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Withdrawing after the death of a parent?

Long story short- my dad died a month ago tomorrow. Now that the funeral is done and life is back to "normal" (whatever the hell that is now) I find myself not wanting to go out and socialize or engage in my normal hobbies.  The few friends I've gone out with since are also members of the dead dad's club.  I've also not been interested in my normal hobbies (Zumba, crafting, photography). 

 

My friendships have definitely suffered over the past 6 months as I've spent the majority of my free time (and not-so-free time) with my parents out of state, making memories while I could.  

 

DH and mom aren't expressing concerns with my lack of interest or engagement with the world around me yet, but I'm wondering how long something like this is "normal" vs signs I need to speak with a professional. 

Re: Withdrawing after the death of a parent?

  • To be honest with you there is no such thing as normal when it comes to grieving.  If you are worried about your lack of interest in life, then it's time to seek a professional.  To me it's early days, but it might still be a good thing for you to talk to a grief specialist to help you through these times.  
    image
  • Survivor's guilt, maybe.  I had it when my mother, brother, and father died.  I felt guilty going out and having fun when they weren't.  Sounds weird, but it was real. I would catch myself having a good time and it would hit me like a brick, as if I shouldn't be.

    It passed with time.

    Sorry about your loss. It's a rotten club to be in.

  • I'm so sorry for your loss SGT.

    It couldnt hurt to go talk to someone.

    f.k.a.= Derniermot
  • I think if you're listing classic depression symptoms and wondering when your family is going to start worrying about you, you already know you need help. 
  • I'm going to recommend you find a good grief counselor, and maybe a support group geared towards those who've experienced similar situations.  Sometimes just knowing that others have gone through what you're going through, that feeling of joined-ness, can really help.
  • If your having any sort of worry then you gotta get it off your chest. Whether it be to a professional or someone else. Stress isn't a good thing. It's better to get everything out in the open. It's hard but it helps. Losing my grandpa who was like a father to me was horrible. We were super close.

     

    To be honest I don't know a specific timeline that it takes. No one truly knows. It's all a difference of opinion

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I mean this in the nicest non snarky way possible but I have told you directly off the nest for awhile that you need to be in counseling.  From personal experience it will help with the grief of losing a parent but I think there are a lot of reasons it would be useful to you and this is only the most recent one.  After my mom died I just didn't feel like dealing with people and how to respond to their sympathy but I got back to going out and seeing people pretty quickly.  That said, it had been coming for years and I had been working through it for a long time before she actually passed.  And it will always come back in weird ways, I am not big on holidays and I keep getting all emotional about

    Mother day this year even though I was fine the last two.  And I still get kind of resentful when I talk to some of my friends and realize they have no clue what it feels like to lose a parent.

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
  • imagekellbell1919:

    I mean this in the nicest non snarky way possible but I have told you directly off the nest for awhile that you need to be in counseling.  From personal experience it will help with the grief of losing a parent but I think there are a lot of reasons it would be useful to you and this is only the most recent one.  After my mom died I just didn't feel like dealing with people and how to respond to their sympathy but I got back to going out and seeing people pretty quickly.  That said, it had been coming for years and I had been working through it for a long time before she actually passed.  And it will always come back in weird ways, I am not big on holidays and I keep getting all emotional about

    Mother day this year even though I was fine the last two.  And I still get kind of resentful when I talk to some of my friends and realize they have no clue what it feels like to lose a parent.

    Normally a lurker - I lost my dad 5 years ago and all of what you are feeling is normal - but I 100% agree with the above. 

    I didn't go to a grief counselor - but I did find a volunteer group that raises funding/awareness about the cancer that took my dad.  Through that I met a few very close friends that knew EXACTLY what I was going through and it was the best thing I ever did.

    Just the fact that you posted this, means you know you need outside help. 

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