Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Update on bullying post
We talked to my daughter last night over dinner. DH led the conversation by asking about her day and how school was, etc. Then he led into asking about the bus. Who does she sit with? Do they have assigned seats? Where does so and so sit? According to my kid, they don't sit next to each other and don't talk because they aren't friends. When we asked about why they weren't friends she said with a shrug, "I dunno. We just aren't." We asked it something happen and M said that the other girl didn't like her sister and didn't understand about her sister. We still aren't clear on this point.
So this morning I called this bus company and asked it there was a problem with my daughter on the bus. If there was I would like to fix it. The supervisor said that the mom called yesterday and made a complaint. I asked if any specifics were given and was told that, according to the mom, my daughter is teasing her daughter, "unmercifully." (!!!) The supervisor said that she talked to the bus driver. The driver said all the kids are assigned seats and that she doesn't know how the kids could be even talking as they don't sit next to each other. The driver said that she couldn't see M doing that.
I also put a call into the school. I asked if a complaint was lodged there as well. The prinicipal and assistant prinicipal both said they had no idea what I was talking about but would double check with the teachers. I think, based on the line of communication that is open, I would have heard.
Right now, I just want to get to the bottom of this. I don't want my daughter to be picking on anyone but I also don't want her accused of picking on a kid if she isn't.
Re: Update on bullying post
Only thing I can think of is if they are talking about this other girl and she is getting hurt by overhearing it. Lots of variables to consider, kwim? I think at this point you've definitely done your due diligence and if this mom wants to continue this line she's going to have to present something more concrete than just "teasing".
I was suspicious as soon as the mom said she had filed complaints with the school, but they hadn't heard anything about it.
This. What a bizarre situation. My thoughts are that the other girl is either lying or is much more sensitive to things that seem fairly benign to other kids, so the bullying seems very real to her even if your DD isn't necessarily doing anything out of line. How old are they again?
I can't get over that the school has no idea of any of this when the other mom swears she reported it. Does she have a written copy or specific names of the person (people) she spoke with?
Also that none of the staff at school or on the bus has registered any potential problems. I'd think it would be pretty rare for that sort of heavy bullying to go completely unnoticed by anyone. And wouldn't you figure if your DD had such a big problem with this other girl that she'd have mentioned her to you? That she doesn't like her, or something? From your posts yesterday it sounds like this girl wasn't even on your radar as either a friend or foe of your DD.
Ditto. I would say the other kid is lying at this point.
A trait the child potentially picked up from its mother.
Kid is telling mom something, mom is blowing it out of proportion (maybe mom was bullied?), and your girl is caught in the middle.
I'd say let the school handle it. Ask them to call in the two girls together and do some mediation. Don't they have a counselor at school? Then the third-party counselor can talk the other mom off the ledge. Sounds like she's going to be a real peach by the time middle school rolls around.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
I'm not convinced that the other one is "lying". You need to figure out the sister comment, I think that is your key to unlocking this mystery.
-Nancy Drew
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
I agree with this. The secret lies with Charlotte.
I think I missed the original. Did you talk directly with the other mom?
My son told another kid earlier this year, "I want to play alone, I don't want to play with you" and the other boy told his mom that my son was being mean and didn't want to be his friend and was very upset. I'm not sure I believe my kindergartener, but I also don't really believe the other little boy either. Long story short, the other mom called me and we talked with both of them together about being polite and respecting boundaries and since then feelings haven't been hurt again and the boys play together everyday now.
I'm just saying that without that other mom calling, we couldn't have known there were feelings hurt and without talking with both boys together, we couldn't have modeled that you are respectful of other people. Then again, if the other mom is causing drama, I'm guessing this technique of a unified front for the kids won't work (and I wouldn't want to try it if the other mom wasn't agreeable).
Are you united with the CCOKCs?
I don't think it's completely safe to assume that the other child is a liar.
I hope that you give us an update again, once you know more.
The sister is your other daughter, right? The bit about the girl not liking her makes me thing *something* happened between the girls. Maybe not bullying, maybe it was just a one time thing, but still something.