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Facebook vent
I just need to vent about Facebook turning grown adults into children. What the heck is going on with this?!
Here's my deal. DH's family is very into eachothers business. I am more private but I married into this family and that is just the way they are and I have accepted that. I decided I need to start reducing my online footprint a bit (and yet here I am - I see the irony in this - believe me I do!) and started to scale back my friends list. My DH's best friend just doesn't need to know that I was happy my flowers started coming up in the garden and my high school music teacher doesn't need to know that DH got a promotion. However, I do want to share that with some people some of the time. I am not 100% ready to cut facebook off entirely but I'm getting there eventually.
So anyways, back to my point. I cut my friend list back a bit and DH's aunt emails his mother who emails me about how she doesn't understand why I'm angry with Aunt because I am not her friend on facebook anymore. What?! It isn't even remotely personal and last I checked, being facebook friends with my in laws wasn't a requirement. It certainly makes me wonder a little when people disappear from my wall and such but I wouldn't dream of involving a whole chain of people to find that out. It has never bothered me to the point that I had to ask someone in the first place. When did Facebook become the new elementary school playground where you send your best friend over to find out of a boy likes you?
I'm annoyed I have to defend my choice for "less is more". Is that so bad? *sigh* I just needed to vent and get it out. Feel better already.
Re: Facebook vent
Honestly, I love and hate Facebook.
Being stationed overseas, FB is the BEST thing ever for keeping in touch with people. But my P-A MIL loves to use it to...well make passive Agressive comments on my posts.
So I just severely limited what she gets. So she has to go directly to my page to see what is up or I have to go directly to her. But she doesn't get my updates.
That has pretty much eliminated her commentary unless I tag DH in something. But then if she makes a P-A comment, it's immediately seen by him...and he puts her in her place publicly.
This. If you know how facebook works you should know that some people will be offended if you keep facebook but drop them from your facebook list (especially family).
Side note: I find it weird that you would delete your H's best friend? Isn't he a close friend of yours too through your H?
If you don't want certain people seeing your page, then just restrict what they can see.
Yep - I don't friend family, and if I have in the past I have now put them on restricted view.
Nope - definitely not a good friend of mine through DH. He's a classic male chauvinist and I have no desire to spend any time with him whatsoever. DH, who has been friends with him since elementary school, is welcome to hang out with him (and he does) but I want no part of it. It works out for us - DH gets some guy time in and I get to not spend time with someone I find extremely unpleasant.
I haven't friended my aunt b/c everything that goes on has to be about her, and I have no interest in her life or her commenting on how anything that happens in my life is "X" in relation to hers. Of course, she knows I haven't "friended" her (and is not friending me) and it is an issue. F - she can friend me if she wants and I will put her on restricted view, but I will not make the overture.
I have hundreds of friends, but I don't need them all to see each status update. What I did, so that I don't have to defriend anyone, is I created a group called "Close Friends and Family" and made it so my status updates are set to share to this group of, say, 70 people. (One in a blue moon I'll share a status update to all friends on my list.)
Before, when my status upates were automatically shared with my entire friend list, I had an aunt who would put negative comments on everything (though in her mind she probably thought she was being funny). She's not included in my new group "Close Friends and Family", so she doesn't see 95% of my status updates. She just assumes I don't go on Facebook much anymore. Thankfully I don't get along well with her kids (my cousins) either, so they are also excluded from seeing my status updates as well.
It can sound complicated, but really you would have saved yourself a ton of unnecessary drama if you had gone this route instead of defriending people. If I were you, I'd friend back your aunt, and change your settings so that she doesn't see your status updates.
I am getting really sick of FB for many reasons...the main one is that people put stuff out there and then get upset of someone disagrees or makes a comment to the contrary. Also, does anyone really have 1,000 plus friends? Really? I have short list and restricted settings. I think I spend about an hour a week on it,
My brother lives OOS and is DS's Godfather. FB is a nice way for him to see pics of DS and for us to stay up to date with what's happening with eachother in between phone calls and visits, etc. Otherwise, little use for it.
<sigh> I could have written this myself! My inlaws are exactly the same way.. and i recently decided to scale back on the drama, so i cut my friend list back too...
I would say, you aren't required to "defend" your friend list. you can be friends with whoever you want, just because you are blood, or married to whomever, doesn't give them license to automatically have full access to your life (FB or not).
honestly? i wouldn't sweat it, and just let the drama roll on by. but i'm DONE with family drama on my end, so take my $0.02 with a grain of salt.
GL