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Family vent

I was talking to my mom today and she asked for my opinion about something my brother asked her. My brother and his wife want to buy a house, but their credit is in the crapper right now (that kind of happens when you have over 6 credit cards maxed out and had a car repo'd). He said they do have the money for a down payment, but they won't be able to qualify for a home morgage loan. He asked if my parents would take out another morgage and get this house for them. They would supply the down payment and pay my parents the morgage amount each month. And then when their credit is back to normal they'll take over the morgage of the house.

Obviously, I told my mom to not do this because it's an awful idea. My brother and SIL are really irresponsible with money and I know that their credit will never recover. She also told my dad that she took credit cards out in her father's name so she could help him pay for things. I don't buy this for a minute and I'm afraid that she would try to do this to my parents. I told my mom to tell them that they are not financially able to help them out right now.

My mom always feels like she needs to help my brother, but she has been burned by them so many times. I feel bad for my brother, but this is the life and the decisions that he has made. I think if he has the money for a down payment then he needs to use that to better thier credit so maybe one day they can buy a house on their own.

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Re: Family vent

  • Uh, yeah, if your mom has been burned by them already, then she should already know not to entertain this idea. What is her plan when they don't pay. Can she cover the payments (she'll have to). Will she kick them out? Will she sell it against their wishes (despite the inevitable guilt trip about rendering them homeless)? This can't end well. 
  • I totally agree with you. I hope your mom takes your advice!
  • See, I am such a cold hearted beyatch and this is reason #1 I should not have children.  Parents really seem to "favor" the kid that has issues and "want to help them out" even if the parents know it will end badly and I DO NOT GET IT.  I think it has more to do with the parents not wanting their child to be a waste of space because that reflects badly on THEM as parents but...good Lord.  I guess I would get more joy out of seeing my child do something WITHOUT my help than to continue to write checks that won't do any good. 

    As you are all aware, DH's parents *constantly* give SIL money - they even helped finance her new $250k house and although there is a part of me that is really jealous (let's face it, if they can help her buy a house like that, surely they could have paid for DH's law school?) there is another part of me that makes me feel really sorry for them in that they couldn't parent "better" - meaning, to teach her patience and that things like that come to those that work really hard and have earned it yada yada.

    I digress.  Ami, your mom knows it isn't right to do that for them, which is probably why she mentioned it to you.  Ultimately, it is her decision - let's hope she makes the right one.

  • Yikes.  I hope your mom makes the right decision and doesn't end up getting burned again!  And if they have enough money for a down payment, why aren't they using that money toward their CC debt instead of buying a house they can't afford??  I will never understand some people....
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  • imagedrillerswife:
    Yikes.  I hope your mom makes the right decision and doesn't end up getting burned again!  And if they have enough money for a down payment, why aren't they using that money toward their CC debt instead of buying a house they can't afford??  I will never understand some people....

    I have no idea! But apparently what they consider a "good down payment" is $1000. I'm thinking that could pay off maybe one of their credit cards.

    My dad talked to them last night and said they weren't in the position right now to help them. He said my SIL was understanding. We'll see......

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  • imageamidavey06:

    imagedrillerswife:
    Yikes.  I hope your mom makes the right decision and doesn't end up getting burned again!  And if they have enough money for a down payment, why aren't they using that money toward their CC debt instead of buying a house they can't afford??  I will never understand some people....

    I have no idea! But apparently what they consider a "good down payment" is $1000. I'm thinking that could pay off maybe one of their credit cards.

    My dad talked to them last night and said they weren't in the position right now to help them. He said my SIL was understanding. We'll see......

    I'm glad your parents aren't "helping" them buy a house!

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  • I'm glad they're not, either, because that just sounded like all sorts of trouble. I can see that going bad quickly, and that would suck if your parents were trapped.
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  • imageamidavey06:

    imagedrillerswife:
    Yikes.  I hope your mom makes the right decision and doesn't end up getting burned again!  And if they have enough money for a down payment, why aren't they using that money toward their CC debt instead of buying a house they can't afford??  I will never understand some people....

    I have no idea! But apparently what they consider a "good down payment" is $1000. I'm thinking that could pay off maybe one of their credit cards.

    My dad talked to them last night and said they weren't in the position right now to help them. He said my SIL was understanding. We'll see......

    Yes  Now that your parents have said no, I hope your brother and SIL back off of them!
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  • Glad your parents made the right choice...that is definitely a hellz to the nah situation.
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  • Yikes! Glad your parents told them no.
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