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Angry.. need advice

Hello! I need some advice since I am fuming.. My husband has been looking for another job basically anywhere from where we live now. My supervisor has know he has been looking since January and the other day she was asking me about it. I told her he may accept a job offer in another state so we may be moving but I had no idea when and he hasn't even accepted it yet. I asked her what the requirements of resignation were so I would know and found out I had to give a months notice. 

Today a week later she has an email up that I can see addressed to the program head that says I am not making my numbers and she didn't know if she should bring it up since I hadn't turned in my resignation yet.. Also she tells me she had told the head and they want to put up an internal posting for my job...

 I haven't even put in my resignation and they want to put in an internal posting..   

What do I do with this?!! 

Re: Angry.. need advice

  • Take it as a hard lesson learned.

    You never tell a current boss about a potential move or new job unless/until you have signed a written acceptance.

    Ad what do you mean by "she had an e-mail up"? As in, you read her e-mail on her computer screen?

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    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
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    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • imageDr.Loretta:

    Take it as a hard lesson learned.

    You never tell a current boss about a potential move or new job unless/until you have signed a written acceptance.

    This.  Exactly this. It does not that you maybe friendly with the boss ... never never tell.

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  • I know, I realize that now. I am just mad bc I was saying it because I knew it would happen sooner or later but I mean at least wait till I resign to put up a posting (they haven't done it yet) They still would have a month to fill the position. 

    Yes while I was in her office she had her email up, with me and her sitting there and it was on her screen. I guess she didn't care if I saw that.  

  • I guess I don't understand why people are up in arms if their job is posted before they leave. These things can take time, and I've never taken it personally. Heck, I came back for a month before leaving my last job (after I'd taken mat leave) and met the woman who was going to take my place. NBD.

     

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    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • imagelgrn22:

    I know, I realize that now. I am just mad bc I was saying it because I knew it would happen sooner or later but I mean at least wait till I resign to put up a posting (they haven't done it yet) They still would have a month to fill the position. 

    Yes while I was in her office she had her email up, with me and her sitting there and it was on her screen. I guess she didn't care if I saw that.  

    I'm sorry this happend to you.  I hope you and your DH find something better soon.

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  • imageDr.Loretta:

    I guess I don't understand why people are up in arms if their job is posted before they leave. These things can take time, and I've never taken it personally. Heck, I came back for a month before leaving my last job (after I'd taken mat leave) and met the woman who was going to take my place. NBD.

     

     

    I have not resigned yet! I don't care if I even train a new person. I am mad that they want to put up my job before I have resigned since this transition can take a while to finalize with my husband.  

  • imagevigurl:
    imageDr.Loretta:

    Take it as a hard lesson learned.

    You never tell a current boss about a potential move or new job unless/until you have signed a written acceptance.

    This.  Exactly this. It does not that you maybe friendly with the boss ... never never tell.

    Ditto both of these.  Nothing you can really do now.

  • imagelgrn22:
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I guess I don't understand why people are up in arms if their job is posted before they leave. These things can take time, and I've never taken it personally. Heck, I came back for a month before leaving my last job (after I'd taken mat leave) and met the woman who was going to take my place. NBD.

     

     

    I have not resigned yet! I don't care if I even train a new person. I am mad that they want to put up my job before I have resigned since this transition can take a while to finalize with my husband.  

    They know you are going to resign and since you mentioned it back in January I'm sure they are expecting a resignation sometime soon.  The company is doing what it needs to do to make an easy transition and frankly they could care less about your feelings.

  • imagegiggles0918:
    imagelgrn22:
    imageDr.Loretta:

    I guess I don't understand why people are up in arms if their job is posted before they leave. These things can take time, and I've never taken it personally. Heck, I came back for a month before leaving my last job (after I'd taken mat leave) and met the woman who was going to take my place. NBD.

     

     

    I have not resigned yet! I don't care if I even train a new person. I am mad that they want to put up my job before I have resigned since this transition can take a while to finalize with my husband.  

    They know you are going to resign and since you mentioned it back in January I'm sure they are expecting a resignation sometime soon.  The company is doing what it needs to do to make an easy transition and frankly they could care less about your feelings.

    Ding ding ding, except they couldn't care less. They probably know better than you how long it may take to find someone, and if they can get a jump on things now, so much the better. Again, I will never understand why people take this personally. You stepped in this mess, now you have to deal with the consequences. Lesson learned.

