ok, now we're out of UO territory, but I just wanted to comment briefly on that question because I think it's a good one. I think if he is capable of understanding the difference between right and wrong (he seems to know what he did was legally wrong) and he still chose to do what was wrong, then in a legal sense, he is sane and should be expected to carry out whatever the longest sentence is that Norway can impose (in Germany, "life" in prison = 20 years. Not sure if it's the same in Norway). That doesn't mean that he might not also have a mental disorder, which should certainly be treated while he's in prison, but again - if he knew it was wrong and chose to do it anyway, then I believe he's criminally culpable and needs to be sentenced accordingly.
From what I've been reading though, is that sentencing him as insane will hold a longer sentence in a psychiatric facility and will make his manifesto the ramblings of an insane person, so people won't take it as seriously, which would be much more punishment to him than general prison, where his manifesto would still hold weight because it was written by a sane person.
So to him, as he's said, he'd prefer death (he'd respect it) or prison rather than a psychiatric facility for political reasons.
Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
http://notesfortheirtherapist.blogspot.co.uk
Hm. Really, a longer sentence? What are parole options in each case? I think at least in the US then often the problem with sentencing to a psychiatric facility is if the person is declared "healed" after 3 months, then they're released.
So I think the sentencing length argument holds water if it's still possible to ensure that he's kept in for the entire length of the sentence. The argument about his manifest not being taken seriously, however, isn't legit in my eyes. Anyone who believes in that crap will just say, "ha! He's so smart in getting them to declare him insane so he stays out of prison." or else "Ha! People just don't understand his brilliance." I don't think him being declared insane will actually deter anyone who likes him from taking him seriously since they are obviously also insane themselves (half-joking).
I have to also agree with GilliC. Breivik wants to be given a death sentence (or freedom) so killing him would essentially be giving him what he wants. Locking him up forever and taking away his platform is, I believe, much more appropriate in this case. The Norwegian DH is also proud of how it is being handled especially since Norway's justice system really wasn't equipped to deal with a case such as this. They've had to alter/change some laws during the course of the case.
I also don't think Breivik should be found insane. I think if he has a mental illness, he should be treated while in jail. But, I think he knew what he was doing and he hasn't shown any remorse.
I will start a new thread for the trial discussion, because I feel bad that I inadvertently hijacked the post.