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Should I do this or no?

I posted a while back about BF and I wanting to rename our boat. XH used to do graphic design on the side including boat decals. I have been divorced from XH for 4 years. The last time I talked with him we were very pleasant to each other, talked about the past and really buried the hatchet. If I saw him in public I would probably say hello to him and exchange pleasantries.

I am thinking of emailing him to see if he still does the graphics because he will be WAY cheaper than if I go through an actual local graphic design company.

What say you, SO? Bad idea?

2011 Races
3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04

Re: Should I do this or no?

  • I would say no.  If I were your boyfriend, I wouldn't want your ex to have anything to do with our new beginning, especially something as exciting and new as a boat! 
  • Um, no.
    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • Is the cost savings worth the cost of opening that door (even a crack) to your XH?
  • imageDorisWE:
    Is the cost savings worth the cost of opening that door (even a crack) to your XH?

    Oh, no....this wouldn't be opening a door. He is happily remarried.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagedmarie979:

    imageDorisWE:
    Is the cost savings worth the cost of opening that door (even a crack) to your XH?

    Oh, no....this wouldn't be opening a door. He is happily remarried.

    I guess I meant more like, letting him see what's going on in your life now.  Sorry, should have clarified Stick out tongue

  • Nope.

    It's worth finding a neutral party, regardless of the price difference and regardless if you hve both happily moved on.

     

    The Nestie formally known as....
  • Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

  • imageDorisWE:
    imagedmarie979:

    imageDorisWE:
    Is the cost savings worth the cost of opening that door (even a crack) to your XH?

    Oh, no....this wouldn't be opening a door. He is happily remarried.

    I guess I meant more like, letting him see what's going on in your life now.  Sorry, should have clarified Stick out tongue

    Well, we run in the some of the same circles so I hear stuff about him and vice versa. So I guess I don't really care.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagejmbernadette:

    Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

    Bad, but things have improved since then. The last time we talked I congratulated him on his upcoming wedding and he congratulated me on buying a house. I felt like I was talking to someone that I used to know in college and hadn't seen in years. KWIM?

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagedmarie979:

    imageDorisWE:
    Is the cost savings worth the cost of opening that door (even a crack) to your XH?

    Oh, no....this wouldn't be opening a door. He is happily remarried.

    I would still say no, even if he is happily remarried.  You don't want to leave room for any doubts that may open to your bf or others.  I think it is more of a respect thing.

  • I also vote no, but I don't communicate with any of my exes and wouldn't want to open a door back into the past.
  • imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

    Bad, but things have improved since then. The last time we talked I congratulated him on his upcoming wedding and he congratulated me on buying a house. I felt like I was talking to someone that I used to know in college and hadn't seen in years. KWIM?

    Be  honest, is it really about the money or is it that you think you can have a friendship? I'm not saying it's not possible but I would just clearly examine what you want to get out of this. Unless you plan on naming the boat something clever like "Mama's little Upgrade" or something snarky :) 

  • Nope.  Let him live his own life and you live yours.  If you see each other in passing that's one thing, but don't seek out his services.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Another vote for no, especially because this is suppose to be a fresh start. 
  • imagejmbernadette:
    imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

    Bad, but things have improved since then. The last time we talked I congratulated him on his upcoming wedding and he congratulated me on buying a house. I felt like I was talking to someone that I used to know in college and hadn't seen in years. KWIM?

    Be  honest, is it really about the money or is it that you think you can have a friendship? I'm not saying it's not possible but I would just clearly examine what you want to get out of this. Unless you plan on naming the boat something clever like "Mama's little Upgrade" or something snarky :) 

    Bwahaha! No way! This is truly just about saving money. A couple hundred extra dollars in my pocket sounds nice!

    But I think Doris has a good point about the respect thing.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • I can't help but think, if the graphics XH made were totally awesome, and someone would ask you and BF about it, you'd both have to say every.single.time "my XH made them"....yeah, I'd pass!
  • imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:
    imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

    Bad, but things have improved since then. The last time we talked I congratulated him on his upcoming wedding and he congratulated me on buying a house. I felt like I was talking to someone that I used to know in college and hadn't seen in years. KWIM?