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    Our little Irish rose came to us on March 5, 2010
    Don't drink the water.
    Disclaimer: I am not an MD. Please don't PM me with pregnancy-related questions. Ask your doctor.
  • I guess.. thanks 

    Just find it hilarious that they could care less since I work for a non for profit social service agency. O well like pp stated lesson learned. Don't share even though I do the right thing all the time. 

     

  • imagelgrn22:

    Just find it hilarious that they could care less since I work for a non for profit social service agency. O well like pp stated lesson learned. Don't share even though I do the right thing all the time. 

    But in the end, it's still a business and they will always put that first before their employee's.  It sucks, but that's the reality. 
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
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  • imageDr.Loretta:

    Take it as a hard lesson learned.

    You never tell a current boss about a potential move or new job unless/until you have signed a written acceptance.

    This.

    You never, ever let an employer know that you may be leaving your job. 

    ETA:  Plenty of employers would have fired you already.  Employers don't like to have employees who they know plan to leave.

  • "Yes while I was in her office she had her email up, with me and her sitting there and it was on her screen. I guess she didn't care if I saw that."

    This sounds like a passive aggressive boss. 

  • imagelgrn22:

    I guess.. thanks 

    Just find it hilarious that they could care less since I work for a non for profit social service agency. O well like pp stated lesson learned. Don't share even though I do the right thing all the time

     

    Can you really make this statement?  Especially now that your poor choice of words has cost you your job? 

  • Honestly, if she came to you and asked you to work on your numbers and perform better, would you work hard to do so, knowing that you're on a countdown to leave?

    From my vantage point, what I'm seeing is that you're under-performing in some way, and while they'd normally handle it one way (Performance management?)  they're trying to decide whether to just let it go, because after all, you're leaving at some point, as you've put yourself in control with the timing of " I'll let YOU know when I'm ready to leave...." 

    In the meantime, with your poorer performance, they could be feeling handcuffed.  If it is the kind of thing where they might replace you anyway, even if you weren't planning on resigning, then they're just trying to figure out if the fact that you've already announced you're leaving complicates the fact that they're thinking that, now that they know they're going to have to replace you at SOME point, why not do it now, while your numbers are poorer, and get out of the bad situation that you're putting them in.

  • imagebunnyfriend5:

    "Yes while I was in her office she had her email up, with me and her sitting there and it was on her screen. I guess she didn't care if I saw that."

    This sounds like a passive aggressive boss. 

     

    She is very passive aggressive.  

  • imageEastCoastBride:
    imagelgrn22:

    Just find it hilarious that they could care less since I work for a non for profit social service agency. O well like pp stated lesson learned. Don't share even though I do the right thing all the time. 

    But in the end, it's still a business and they will always put that first before their employee's.  It sucks, but that's the reality. 

    This. All of it. No one EVER cares as much about your career or YOU as you yourself. Not well meaning bosses, not mentors, NO ONE. You have to look out for yourself. At the end of the day, your employer (non-profit, government, private business, whatever) is always looking out for itself.

    Seriously, take this whole thing as a lesson learned. You are not in the workplace to make friends, you are there to make money. Period. Your boss is never your friend. Period. Even if you are friendly. Can you be friends once you leave? Sure. I'm good friends with one of my first bosses, but were were not friends until after I'd moved on. And, like the other ladies have said, never, never, NEVER tell your boss or anyone at your current job that you are leaving until you really are.

    And, it is well within their rights to post "your" job whenever they choose. Always remember that everyone is replaceable. Everyone. Hopefully they let you leave on your accord and don't just go ahead and fire you. Because that is well within their rights, too. 

  • imageDr.Loretta:

    Take it as a hard lesson learned.

    You never tell a current boss about a potential move or new job unless/until you have signed a written acceptance.

    Ad what do you mean by "she had an e-mail up"? As in, you read her e-mail on her computer screen?



    Ditto all of the above.

    Never ever tell a boss --- or your coworkers -- about something like this. As you can see, management can get very pissy about it.

    The only exception to the rule: your company/division is closing and everybody is looking for another job.
  • imagelgrn22:

    I guess.. thanks 

    Just find it hilarious that they could care less since I work for a non for profit social service agency. O well like pp stated lesson learned. Don't share even though I do the right thing all the time. 

     

    Well, there is that whole other issue of you not making your numbers. I don't know what that means in your position but it sounds like maybe your bosses don't think you always do the right thing... 

    Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing...Harper Lee
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