Family Matters
catmiss9
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Invite question for moms with more than one child
If one child is invited to a classmate's/friend's birthday party, do you think your other child(ren) should be included on the invitation?
I have one DS and am planning a 5th birthday party. Invites went out and I have been contacted by woman who is upset that her 11 year old girl was not included on the invitation. I should clarify that we are acquaintances but not close friends.
I remember going to parties where my little brother was not invited and vice versa.
This is a voicemail from yesterday...have not called her back. Need some advice on this one.
Re: Invite question for moms with more than one child
This.
I agree.
I do not have any kids but I am a twin and I remember when we were younger we didn't get invited to each others friends birthdays and we were the same age. (There was the odd party that we were both invited to though) My mom never thought this was rude.
I don't have two kids, but that mom is dumb.
Ive been to plenty of parties where older kids stayed behind bc it was a little kid party.
Why the hell would an 11year-old want to hang out with a bunch of 5 year-olds?
Ditto PPs, she's looking for a babysitter. Don't give in to her.
I'd say no, unless the birthday kiddo is also a friend of the other siblings of the invitee.
An 11 year old would find a 5 year old's birthday party boring, I am sure.
Parents are welcome to stay if they want to. I plan to have "adult" food and beverage for those who want to hang out. Personally, I have not left DS solo at a party yet because he just turned 5 and many parties he's been invited have been scheduled at facilities ie. Bouncetown and I was nervous about letting him go it alone. I understand if a parent would want to stay if they felt the same. At the same time, if they feel comfortable with a drop off/pick up, that is fine with us, too.
To further clarify: This party is at our house. Besides DH and myself, there will be both sets of grandparents, DS's Godmother and two good child-free friends of mine to help supervise. Additionally, I have hired two of DS's sitters to serve as mother's helpers...ie. help open juice boxes, clear trash, whatever etc. So I think there is adequate supervision with a combo of 2 teens and 9 adults.
I'd say no, unless the birthday kiddo is also a friend of the other siblings of the invitee.
An 11 year old would find a 5 year old's birthday party boring, I am sure.
In my group of friends, we assume that all kids are invited to stuff. But our kids are mostly 3 and 1, so close enough in age. I can see a point where that won't be true anymore.
I'd call and either say 1) sure 11 yo can come, but it's really a party for 5 yos or 2) no, 11 yo can't come because of space, or whatever.
No way!!!
That mom is cray cray.
she was upset?!
I can understand her calling to ask if the sib could also go but to be upset that sib wasnt automatically invited? Sounds like she has issues
I just had my daughter's 6th bday party. Had a parent ask if she could bring her 7 year old son as well, & I told her that would be fine to bring him. Well, her 7 year old was a bully to the younger kids & I had to really keep an eye on him. I really didnt think it would be that big of a deal since they were so close in age, but I won't allow it next time. Don't know if this helps you or not, just my 2 cents =-)
I would call and tell her since the party is at your house, you don't have room to accomodate siblings. You can also say that it is a party for 5 year olds, and not meant for older siblings.
I do have a friend whos children are 18 months apart and one year apart in school. She will not allow her kids to go anywhere without each other - including parties, playdates and even activities (ie if one child doesn't want to do dance, the other won't have dance lessons). I do not understand her rationale AT ALL, particularly since I know (same sex) twins who go to separate parties and activities.
Oh my. Those kids are going to resent her and probably each other. That's a little crazy.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
To a classmate's party, no.
But if I got an invitation from a family in my church, I would ask if my other children were invited. However, I wouldn't be pissed if my other kids weren't. The mom is being a moron anyway. 11 year olds at a five year old's party??? Please
I would tell the mom you simply don't have room for entire families and you were only inviting your child's friends, not their siblings.
Click me, click me!
No, of course not, and it's especially strange for her to be offended given the age gap! I have three kids and one or two are often not invited. This is especially true when it's a small party and/or the party of a kid from school (vs close family friends). Parties aren't put on for free and often parents are paying for a place with x number of kids within their party package. When my 5-year-old had her party recently, I did find out that a couple of the kids (from class) had siblings and I told the moms that the siblings were welcome too. However, the kids were much closer in age and I had space left over in the party package. (It was a bounce house type of party.) One mom actually asked and offered to pay in case it cost extra but I said no worries. Another mom asked to drop off her daughter, which would have been fine, but since the reason was that she had two other kids, I said go ahead and bring them. They were close in age and knew my oldest daughter so it worked out great.
No. This mother is living in some distorted reality.
" hello Mrs. Entitled - This is birthday boy's mom. I received your message about your daughter not being included on the invite. Im sorry she feels left out but this is my son's birthday party and the kids are old enough now to dictate their invite list. I hope your son can still come but understand if you have an all or nothing philosophy"