    Be  honest, is it really about the money or is it that you think you can have a friendship? I'm not saying it's not possible but I would just clearly examine what you want to get out of this. Unless you plan on naming the boat something clever like "Mama's little Upgrade" or something snarky :) 

    Bwahaha! No way! This is truly just about saving money. A couple hundred extra dollars in my pocket sounds nice!

    But I think Doris has a good point about the respect thing.

    I'm prepping to be flamed for this but...you have a boat...Where I come from, boat people don't need to save a few extra bucks.  

  • imageDorisWE:
    I can't help but think, if the graphics XH made were totally awesome, and someone would ask you and BF about it, you'd both have to say every.single.time "my XH made them"....yeah, I'd pass!

    Oof... didn't even think about that. Yeah, that isn't worth the $ that I would be saving. This is why I love SO!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:
    imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    Meh, I know someone who's XH is their financial adviser (both happily remarried) so I think it's possible. 

    On what terms did you divorce?  

    Bad, but things have improved since then. The last time we talked I congratulated him on his upcoming wedding and he congratulated me on buying a house. I felt like I was talking to someone that I used to know in college and hadn't seen in years. KWIM?

     

    Be  honest, is it really about the money or is it that you think you can have a friendship? I'm not saying it's not possible but I would just clearly examine what you want to get out of this. Unless you plan on naming the boat something clever like "Mama's little Upgrade" or something snarky :) 

    Bwahaha! No way! This is truly just about saving money. A couple hundred extra dollars in my pocket sounds nice!

    But I think Doris has a good point about the respect thing.

    Wasn't me giving solid advice...my head hurts too much for that! It was Heavenly...and I have to agree!

  • imagejmbernadette:

    I'm prepping to be flamed for this but...you have a boat...Where I come from, boat people don't need to save a few extra bucks.  

    I will not flame you for saying that. But I will tell you that I am not rich nor is BF. We are just good with our money and a boat is worth it to us. We can afford a boat because we save a few hundred dollars where we can.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    I'm prepping to be flamed for this but...you have a boat...Where I come from, boat people don't need to save a few extra bucks.  

    I will not flame you for saying that. But I will tell you that I am not rich nor is BF. We are just good with our money and a boat is worth it to us. We can afford a boat because we save a few hundred dollars where we can.

    Ok getting a picture now. You're like my Mom - two homes, month long vacations, drives a Lexus and washes plastic bags. Love that lady.  

  • imageDorisWE:

    Wasn't me giving solid advice...my head hurts too much for that! It was Heavenly...and I have to agree!

    It was. Sorry, Heavenly! It was a good thought, I agree.

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagejmbernadette:
    imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    I'm prepping to be flamed for this but...you have a boat...Where I come from, boat people don't need to save a few extra bucks.  

    I will not flame you for saying that. But I will tell you that I am not rich nor is BF. We are just good with our money and a boat is worth it to us. We can afford a boat because we save a few hundred dollars where we can.

    Ok getting a picture now. You're like my Mom - two homes, month long vacations, drives a Lexus and washes plastic bags. Love that lady.  

    Wow...not sure where you would get that picture of me. How about we paint an accurate one:

    After divorce I lived with my mother for a year. Saved a boat load of cash. Bought a VERY modest house that I could afford. Paid off my car which is 5 years old. Don't have any credit card debt. Managed to get through grad school with very little student loans. Not very materialistic so I don't really spend a ton of money shopping or on frivilous things. Haven't taken a vacation longer than 3 days in about 4 years. Finally got a new job that pays me 21k more than my last. I still live like I did on my old salary so I can pump money into my retirement fund.

    I really enjoy boating as does my BF. It is about the only stupid, $ sucking thing that we do. However, it is our weekend long vacation during the summer. Oh, and we bought the boat used.

