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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
single mother,guys interested but not in kids!!!
Im a single mother of a 3 and 2 year old and i just cant go out and find a baby sitter all these guys are interested but not ready for the kids in the relationship yet im very interested in a guy but how can i make it last?
Re: single mother,guys interested but not in kids!!!
If the guy isn't interested in the kid part of you, he isn't interested in you. Period. He either wants your whole package or none at all.
I am a single mother, and when I first started dating my bf, I laid it out for him. I have custody of my son all but 8 days/nights a month. Those are the days I can go out with him. He respected that. As our relationship progressed, on the nights I couldn't go out, he'd always call me to say goodnight after my son's bedtime. We would have some great chats on those pre-bed phone calls. Now that we live together, we make it a point to lay in bed and still have a pre-bed chat every night like we used to on the phone before turning on the tv (we like to fall asleep to the tv).
If they guy is right for you, he will find a way to work within your schedule constraints.
stop doing the square peg, round hole thing. If you want a man who will love and cherish your children, then date men who will love and cherish your children.
Certainly don't gamble with your and their future by dating a guy who doesn't want to be a father figure to your children and hope he changes his mind.
However I have to ask. Are you seriously interested in a man who doesn't want to be around your children ?
Crap...I Mean Crafts
Did you see something we didn't about how long she has been single or is she supposed to never date until her children are adults?
There is an air of desperation, of "I need to have a man in my life" to this. And that finding a man/ any man is more important than finding a man who will love her kids from the get-go.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
There is an air of desperation, of "I need to have a man in my life" to this. And that finding a man/ any man is more important than finding a man who will love her kids from the get-go.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
So really we know that she could have been single for any length of time ranging from five minutes to 2 years and 9 months. I think it's a reach to say she needs to forget about men and raise her kids with no further knowledge. Single parents are allowed to have relationships too.
Of course she shouldn't entertain the idea of getting involved with men who are not willing to accept all that comes with it, but that doesn't mean she's being a bad parent to want some adult companionship in her life too.
She's got two kids in diapers and wants advice on how to make a relationship last with men who are not interested in children. Time to stop focusing on men and look hard at herself and her children.
Yeah, not in this post, in her whole kids from broken homes are damaged goods and wounded doves just want to suck the life force from her little angels comments in the past.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I've already responded that my conclusion about sue_sue's position was based on more than just this post, so I'll assume you didn't see that due to timing.
Shes interested in a guy, she also says all these guys. One could just as easily infer that she's interested in having a guy (yet to be identified), not necessarily one specific guy.
Well thanks for not accurately relating my thoughts from previous posts, but that's not the issue here. She wants to date a guy, or several guys, it's not clear, who are not ready for/aren't interested in a woman with kids. One guy, she says, that she really likes. I think she needs to drop him, and focus on her kids for a while. The last thing they need, after mom and dad have split, is to have her hook up with some man who doesn't like kids/doesn't want kids even if he does like them generally.
I have been where you are now. I have one son, who is about to turn 11. When my relationship with his father ended (my son was an infant), my grandmother had told me that I shouldn't even consider dating until he was at least 10 years old. Of course, I didn't listen to that. I had a few relationships that lasted around a year or so, sometimes less. The problem I encountered most often was "i don't want to date someone with kids" or "i want to be able to have my own children someday, too" which was an issue for me since i had my tubes tied in 2003. I just always assumed if i had more kids it would be via adoption. It always seemed like a great alternative. My mom was adopted and it is something i would love to do. Apparently, either I had really bad luck choosing guys or that feeling of "carrying on the family name/bloodline" is more popular than i had originally assumed.
The best advice I can give is to let go of these guys that can't immediately accept/love/want your children. I just got married in March 2012. I have known my husband for 8+ years, although he was just a friend for the majority of that time. He has always known about my son and talked with him and asked about him whenever we talked. He is thrilled to have a step-son and the two are very close.
Ironically, in the end, my grandmother was right (although I won't tell her that!) My son was 10 when my now husband proposed and even helped him pick out my engagement ring. That is the kind of man you need in your children's lives.