Hi. I only ever feel like a debby downer on here. Feel free to not read this. A girl just needs to type it out sometimes to people not irl.
- my blood work and all my tests came back normal. While this is good because there is "nothing wrong", simply being told everything is ok pisses me off too. Apparently there is no big change to take other than being preventative and I have to blindly go into another pregnancy. Great... I'm already terrified and I'm not even pregnant.
- why the h*ll am I not pregnant?!? They totally lied in sex education. I should have a football team worth of children by now. After all this, I'm never using a condom again. I'll save a fortune!
- for the one time only, I hate the fact that my pants fit and my tummy is flat (okay flat is not the word for that...). I should be 18 or 22 weeks pregnant. I miss that bloat. Someone asked if I lost weight (laughably no) and I was actually upset. I'd just about die for all that "bad stuff".
- why the h"ll does no one talk about pregnancy loss in our society!? I don't get it. I want everyone to know about my babies but DH doesn't so I have to stay quiet instead.
- I hate mothers day. I am an angry, pissed off, jealous person and I don't even care. Mess with me and I'll punch you in the uterus and call it karma.
Congratulations! You made it though my debby downer post. I don't need a hug. Just drink a martini with me and agree the world stinks...
Cheers!
Re: Ventish Ramblings...
I don't really have anything to offer. I can't imagine how frustrated you are.
Hugs.
Kate's Recipe Box || Relatively Bookish
I'm so sorry that you are dealing with all that. Definitely understandable that you are super frustrated that they didn't find anything, even though that is a good thing!
I know this isn't want you may want to hear but give yourself some time, don't rush yourself into another pregnancy unless you feel ready for it. I know from personal experience how hard a loss is, and really really hope that you may have your sticky baby soon!!! (HUGS)
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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I really hate that no one talks about pregnancy loss in society. It goes hand in hand with no announcing pregnancies until after 12 weeks. I get why people do it. But if more people talked about their losses then there would be a larger community and people wouldn't need to feel like they can't or shouldn't talk about it.
I think it's great that some celebrities like Guiliana and Bill Rancic talk about their miscarriages to bring it forward into people's attention.
Feel free to vent here any time. I know it must be hard too with so many babies and pregnancies around but I think this really is a great place to find support and we will never get tired of someone just needing to get things off their chest and vent.
*slides a dry martini your way*
I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time. You are right, talking about babies that didn't make it is somehow taboo in our society and I have always wondered how that affects the women dealing with that loss. Now that I know, feel free to vent.
Don't feel bad about being jealous or angry right now. You have a right to feel that way after everything you have been through. Give yourself time to grieve and really accept everything that has happened.
You are one tough chick.... you will make it through this and feel better eventually. Nobody expects you to be Susie Sunshine right now.
the wedding | the blog
I'm so sorry that you feel this way and for what you're going through! IMO you have every right to feel the way that you do.
I can see what you mean about people not talking about loss in our society. Yesterday my sister got a tattoo of her daughter's foot prints (lost by trisomy 18 at 38 weeks) on her arm. She posted it on facebook with the comment 'For our baby girl, forever in my arms'. It was so sweet, but I couldn't help but notice the fact that her picture got over 45 'likes' and only a handful of comments.
There isn't much I can add other than agreeing with the other girls. I'm glad you can come here to vent. I also wish that pregnancy loss could be talked about more openly. It wasn't until last year that DH found out his mother had two miscarriages after DH was born, one happening very late in the pregnancy. I felt terrible that MIL had never even felt comfortable talking to DH about it, when I know people always questioned why he was an only child.
Lots of hugs for you!
Hugs!! You are going through a really tough grieving process so feel free to vent away as much as possible.
I'm so sorry you didn't get a real answer from all of your tests.
It really is unfortunate how little pregnancy loss is talked about in general society. I'm also sorry that your DH isn't seeing eye to eye with you on the making it public part. I don't know if you watch vloggers on YouTube, but there are a lot of women who do talk about pregnancy loss on there, a whole supportive community for pregnancy loss.
I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs.
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)