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work baby shower issue! help!
I was in a meeting this morning with my boss and he mentioned the office shower. I was like, uh whut? He said the office wants to throw me a baby shower. (I should mention that I always give a nice gift when babies are born to any one in the office, when the mom or dad lets me know the kid is on the outside.)
Well, my culture doesn't do pre baby showers, and so I mentioned that to boss. He was like, nonsense! We want to celebrate, it's so exciting, blah, blah, blah.
I'm in need of a good way to tell boss that I REALLY don't do baby stuff before baby is born, but in a way that says "I think that you and the ladies behind this are really, really special" Gah! I don't want to tamp down the excitement but dang it no shower. I don't accept any baby gifts pre baby. It's superstitious, but man is it ingrained!
Re: work baby shower issue! help!
Book up your schedule until after your due date. lol.
Seriously, though, send a gentle email to whoever besides the boss you're the most comfortable with in the office, with a couple of links to Jewish tradition and explanations.
Updated September 2012.
I would explain to him again that while you appreciate the sentiment, you do not want a baby shower.
If they throw you one anyway, could you have a friend hold the gifts for you until after the baby is born? I know my cousins have done that.
I'd tell him again how uncomfortable you are with it - also - is this a cultural/religious thing? Perhaps mentioning the religious aspect would make him back off.
You could also tell him that as an alternative to the shower, you'd be happy to come to a office celebration with the baby once she is here. An office 'sip and see'.
I'd be nice about it, but I'd firmly say "I REALLY appreciate the sentiment behind wanting to throw a shower for me, but it's not something we do in my religion and it would really upset me if one was thrown before the baby is born. I appreciate that you aren't used to this, but I need for you to respect me on this. This really goes against my beliefs.".
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
In Judaism, there aren't baby showers. It's considered bad luck. As it was explained to me, what if you get the nursery together, everything set, and (g-d forbid) something happens? Then you come home to a set up nursey with no baby.
I used to think it was hogwash until it happened to my friend's sister (she had a full-term stillborn). On top of losing a child, she would have had to pack up lots of baby clothes and supplies
This.
I agree to say its against your beliefs to do it beforehand.
My boss is Jewish when her wife was pg they did do a shower (or at least bought stuff?) but they decided to just not bring the stuff into the house and that counted to them as adhering to the rules. Dunno how well that would jive with you, though.
Thank you people. The worst part of it is that the lady I know is driving it is the kindest, sweetest, most gentle soul. Gah!
I'm not going back to work after the baby, so I doubt I'd be let into the building after I leave. Maybe I'll have them write me up a visitor's pass!
Thanks again!
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10