Starting Over
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Re: Depressing Article :(
what's the gist of it? I started reading it but it's really long and too many numbers for this early in the AM!
Basically, highly educated women date the best guys in their 20s (highly educated too, sporty, great income...) not wanting to settle and think they can finally settle with those same guys in their 30s. But once in their 30s, those Mr Right settle with younger women in their 20s who are willing to settle too. The guys highly educated women ignored in their 20s (now in their 30s) want to date younger girls only because they get all the attention.
So if you're a highly educated woman in your 30s and single you're fvcked because guys your age have the upper-hand and are not really interested by you.
And that "Greenland" guy is a huge d!ckhole, no woman is missing out.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
I was saying something similar last week to some co-workers. One of them said her friend who is 25 will only date guys who are in their mid 30's. I have seen it in online dating as well. The only men who reached out to me (39-40) when I was on the sites were men who were over 48 and closer to 55. So I agree. I believe that a lot of men who are in their 30's and even 40's want women who are younger than they are.
I know! Even a guy in my office said he was a jerk...lol. I can't believe the "pump and dump" quote!
It is an Australian study and from what I have seen it's kind of true... there are tons of beautiful, successful women in their 30s here who can't find a quality man. My good friend wants to move to America because the Aussie men are such jerks!
The guy I am seeing though isn't... he is sweet but he doesn't make any $$, lives at his moms, and never went to uni. Not really someone I would want to marry but he is fun for now.
as much as I don't want to believe this, it does have a certain ring of truth to it. as a woman in my early twenties, I feel like I have the upper hand in dating situations. young, outgoing women tend to get a lot of attention from men of all ages.
I know that over the next decade or so, I will lose a lot of that attention - and the power that comes with it.
I always joke with my SO (who is young, athletic, and very financially successful) that I'm passing up my dating prime to commit to him, so he better pass up his dating prime when that time comes.
it's obviously not impossible to find someone in your thirties or forties, but I just don't see it getting any easier.
I think a lot of articles focus on women being single. Mainly because it might be a bigger deal to be a single woman if you want to have children. But still. Most of those articles point out that if you're single and a woman, it's because you're too picky, you're too career-oriented, your expectations are too high...and yet there is roughly the same number of single guys. I can still feel a hint of 1950s in those articles. Being a single guy is awesome: "Lots of sex buddy! no annoying wife in your life!" Yet being a single woman means there is something wrong with you and you should settle for less if you don't want to be a pariah.
I don't know... I am 31 and get lots of attention from men and don't find it difficult to compete with younger girls. I think it's that the age scares many men because so many women in their early 30s want to get married and have kids really soon. They are looking for a husband .. not focusing on the person.
I am not looking for a husband and don't want to have a child anytime soon... not sure I really want them ever. I am not going to pressure someone to move in with me after 6 months and look to get engaged in a year. When men hear this they can relax. In the end they are the ones who try to make me get serious with them...lol. But I haven't met anyone I want to get serious with so I just date for fun.
My single friends though are very baby/marriage focused and it's generally not something men are attracted to. I tried to tell them to stop it but they can't.
This is what I am doing. Good things happens to those who believe positively.
Look at the examples they gave - the three women in the lecture who wouldn't talk to the girlfriend after they found out she was dating the prof. No wonder those women are lonely - they are a-holes!!!
I had a lot of friends who treated men badly when they were young - things like going to a party with one guy, and making out or leaving with another guy. My (male) friend said "now they are crying that no one wants to marry them. Well, maybe if they treated men better, they wouldn't be so lonely now."
I do think that men who are shy and quiet when they are younger get opportunities as they get older - but they have not turned into playboys!!! And what about cougars? That has emerged as well, but is not mentioned in the article.
Women now out-number men in earning college degrees, so the statistics of women meeting a man equally or more educated are bound to diminish, but a man with a high school degree may earn as much as a woman with a BA (or even a master's) degree. I know more and more households where the man is the SAH dad, and is happy with the arrangement (man not emasculated, wife not resentful).
I never had a problem when I was in my 20's or early 30's. Heck, the year I turned 30 I was on fire. DH is older than I am, but did not exclusively date younger women before we started dating.
I would not date a player - that's not my type.
Agreed. I am honestly just not worried about it.
I personally don't feel this is a news flash. I think it's pretty common for guys to want to date younger women. This really isn't a problem for me as I tend to be attracted to men who are older and hopefully more mature.
I remember watching the millionaire matchmaker a few times and every single guy on the show only wanted to be introduced to younger women. The matchmaker would try to trick them but it never worked out because once they found out their age they seemed to find some reason to no longer be interested.
I feel these articles are written under an old stereotype of what women are supposed to do/be/want. I think that is an old stereotype of the "desperate" woman. Now women can support themselves on their incomes, can become mothers without a husband/SO (if they so choose), and have great fulfilling lives and careers without having a man to come home to. I am 35, I don't want children of my own, I have a pretty full life, and if I don't find "the one" again, then I just don't, and it's fine. As long as I can travel, and have my good group of girlfriends to go to winetastings, dinners, and nights out with, I am quite satisfied in life; even moreso than when I was married and did have someone to come home to every night.