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What Happens When a Quiverfull Dad Becomes a Woman?

What Happens When a Quiverfull Dad Becomes a Woman?

The Quiverfull movement is an extreme Christian fundamentalist subculture that bans all birth control and encourages women to have as many children as possible. As such, you might not think that the story of a Quiverfull dad confiding in his wife that he wanted to switch sexes and begin living as a woman would end badly. In this case, at least, you'd be wrong.

The surprisingly sweet story begins with a woman named Melissa having a traditional courtship with her future husband. In this case, by "traditional," I mean "completely chaste and completely under parental supervision." When the two married, they'd never been intimate with anyone, and they lived the "traditional" lifestyle of a married couple in the Quiverfull movement ? she stayed home with the kids, he went off to a Christian seminary to study to be a minister, and together, they hoped to start a church for people who home schooled their kids.

But after awhile things, as things tend to do, got more complicated. Melissa's husband began sporadically confessing to having seen "bad stuff" on the internet. And one day, they watched an episode of Tyra together featuring a transgender fashion show, her husband seemed curiously knowledgable about the vocabulary and lingo of the participants. Some time later, Melissa's husband confessed that he had been reading a lot about transsexual people on the internet, and that he felt like he might be a "transsexual"; he'd always felt like he was born in the wrong body, had mourned not being able to be a mother, and coveted his sisters' long hair when he was young.

The two talked, and talked, and talked, and talked about what to do about her husband's dilemma. At this point, he was an ordained pastor and they had three children. She talked to a priest, who dismissed her husband's problem as a sexual disorder (he was an aggressive gay! He just wanted his own vagina to play with!) and she consulted the internet, discovering that her brand of Christianity believed that being transgender was caused by childhood trauma. Her husband had no such problem.

Instead of quashing his desire to present in a more feminine way, Melissa encouraged her husband to be the person he felt he should be. He grew his hair long, began working out, and began dressing differently. Meanwhile! Melissa realized that she'd always been sexually attracted to women, and that her husband's gender had no effect on the fact that she loved him. And also meanwhile! Church leaders noticed that her husband was carrying a purse around and wearing eyeliner and acting more feminine, which they attributed to satanic intervention. Melissa was over dudes, Melissa's husband was over being a dude, the church was over both of them, and they were over the church.

After much trepidation, Melissa's husband decided to begin living as a woman. And because Melissa is attracted to women and loves her spouse, they stayed together and Melissa came out as a lesbian and the two left the church. Melissa's spouse is now in beauty school, which she always wanted to do. Melissa's going to college, which is something she always wanted. Their four kids call The Artist Formerly Known as "Dad" "Dee" instead, and everyone's happy. Melissa and Dee are active in their local LGBTQ community.

Now if that's not a heartwarming Rom Com, I don't know what is.

 From: http://jezebel.com/5905780/what-happens-when-a-quiverfull-dad-becomes-a-woman

Their blog is here: http://ayoungmomsmusings.blogspot.com/2012/04/unwrapping-onion-introduction.html

Re: What Happens When a Quiverfull Dad Becomes a Woman?

  • Aww, that's really sweet.  I'm gonna check out the blog.
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  • emisiemisi member
    I... wow, I'm speechless.  That's pretty awesome, and totally not what I expected of a Quiverfull couple.  It does go to show that being that restrictive while growing up does prevent the kids from getting to know themselves completely, though.
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  • That's a lot to work through--I'm glad they were able to come to a solution that made them both happy. 
  • I didn't expect that! Cool 

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  • Wow. It's a very heartwarming story. I'm so glad they followed their hearts and remained true to each other rather than following what the "church" said.

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  • amazing story!  but damn this board for always introducing me to former QF blogs that I promptly get addicted to!
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  • I was raised Catholic, and I am agnostic now. But if there

    ia a god, I think he/she put these two together.

  • Aw, yay! I didn't expect that to have a happy ending. What a nice surprise!
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  • Awesome story.
    "If you can't say something nice, shut the hell up!"
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  • Wow, that worked out for everybody.  Awesome story.

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  • imageemisi:
    I... wow, I'm speechless.  That's pretty awesome, and totally not what I expected of a Quiverfull couple.  It does go to show that being that restrictive while growing up does prevent the kids from getting to know themselves completely, though.

    I totally agree that it's awesome, and while I don't even come close to believing like they do and it would be my opinion that sheltering kids to the point that they do is not the best choice, I don't think this is an example that proves that.  

    Most of the transgender people I've been exposed to (from an acquaintance to Chaz Bono, LOL) don't accept it or even explore it until they are far out of childhood.  So while this kind of upbringing wouldn't help such exploration, I don't think you can say that a more open upbringing would change things, KWIM?

     

  • I was following Melissa's serial on her blog. She and her wife are incredibly fortunate that their parents decided to match them.

    I wonder, though, if their parents think it was as good of a match as I do. Or if this "situation" would've been avoided if they'd matched them differently, or more godly or something.

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