    So, in a nutshell....judge much?

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:
    imagedmarie979:
    imagejmbernadette:

    I'm prepping to be flamed for this but...you have a boat...Where I come from, boat people don't need to save a few extra bucks.  

    I will not flame you for saying that. But I will tell you that I am not rich nor is BF. We are just good with our money and a boat is worth it to us. We can afford a boat because we save a few hundred dollars where we can.

    Ok getting a picture now. You're like my Mom - two homes, month long vacations, drives a Lexus and washes plastic bags. Love that lady.  

    Wow...not sure where you would get that picture of me. How about we paint an accurate one:

    After divorce I lived with my mother for a year. Saved a boat load of cash. Bought a VERY modest house that I could afford. Paid off my car which is 5 years old. Don't have any credit card debt. Managed to get through grad school with very little student loans. Not very materialistic so I don't really spend a ton of money shopping or on frivilous things. Haven't taken a vacation longer than 3 days in about 4 years. Finally got a new job that pays me 21k more than my last. I still live like I did on my old salary so I can pump money into my retirement fund.

    I really enjoy boating as does my BF. It is about the only stupid, $ sucking thing that we do. However, it is our weekend long vacation during the summer. Oh, and we bought the boat used.

    So, in a nutshell....judge much?

    Misunderstand much? I was paying you a compliment. Saying that if you know what you like and matters to you, you'll do the hard work and sacrifice to get there. Geez lady.  

  • imagejmbernadette:
      

    Misunderstand much? I was paying you a compliment. Saying that if you know what you like and matters to you, you'll do the hard work and sacrifice to get there. Geez lady.  

    Yes, I did misunderstand. The way I took your comment is that I waste money on stupid shiit and try to save a few pennies in an asinine fashion. I pride myself on being good with my money and making smart financial decisions. So yes, it makes me get a wee defensive. Thank you for clarifying!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
  • imagejmbernadette:
    Ok getting a picture now. You're like my Mom - two homes, month long vacations, drives a Lexus and washes plastic bags. Love that lady.  

    Being wise with money and thrifty doesn't equal living the life of luxury.

  • imagedmarie979:
    .

    What say you, SO? Bad idea?

    Yes, bad idea.  Don't do it!

    Photobucket
  • imagedmarie979:

    I posted a while back about BF and I wanting to rename our boat. XH used to do graphic design on the side including boat decals. I have been divorced from XH for 4 years. The last time I talked with him we were very pleasant to each other, talked about the past and really buried the hatchet. If I saw him in public I would probably say hello to him and exchange pleasantries.

    I am thinking of emailing him to see if he still does the graphics because he will be WAY cheaper than if I go through an actual local graphic design company.

    What say you, SO? Bad idea?

     I heard it was bad luck to rename a boat.  Is that true?  Yes, I'm superstitious.

  • imagesugarbabyluv:
    imagedmarie979:

    I posted a while back about BF and I wanting to rename our boat. XH used to do graphic design on the side including boat decals. I have been divorced from XH for 4 years. The last time I talked with him we were very pleasant to each other, talked about the past and really buried the hatchet. If I saw him in public I would probably say hello to him and exchange pleasantries.

    I am thinking of emailing him to see if he still does the graphics because he will be WAY cheaper than if I go through an actual local graphic design company.

    What say you, SO? Bad idea?

     I heard it was bad luck to rename a boat.  Is that true?  Yes, I'm superstitious.

    Yes, it is true. But seriously.....the boat's current name is the PlayBouy complete with the playboy bunny logo. I will take my chances with the bad luck!

    2011 Races
    3/12 5 mi -- 49:22 Pace: 9:52
    5/1 Half Marathon -- 2:11:22 Pace: 10:01
    5/22 10k -- 56:29 Pace: 9:00
    5/24 3.6 -- 29:03 Pace: 8:18
    7/10 15k -- 1:44:46 injured Pace: 11:14
    10/29 5k -- 28:24 Pace: 9:04
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