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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
What to do to get the ex back
I have posted on here before about my issue but trying again. My fiance and I tried to get pregnat for two years and nothing. He bacame a Deputy sheriff we had to move and he decided I was not right for him anymore. A month after I moved out he had second thoughts about us and said he wanted to try us again just slow.. Well a few weeks after us seeing each other I find out im pregnant and his response to me was there is no way you could not get prgnant for two years how now. At first it was just this child will not bring us together. Now he has no contact with me at all and wants nothing to do with me or the baby. He does not believe it his child for one and that hurts more than anything. he also said he does not have to do anything until Decemeber when Im due ... It just so hard I have had two ultrasounds now with out him there he is missing so much. I just dont know what to do anymore just need ssome guidance because everyday is a fight to get up and move on... I only do because the little miricale I have growing but the little needs both parents !!!
Re: What to do to get the ex back
Contact a lawyer and set-up a custody/visitation agreement and child support payments. The good news is that as a Sherriff, his wages can be garnished if he doesn't pay - and he'll have incentive to keep his record clean for the sake of his job/career. Make arrangements to name him as the father, but use your own last name on the birth certificate.
He's left you and he's abandon you during your pregnancy. For the sake of your child, face it.
If you are not in the position to raise a child, contact a good adoption agency and make arrangments for a loving and eager couple. This sounds like a difficult time. It is very important that you take good care of yourself - eat, get enough sleep and confide in someone that has the ability to be supportive. At a time like this, it's very easy to run yourself down and get sick - you must not let that happen. Take care of yourself both mentally and physically.
Wow, what a louse.
What a complete and total louse he is.
Bast on the fact that he has falsely accused you of something, forget it --- you want a guy at this horrible expense?
And he is not exactly welcoming at the idea of you bearing his child; he has falsely denied his fatherhood --- this guy is a father biologically but NOT a dad. It's like that corny saying goes -- and it is true --- "any man can be a father but it takes a special guy to be a dad". This guy is NOT a dad.
Good riddance to bad rubbish.
What you need to do:
IF he demands a paternity test, gladly sit for it --- and get child support from this guy. See a lawyer and make sure he pays up. He cannot get off free and clear on this one.
Sure, a kiddo needs both parents. I am not so sure he'll be your ace in the hole once all proves out that he is the father.Don't even count on him.
He's emotionally checked out of the relationship and not to mention he's treated you like dirt. WHYYY do you want him back??? Because you think a kid should be with 2 parents, even if the father doesn't give a sh!t about you or the kid?? Forget it.
The PP has excellent advice. Make sure you get your prenatal care and take care of yourself and the kiddo -- and if you are in no financial position to raise the child there are scores of couples who'd gladly and joyfully welcome adopting your infant. Give your child the best possible life that he or she can have.
The horse is out of the barn here but you have learned a cold hard lesson: don't conceive a child unless you're married to the guy -- and only then, plan on a family once your marriage has legs to stand on.
You were with him for a few years (or more), 2 of them as his afianced, and you hadn't married? What in tarnation was he waiting for? That alone doesn't sound like he was doing the right thing by you.
Good luck.
unfortunately, i know exactly what you're going through. the father of my baby and i were best friends for 10 years and he finally convinced me to date him and see where it went. three months later he sent me a text saying he didnt want to be together and cut me out of his life. i found out later it was because he was seeing another girl. i got pregnant literally the last time we were together. things happen for a reason though and you have to realize its better that he show his true colors early on than you depending on him your entire pregnancy and he leaves when the baby comes. at least now you can learn to be a strong, independant single mom. i know its really difficult to go to appointments alone but just stay positive and consider this baby nothing but a blessing that you get to enjoy all to yourself. i grew up in a single parent home and its not the worst that can happen to your child. stay strong and if you need someone to vent to ... im here for ya ((:
Do not try to get your ex back or take him back if he asks you to! He is an a$$hole. You and your baby deserve better.
I agree with pp about looking into adoption or getting all the ducks in a row to get him to support your baby financially. Take a paternity test gladly if it gets your baby what he or she needs.
GL to you.
Do not try to "get him back" - he has made it clear he wants nothing to do with you or your baby.
Talk to child support services, fill out the paperwork, so once the child is born, he will need to start making support payments. If he fights on that, then he will have to submit to a paternity test. I would also consult with an attorney that specializes in family law such as this. Check with your employer about EAP (employee assistance programs) - they offer free counseling services for many situations, single parenting is just one from a long list. Many offer 5 free sessions per type, per year.
Make sure you list him as the father on the birth certificate, but as PPs said, give the baby your last name.
I wish you the best of everything as you move forward.
He needs to man-up and accept responsibility, at least financially.
I really can't imagine how hard this is for you, but it may be harder with the added stress of his total BS. I hope he grows up soon, because this doesn't sound like a person you need back right now.
My DH bears the distinction of being the only ex-boyfriend I've ever had who I decided to give a second shot to. The difference here, though, is that my DH and I dated for a brief time when we were 21 and stupid (not saying that all 21 year olds are, but we certainly were) and got back together 8 years later after a lot of growing on both our parts.
You're right, OP- kids do need both parents. But kids only need both parents if the mother is willing to be a mother and a father is willing to be a father. TBH, it's better for your baby to not have his/her father in his/her life if your ex is categorically denying that the child is even his. It's a lot healthier for a kid for his parents to be apart (at least in some cases) than it is for his parents to be together.
You keep referring to your ex as a father. He isn't. He's a donor. I agree with PPs- if you decide to raise this baby, get a DNA test, get his name on the birth certificate, but give your baby your last name. Your ex hasn't earned the privilege. If you decide you can't raise the baby, start contacting adoption agencies.
You can do this. You really can. Just don't expect your ex to suddenly change his personality once this baby is born. He won't.
You need to relax, He does NOT deserve you!!
I would tell him to come to the hospital when the childs born so there can be a paternity test done! i am shocked that a Sheriff is acting this way, i would humiliate him!!!
You don't need a man to raise your baby, you will do just fine! like someone said before its better it happened now then later on in your pregnancy
then by the time the babies born and the paternity test comes back and hes begging you to come back youll be strong enough (hopefully) to say NO! and stay on your own