Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
s/o sexual attraction
I have always felt like this was a really important element but never really imagined that you could have it all with someone. With XH there was a ton of sexual attraction but not a whole heck of a lot else. I worried that I would eventually have to end up settling for someone who I was less physically attracted to, but who I maybe connected with emotionally/spiritually/in other ways.
Even though I haven't been dating J very long, I do feel like there is a great mix of everything going on in the relationship. I told him the other night that sometimes I feel like it's a toss up whether I want to talk to him until 2am or rip his clothes off.
Just curious how everyone feels about sexual attraction/chemistry in a relationship.
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Re: s/o sexual attraction
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
You can't fake chemistry. There's no compromising there.
Fortunately, S and I have it. I'm glad you and J do, too.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
Your post makes me feel a hell of a lot better. I have thought for a while that I'll have to settle for someone I don't feel attracted to, because I haven't felt that with many of the guys I've met lately. thanks!
I believe in fire. It can be instant flames or be built up from smaller embers.
I think it is important no matter how it starts. It must always be tended to.
I was not sexually or physically attracted to my XH even though we were compatible in a lot of other ways. Ultimately our relationship failed mainly because of the lack of sexual attraction.
At this point I am willing to compromise on some things in a relationship, but having an immediate, strong sexual attraction to someone is not one of those things.
I have to say that I wasn't immediately, strongly sexually attracted to J. Yes, I was attracted to him but not to the same level I am now. Let me clarify, I definitely thought he was handsome and could see myself sleeping with him, for sure, but it was no where near as intense as it is now.
I think knowing that we connect emotionally like we do made the sexual attraction that much more. I really think that the best kind of attraction is the one that grows more each time you see them.
totally this. while I know I don't want to settle...it's been a string of guys I'm not attracted to and I try and convince myself "Well, maybe I could be attracted to them?". IBut I think there IS that perfect mix of chemistry + personality. So basically, I'm hoping there is the full package out there.
My BFF who's getting married this summer was always telling me that. She'd say "no A, WAIT for it, I promise you it's possible". Because I was just always of the mindset that it would be difficult if not possible to find it all.
I have not yet experience a relationship where I have it all with a guy including sexual chemistry. (I am not giving up)
Though...I do think it can be easy to fall into our weakness and settle for less which I am determined not to do.
Kind of this. The last guy I actually dated post divorce isn't what one would call super hot or completely in-shape, however, his personality and after emotions really kicked in - completely felt on fire whenever I was around him.
I think this is very wise!!
Your current approach is probably way more balanced than mine. I think I'm pretty cautious now since I thought that I'd grow to be sexually attracted to my X and it never happened. I'm no longer willing to risk getting emotionally involved with someone that I'm not immediately attracted to.