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Trouble "living in the moment"?
Hi...
I used to be a more spontaneous person, and outgoing, and when I picture myself I still see those things. However, more and more I have found myself becoming the kind of person that needs to make plans ahead of time and know what to expect, and be able to "wrap my head around" an idea before it happens. I don't know why this is happening, maybe b/c I'm getting older, b/c my mom is really bad in this way. But it is starting to ruin my life!! Example, last night hubby and I were watching a fave tv show and he started touching me. I freaked out b/c I did not want to have sex, not in the mood, felt pressured at the idea of having to have sex when I didn't want to, freaked out about disappointing him, and so I moved away and he got upset. I explained to him my thought process and he said "I just wanted to touch you. That's all." This is actually the second time this has happened and this is partly due to me having a very low sex drive, and hubby does not do much foreplay anymore so I freak out about having sex and having to fake pleasure. I know I know, so much rolled into one post and there are multiple issues...
But they all seem to come down to me having trouble living in the moment.
Proud Newbie Gardener
Re: Trouble &quot;living in the moment&quot;?
IMO the sex issue could be better if you communicated with him about foreplay. If my H was bad at foreplay I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be in the mindset/look forward to it either. Also, why do you have a low sex drive? Is it something fixable like being on the wrong BC? Have you talked to your Dr about it?
I second this heartily.
I also second communication.
2 fold problem:
Find out why you have a low sex drive; don't sit on this issue --- maybe it's your BC or other meds or maybe it's a physically organic reason: thyroid issue, hormone issue --- only your doc can determine what's wrong.
Why haven't you told your H "Honey, you're really hot and sex with you would be hotter if we added more foreplay." How could he resist a deal like this?:)
You can also slow down the action yourself; do different things to interrupt the pace a bit until you're ready for penetration.
A touch or a caress need not be an invitation or precursor to sex.:) I'm all for affection and this is probably where it was at. No wonder the gent is offended.
Proud Newbie Gardener
Why suffer over this? Life's too short.:)
(Fixable, whatever it is. YOur doc can prescribe something else or if it's thyroid or hormonal, you'll be back to good as new before too long)