Playing on the computer....:-/

Re: Playing on the computer....:-/

• RubyRed310

  May 2012

  Do you think he would be open to having set "computer time" and set "couple time". I know that I love being on my computer and my H likes being on his tablet and what not but we always make a time where we put down all of our electronics and do something together. Maybe if he knew that the times were planned and he still knew he would have his computer time but you would get your couple time. I also know that when I get home from work the last thing I want is snuggling on the couch...give him some time to decompress when he gets home (his computer time) and then in an hour can be your snuggling "couple time". Just a suggestion that works in our house. Hope it gets better!

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• julieandjojo member

  

  May 2012

  I have the same situation with my husband, however it hasn't been a problem for me. I'm not saying it's not a problem for you, please don't take it that way, but basically I knew this about my husband and have just learned to accept it. My husband works long hours, second shift, at a very stressful job. Whenever I try to have couple time too soon after a shift or a series of long shifts, we always fight. I have learned that he needs the time to decompress. So it sucks sometimes but if he has 3 days off, he usually sleeps almost all of 1 day, does his thing the next day for like half or 3/4 of the day, and then we have 1 day together. It sounds lonely but once I started busying myself with my own hobbies it got much more bearable. So to be honest the only advice I can give is to find or get back in touch with your hobbies and use his decompressing time as a time to enjoy those things for yourself. As soon as he is ready he will be really happy to spend time with you. But if you keep pushing it you will probably keep fighting.
  

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• modernfairytale8709

  May 2012

  I used to have a similar situation with my husband and his xbox. He works an earlier shift than me, and gets home about 2 hours before me. It would bother me that I would walk in the door every night to him playing his game online with his friends, while I would have to go right to the kitchen and start supper after my long day. 

  We used to have huge, blow-up arguments about it. Then one day I just decided I wasn't going to say anything, or do anything, about him playing his xbox. I came to realize it was something that he enjoyed, it didn't cost much, he was at home, not out doing who knows what with god knows who, and I just accepted it.

   Know what happened? A week after I stopped nagging, and pouting that we he wasn't spending time with me, I came home one night from work and the xbox wasn't on. And my DH sat in the kitchen with me the whole time I was making supper and told me all about how his day at work was.

   It sounds to me like you want your DH to trade his comp. time for time spent doing something only you want to do. Watching movies may not relax him the same way it does you, and after a long night at work, he may just need to wind down the best way he can. 

  I would start slowly. Pick one day of the week that is reserved for movies & cuddling. But I would suggest talking and cuddling, because you are actually helping your relationship to grow instead of just sitting on the same sofa, watching the same thing on tv. 

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• SilkySmooth656

  May 2012

  Thank you. This helps me a lot. We have only been married for a couple of months. We just need to get used to the fact that it just isn't one of us but two of us. We actually talked about it and came up with a great idea!! And so far it is working :-)

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• NoeKenn

  May 2012

  I had a similar situation with hubby but I just sat down and discussed it CALMLY with him letting him know that I would like a little more of his time and so would his family and friends.I felt that his behavior was bordering on an internet addiction. He thought about it then actually took it upon himself to pack up his laptop and ipad and send them to his moms house. Drastic but worth it, we've grown so much closer, going on more dates and hanging with other couples and he is getting back in to the outdoor activites that he loves. We still have another laptop in the house (mine) but since I dont have any cool games on it or anything he doesnt use it much. He told me the other day that he feels like himself again, so I say communicate your needs to him and he may surprise you.

  

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• jazzycazy

  July 2012

  Am I the only lady on here who likes playing computer games as well? My hubby and I find "co-op" games where we can play together. I played computer games a lot when I was a kid so I'm into them, but like a previous poster said, I think if you stop nagging, you'll find he spends more time with you.

  Believe me every game gets boring eventually!!

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