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This is a little weird, right?
DH got an email from his parents last night telling us about a family wedding in the U.S. in June. They assure us we're invited, but the bride and groom didn't want to send an invitation so we wouldn't feel obligated to fly from France for the event. Then his parents tell us all the cousins are flying in for the wedding, they'd love to see us there for it, etc.
Um, why wouldn't the people getting married send us an email saying "hey, no pressure, we didn't send a formal invite, but if you wanted to come, we'd love to have you there"?
I feel like DH's parents decided they want him to be there if all the other "kids" (adults ages 30-45, approx.) in the family will be there, not that the bride and groom actually care if we're there or not. Are we total jerks for wanting to sit this one out, particularly since the bride & groom haven't contacted us at all about the wedding and are not people we're close with anyway?
Re: This is a little weird, right?
That was my read. I don't mind not having been invited, but the more I think about it, the more annoyed I am at DH's parents taking it upon themselves to invite us when it's not their place to do so. They have boundary issues to begin with and this is just one more example.
I think it depends on your family dynamics. In my family, that wouldn't be strange at all since a lot of info about cousins' events runs through the parent grapevine and trickles back down to their respective kids. Having said that, I have gotten a formal invite to all of my cousins' weddings, even the ones it was clear I couldn't attend. Still, I wouldn't be offended or think it was strange if I didn't in a case like yours and just heard from my parents that I was welcome to come if I happened to plan a trip back at that time.
Again, it definitely depends on your DH's family. If that's odd even for them, then it sounds like your MIL was out of line.
yea I agree - it sounds like dh's parents just want you to be there & invited you even though they shouldn't have
very weird!
but strangely those people are out there - we had people CALL my Mom and ask to come to my wedding - it was SO weird - who does that?