Trouble in Paradise
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If you were in this position...

What would you think?

Friend dates dude casually for 6 months.

Friend has "the talk" & the couple agrees to date exclusively.

Friend asks dude to go with her to get tested prior to getting busy. (her last BF gave her HPV & her health has been wonky ever since. She wants to be smarter this time around). Boyfriend is Luke-warm about testing idea but half-heatedly agrees. Won't  answer on when a good time to go have it done is.

Boyfriends room mate reports that he has a "female friend" spend the night in his room. Said girl that is a friend is now out to dinner with boyfriend. All of this is being reported by room mate to my friend.

My friend doesn't want to come off as a jealous psycho. I think this sounds shady as hell. What say you TIP?

I think he is cheating. 

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Re: If you were in this position...

  • Dating for 6 months with no sex? Do I have that right?

    I think all involved are crazy. That just ain't right.

  • I'm with fuss.

    And your friend is an odd duck anyway.



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  • imagefussbucket:

    Dating for 6 months with no sex? Do I have that right?

    I think all involved are crazy. That just ain't right.

    You are correct. I agree-- loco.

    She has been ready from day one, but he told her that he "goes slow" in relationships. I've been telling her that he is just not into her & she should move on. No, she has been willing to wait. I think he is being a shady douche.

    My feeling is that if a man is into you there should be considerable effort made to get into your pants. It seems like he is just cool to coast. It seems so bizarre to me & something is just not right. 

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  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    I'm with fuss.

    And your friend is an odd duck anyway.

    Yeah she is very strange. Loveable & sweet-- but very odd. 

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  • imagefussbucket:
    Gay.

    Hahaha!! I was leaning towards the same conclusion. ;) 

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  • If he doesn't get sex, what does he get out of this relationship? There has to be more. Money maybe.
  • imagepurplecaprii:
    If he doesn't get sex, what does he get out of this relationship? There has to be more. Money maybe.

     

    This is my question. If some other girl is spending the night with him, he's obviously at least somewhat interested in sex just apparently not with your friend. 

    I also find it weird that his roommate is running to her. Was she already friends with the roommate or something?

    Something's definitely not right.

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  • This entire situation sounds strange and not like something your friend should be staying involved with.

  • I don't think there's anything jealous or psychotic about thinking that this is a crappy dude.  But, I do have to disagree that there's anything strange about waiting six months to have sex with someone. 
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  • imagefeinicstine:

    This entire situation sounds strange and not like something your friend should be staying involved with.

    This is where I am. Telling her no to sex, but then having someone spend the night in his room, roommate calling to tell on the boyfriend. Everything just points to move it along to me. Heck, even the fact that she had to push the are you my boyfriend issue is sorta iffy to me.

    EDIT: And I agree with Kuus that there's nothing inherently wrong with not havin sex with someone you are casually dating. The whole situation though just stinks to me though.

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    And we're certain the room mate is just a shyt stirrer?
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  • imageReturnOfKuus:
    I don't think there's anything jealous or psychotic about thinking that this is a crappy dude.  But, I do have to disagree that there's anything strange about waiting six months to have sex with someone. 

    The waiting isn't strange, in and of itself.

    However, it is strange coupled with the rest of details in the OP:

    -'other girl' spending the night

    -guy and 'other girl' out to dinner

    -guy being hesitant to take a test

    This screams 'strange' and 'something just ain't right'.

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  • My question would be why is the roomate spilling the beans?

    Is the roomate male? Any idea if he has a thing for you? Because no guy's friend would be telling friend's gf this info unless he wanted to cause problems in the relationship. Weird.

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