Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Geez! I can't wait to move on! STBXH really blew it the other night
I had to attend a social function the other night with STBXH. After everyone left and I was really enjoying talking to him, we decided to head to a martini bar together as he was being so nice and I was having a great time with him. He got completely smashed and started in on the verbal abuse that is the cause of our marriage ending. At the moment we headed out, I was thinking maybe, just maybe he was trying and we could work it out. But then he started in on me again. He was insulting my older son (from a previous marriage) and the following phrases came out of his mouth in rapid succession:
"I'm not going to let you f$ck up our younger son like you've f$cked up your son."
"He's such a loser and he's never going to amount to anything."
"He'll never go to college, he's such a f$ck up."
"You're a lousy mom and you're never going to amount to anything without me."
I sat there with a dropped jaw. Then, I picked up my stuff, walked out, drove home, and left him to walk home (4 miles!).
I came home, transferred half of our savings to a personal account, paid six months worth of student loans and car payments out of our joint checking account, paid my first month's rent on my new place (which would have come from my savings), and took him off all my accounts.
Bonus! The next morning, my older son (who, by the way, is well-behaved, kind-hearted, smart, and motivated. He's never even been in trouble or even grounded in his life. He's a little lazy, but nothing out of the norm for a teenage boy, I don't think) got up and completely unprompted, told STBXH how excited he was as he's putting together his portfolio to apply for early admission to art school next school year (he will be a junior). He then pulled out his awesome portfolio of drawings and proceeded to show them to me and STBXH. Dh sheepishly got up and started doing housework and laundry.
I have a new house all ready and waiting for me. Just have to close out work at home, pack my bags, and head out in just two weeks. Can't wait to move on!
I am so sad about my marriage ending, but I think that was the final straw I needed.
Re: Geez! I can't wait to move on! STBXH really blew it the other night
And yes, I know that paying out of joint accounts for my bills was not very smart, but he's seen the transactions and seems fine about it. I think he feels so stupid that he's not going to say anything about it.
Now I just have to figure out how to pay for older son's college, but I will do anything I can to help him succeed!
I'm really sorry that happened to you! I'm glad you have a plan and are ready to start moving forward!
((hugs))
I'm sorry you have to go through all this but I think what you did was great. Good luck to you!