Family Matters
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Wedding anniversaries
Just curious, do you acknowledge other people's wedding anniversaries, like parents/grandparents/friends? In general, I feel like the only people that celebrate a wedding anniversary or acknowledge it are the couple who got married, unless it is a milestone. That being said if I remember someone else's special day I will call/text/send a card, but I don't feel bad if I forget. Yesterday, it was DH's grandparents anniversary. His mother texted him to "remind" him. He's very close to his grandparents and talks to them several times a week. The day got away from him and he forgot to call. He felt really guilty last night and I told him it wasn't a big deal. What do you think?
Re: Wedding anniversaries
Tell him to call today instead then, I'm sure they'll appreciated it even if it wasn't on the exact day.
I think it's nice to remember parents anniversary's and siblings and close friends. for them I'll make sure to call or text. If I forgot my parents anniversary I would definitely feel bad. But every family is different and celebrates milestones differently. I don't think you can judge according to someone else.
I'm on the same page as you. I will send a card if I remember but it is really only important to the couple, not anyone else. It is nice to be remembered but I don't expect anyone to acknowledge our anniversary but us.
DH's family is sort of like your DH's. My ILs actually said to us "for our anniversary, you can get us a gift certificate to the B&B we're staying at so we can extend our trip another night". Uhh, no. Sorry. (and they don't get us anything for ours so I'm not sure why they're all about the double standard! *grin*)
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I always send my parents something on their anniversary. Usually something from the popcorn factory since they're usually up at their vacation house that week. Never over $50.
Anyone else, I don't remember their anniversary. I'm sure I'll remember my sister's once she gets married but that's it.
I try my best to remember to acknowledge anniversaries. My parents always give my DH and I a gift card to a restaurant...well they DID do that...last year they just gave us $$ and told us to pick the restaurant we wanted to go to!
I'll say/text/FB/etc "happy anniversary" if I remember, but unless it's a milestone, I don't really feel it's anyone's to celebrate but the couples.
Have him call today. Missing one day is better than missing entirely.
Do I feel obligated to wish others happy anniversary? No, but loving people (like your H loves his grandparents) means recognizing things that are important to them, even if you don't "have" to. When someone AW's on FB about their anniversary, I do congratulate them, and his grandparents should get the same even if they aren't on FB!
I would add - - if your H feels bad now, how is he going to feel if this is their LAST anniversary, b/c one of them passes?
Just call them up and wish them a happy day! It will take 60 seconds and make them happy.
I am one of six siblings. We always pool money for a nice gift for our parents' anniversary. We see ourselves as very lucky to have six of us who all get along and we attribute that to our parents, so this is our way of showing our appreciation. (I know - a little mushy)
I may or may not send an email to my siblings, unless it is a milestone anniversary, but I know the dates of each one.
DH sends a card to his parents. He tries to do something nice for their milestones, but his brother doesn't really get into it.
Neither of us have grandparents anymore.
If your husband feels bad, he should just call.
I text/FB if I remember for family & friends. If I forget, oh well.
It's nice when people remember, but it's definitely not required.
I wouldn't feel bad...not a big deal, IMO.
I don't remember or acknowledge too many anniversaries otehr than my own, and my favorite sister's.
When my grandparents were still alive I'd send them a card and stop by their house on or close to their anniversary. My father passed away when I was 12 so I don't have to do anything for my Mom. We have dinner with my DH's parents on or near their anniversary and get them a gift. We also send a card or do dinner with a few select friends for their anniversaries.
I'm still his grandparents would still appreciate a phone call today...
i call/text/email family members (sisters and mom). but i'm one of those people who remember dates really well. i don't think it's necessary to acknowledge anniversaries at all, really.
my mom and my in-laws (M/FIL and GMIL) give us a gift every year, even though we're not newlyweds anymore, which i think is incredibly generous and kind. we were married three days after Christmas, so it's not hard to remember, but i think it's completely unnecessary.
I usually send a card to my parents on their anniversary (if I remember), but if I forget one year, it is not a big deal.
I remember one aunt and uncle's anniversary every year, because I was born on their 1st wedding anniversary.