May 2008 Weddings
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WWMay08Do?

So my H is going home to Ohio Memorial Day weekend. Originially I couldn't go,but that's the only weekend he had so he was going to go without me. Now I'm available to go, but I'm debating it.

My FIL smokes in the house and usually I just deal with it, but I just can't this time. He said he would not smoke in there the week before we come, but he's been smoking there since it was built in the 80s so I really don't think that will help.

We could go and stay at a hotel right up the road from them that's only $75/night for 3 nights. So we'd be looking at $300 with taxes and what not.

Technically we have the money, but H really doesn't want to spend it on that and I can see where he's coming from. My only hesitation is that I'm worried that his mom will be mad that I'm not coming up to see them while pregnant since I'm going to be going to my own home in September. She says it's fine, but I think she'll be keeping his one in her memory, if you know what I mean.

So WWYD? Go and stay in the house and deal with the ancient smoke smell? Go and stay in a hotel? OR just let H go by himself?

FWIW, his brother and the bird girl live in a 3 bedroom house by themselves and have no guest room furniture b/c they are quirky and would never, ever invite us to stay over there.

imageAlways Painted,Usually Chipped Disclaimer - This is not a nail polish blog.

Re: WWMay08Do?

  • One of the main reasons I don't stay at my own Dad's house when we visit is because of the smoke, even before I was pregnant.  I say get a hotel, everyone will get over it and it's money well spent (if you have it.)
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  • This has become a debate between H and I since my mom and step-dad smoke in their house.  This past weekend I told him to suck it up since we were only staying 1 night.

    I'd say in the future he'll fight more when our stays will be longer, so a motel will probably come into play.  For a 3 night weekend I'd probably go with the motel room since you have the money.  That smoke smells gets into everything you bring and it's awful.  Heck after our quick trip this weekend I had to wash all our clean stuff along with the dirty clothes.  Annoying! 

  • i would sit this one out and use the original excuse for why you can't go (if you haven't already told them that you're not able to).
    Me:39 Dx LPD, Fibroid, AMA and all that goes with that. H:37 Dx low motility and low morphology. TTC since 3/12. Clomid 8/12 and 9/12: BFN. 11/12 on a break for Myomectomy sched. 11/26. Resume TTC early 2013.
  • I'd probably go, assuming Dad's true to his word.  I get that the old smoke isn't fabulous, but IMO w/ fresh air circulation (springtime open windows/screendoors) and no active smoking, I think the bona fide health risks are likely minimal.

    I'm not a doctor and I haven't personally researched the specific issue of tar/nicotine, but from what I do know about exposure to lead, inert gases, and various other chemicals, I honestly don't think 72hrs in an area where there was previously smoke would have an appreciable effect on human health.

    Bottomline, I don't think there's a real risk; however, you know best and of course shouldn't be where you're uncomfortable.  GL!

    image
  • I wouldn't stay there.  Especially being pregnant.  I would spend the money on a hotel or not go at all.  
  • Oh and I should say, my concerns were not for health, but the smell would have made me sick while I was pregnant.
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  • If go for 2 nights and stay in the hotel and spend the 3 rd day out somewhere together. I have to be difficult huh?
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  • Tough one, Kare. I would probably stay at the house or maybe try to one night. If the smell gets to you, then head to the hotel. Unless they really wouldn't mind you staying at a hotel. Then I'd just book the hotel and go with that.
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  • Thanks for the input guys. We're still thinking about it at this point.

    I feel like even if he stops the smoking the smell is still going to bug me. Sleeping in the bed there makes me itch and taking a shower and using a "smoke" towel is miserable. I'm feeling fine being pregnant, so I'm not sure it would make a difference, but the thought of it just skeeves me out more than normal. 

    I think we're either going to go, see what it smells like and then hotel it if it's bad (the hotel is right down the street...and it will never, ever been booked. There's nothing to do in that city). OR H will just go and we'll say I had to work overall. 

    Just sucks that I'm not gonna want to have kids stay at the smoke house so from here on out every time we visit Ohio it will be like an extra $300 cost at minimum. Plus if we move near my parents next time it will also include a flight. We have the money now, but I'm sure once I SAHM our savings will go down and down and down. Ugh!

    imageAlways Painted,Usually Chipped Disclaimer - This is not a nail polish blog.
  • Personally, I'd stay at a hotel.  I can not stomach the smell of smoke, it makes me so sick.  I can understand not wanting to hurt their feelings too.  I avoid certain family members homes because the smell is too much for me.  Tough call!!  Maybe just go and sniff it out and if it's too bad head to the hotel.   

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