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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
It's only a couple of days
My FI came home yesterday and said his boss asked him to come along on a business trip to NYC from Tues-Thurs. If he goes and all goes well, he will get a nice raise. The longest we've been apart was overnight when he was taking care of his disabled parents. He didn't want to go if he knew it would make me unhappy or uneasy because I usually have a lot going on and he didn't wanna leave me hanging and just say yes without talking to me first but it really isn't a problem so I told him to go ahead. It's not an issue but I'm really gonna miss him. It's gonna seem so weird with him gone. I don't know, I guess I just wish I could go with him. Anybody been in this situation before?
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Re: It's only a couple of days
My husband travels for work every month so I take the chance to use that time to do everything I enjoy without feeling selfish about it
I'm a military officer and so is DH. We've been apart for what totals to years! Currently we're going on 10 weeks apart. So sorry, I don't really get how 2-3 days could be so terrible for you. You'll survive. I swear!
There's also this awesome thing called Skype! I'm sure you will be just fine.
Just do some things for yourself. Work out, hang out with friends, do your nails, read a book.
Not to be rude, but I'm not seeing what the problem is here. You have to be apart from Tuesday to Thursday? Really?
I think it's great that you appreciate your FI, and that you'll miss him, but I wonder if perhaps you two are TOO dependent on each other. How is it possible you've never been apart more than 24 hours before? Honestly, the longer that you stay together, the more things will come up that require you to be apart, and it would probably be in both of your best interests to learn how to handle this a little more smoothly. Just last month, for example, I went out of state to have a girls' weekend with a few friends from college, and I didn't see my DH from Friday to Sunday. I missed him, of course, as I always do when we're apart, but I still had a great time, and I appreciated him all the more when I came back.
As a lot of the PP's on here have already suggested, find interesting ways to fill your time while he's away. Even though you guys are a couple, you still want to develop as individuals. This will make you both stronger, and that, in the end, will probably make your relationship stronger...it's a win win, all around.
And to add- your FI considered NOT going if you would have been upset? That is probably what gave me the most pause. You're a grown up. You should be able to handle being away for 2 nights and 3 days. If this event causes enough concern in your FI - I worry about the truly more serious things that life will throw at you down the road!
DH and I both go on business trips from time to time. It's normal to feel that it is weird being at home without him. But it's also good to be able to have some "me" time. It's very healthy for you and your FI to have some separate interests and be able to function well individually as well as a couple. It's also sometimes good to have the opportunity to miss your significant other for a short time. Then you will appreciate the time that you have together even more.
Tell him to have a great time and enjoy doing things entirely your own way for a few days!
Eh, 3 days is nothing. H and I were long distance for 1 year, 2 months before we married. I'd see him maybe 1-2 times a month for less than two days each time.
You'll be fine.
Wow really? Maybe I should point out to everyone that the reason he wanted to make sure that I wasn't gonna be upset is because I usually have a lot going on and he didn't wanna leave me hanging.
I'm too immature to be married? Wow just wow.
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I wouldn't say that you are immature just that you are way to codependant with your DH.
You need to loosen up and get used to real live as adults and as individual people. You are not attached at the hip.
(currently away from dh for 2 weeks as of today.)
What is your definition of "a lot going on?" Are you 38 weeks pregnant? Are you near death? Just busy with general life stuff?
Here's my take
1) your husband should go on the trip. Unless you have a matter of life or death on your hands, there isn't really a good reason he shouldn't go. He's going to be getting a promotion out of the deal - that alone is a good reason for him to go. 2) you should find some fun things to do by yourself while he's away. Eat cereal at the counter. Dance around your living room in your socks and underwear. Sleep in the middle of the bed. Who cares - just do something you don't get to do when it is the two of you and enjoy every second of it. 3) see someone about your apparent panic about being separated from your husband for 3 days. That is absolutely not healthy - or normal.
I certainly don't love that my husband travels for work sometimes but I cook things for myself that he won't eat, have my sisters over for total girly talk and movie night, etc. I find ways to enjoy my time spent apart from him. It isn't that I don't love him or miss him. I certainly do. But I also like having an excuse to indulge in a little "me" time.
Do you have an illness or disability where you cannot care for yourself?
My MIL has this issue-she hates it when FIL leaves for even a day or so. I do not understand it at all. Life sometimes means you might have to be apart.
OP-have you never lived alone? Do you have some kind of medical issue that makes it difficult for you to be alone? I'm asking because it is only a couple of days and I just can't see how this is a big deal.
There are tons of fun things you can do alone when your H isn't there. A random sample of things I do when H is out of town for work: read a good book for hours, watch trashy tv/movies, give myself a mani/pedi and a facial mask, blare music and dance around while cleaning up the house, work on my latest sewing project. The list could go on forever. I'm sure there is something you like to do that you haven't done in awhile. Take this time to do something nice for yourself.
I'm not paniced it's just feeling weird after being together so much that he's not gonna be here for a few days. And the reason he wanted to make sure I was okay is because I have finals in school this week, I work two jobs and he wanted to make sure I'd be able to have outside help which I do from my mom since I have a two year old. I am so proud of him for being asked to go because he has only been there a couple of months and he was the only one choosen from his department. If anything, I've discovered my son is taking it harder than I am. Every chance he gets he asks my FI if he can go with him.
I can appreciate him not wanting to leave you to handle everything, but that's the way the world works. Sometimes we have to do 100% of what needs to be done, sometimes it's split 50/50. Your post came across (to me, anyway) that you are going to have a difficult time just being apart. That screams immaturity to me.