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Clicky: Friends & Income

After we built our house, one of my good friends who lives in another city came over to check it out. After walking around for a while she said, "Wow! How much did you pay for your house?" I was kind of caught off guard so I just told her. Later H said, "why did you tell her? It's none of her business!" Which I guess is true, I just didn't think it was a big deal. Anyway, that made me think of this question...
[Poll]

Re: Clicky: Friends & Income

  • Tell her husband that ALL of that information is online - a picture of your house, how much you paid for it AND your loan amount. Surprise
  • I would share financial details with my very closest friends, but only because we're the poorest of the bunch :) That feels different for some reason.
  • Well, my friends and I all work together and have similar incomes...so, why not?

    As for H's income, I don't think he's shy about it. I've never understood much the big secret about it all. 

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  • image+PuppyWuppy+:
    Tell her husband that ALL of that information is online - a picture of your house, how much you paid for it AND your loan amount. Surprise
    Yeah, I definitely know how much all my friends paid for their homes, b/c I'm nosy like that. No need to ask them, though! Smile Puppy, how do you find loan amounts? I just always go to the county assessor site...what am I missing?
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  • image5thOfJuly:
    I would share financial details with my very closest friends, but only because we're the poorest of the bunch :) That feels different for some reason.
    Yeah, that's where we've been for the entirety of married life. I agree--feels different. Now that H is out of school, people have a pretty good idea of the starting salary for a PA anyways. And my teaching income is public info.
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  • imagellizzyb:
    image+PuppyWuppy+:
    Tell her husband that ALL of that information is online - a picture of your house, how much you paid for it AND your loan amount. Surprise
    Yeah, I definitely know how much all my friends paid for their homes, b/c I'm nosy like that. No need to ask them, though! Smile Puppy, how do you find loan amounts? I just always go to the county assessor site...what am I missing?

    Exactly. I am nosy too. ;) 

    I have no qualms about discussing financial info with close friends. It's probably not something I'd volunteer to tell a person who's just an acquaintance, though. 


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  • I am surprised by this. I would not tell someone, even a very good friend, how much money I make.

    I will make comments to Snowful like "My VISA card is screeching, I have to stop shopping."  But that could mean I owe $500, $5,000 or $20,000 - who knows?

  • image+PuppyWuppy+:

    I am surprised by this. I would not tell someone, even a very good friend, how much money I make.

    I will make comments to Snowful like "My VISA card is screeching, I have to stop shopping."  But that could mean I owe $500, $5,000 or $20,000 - who knows?

    I'm pretty surprised too! 

  • I've discussed it with a couple of my very close friends, but mainly because they're curious as to how the whole military pay system works. I definitely wouldn't volunteer that information to any random person.

    Although, I think my salary is public information since I work for a state institution...and if people really wanted to, they could figure out H's salary based on his pay grade, plus BAH, and get pretty close to how much he brings home a month...

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  • I have no problem telling people how much we paid for a house, car, etc (especially if it was a bargain!). It doesn't bother me if a friend asked me how much money my or H's job makes...like PP, teacher's base pay is public knowledge (as is the knowledge that we're not highly paid :0). Also, if someone who was interested in the career field or moving to my district, and asked how much we start out, I have no problem telling. You can generally tell if someone is asking for general knowledge or trying to be judge-y. 

    The only "woah, kinda rude" moment I had was when a young couple moved in next door to us in OK, they were like "yeah, few pleasantries, oh BTW, what did you pay for your house?" This was the first time I meet them.  

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  • Yeah, both mine and Kevin's pay tables are public information, so I have no qualms about answering that question. I know what all of my coworkers make, my boss, etc, so it doesn't seem all that weird. 

    Also, I think salary is no real indicator of financial situation honestly. it's all relative to your spending habits and debt. 

  • My best friend knows how much we make, but that's it.  I wouldn't tell anyone else because H isn't comfortable discussing financial stuff with anyone.  I want to respect that, so I don't talk about it even when I've been asked.  I think it's a rude, nosy question.  I never have understood why people are so concerned about others' info.  I mean damn, you just do you.  Who cares about the rest?
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  • That said, I don't think any of my friends has EVER asked how much I paid for something (well, something that costs more than a couple of hundred dollars, anyway. They may say something like. "I love those shoes! Where did you get them? Oh! How much are they" if they want a pair) or how much we earn. People say to DH all of the time that "it must be nice to have a sugar momma" and we set them straight by explaining that he outearns me by quite a bit, in part so that people in Oklahoma, at least, understood that there's not really any such thing as the "lazy, fatcat professor" in most fields.
  • People always ask me how come I work since DH is an attorney.

    After I stop p!ssing my pants from laughing so hard I explain that no law school I know of gives a kid a $1mm check as soon as they pass the bar. I mean, seriously, people. Rude.

  • image+PuppyWuppy+:

    People always ask me how come I work since DH is an attorney.

    After I stop p!ssing my pants from laughing so hard I explain that no law school I know of gives a kid a $1mm check as soon as they pass the bar. I mean, seriously, people. Rude.

    lol People really are deluded about how much attorneys make, especially the first few years out of law school! My students are convinced that H must bring home tons of money, until they ask me where I got that cute sweater or flats, and I tell them Ross or Payless :P 

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  • image+PuppyWuppy+:

    People always ask me how come I work since DH is an attorney.

    After I stop p!ssing my pants from laughing so hard I explain that no law school I know of gives a kid a $1mm check as soon as they pass the bar. I mean, seriously, people. Rude.

    Lol.  This assumption always cracks me up. People forget that most people with advanced degrees had to spend a lot of money and years of lost income to get those degrees.

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  • imagellizzyb:
    image+PuppyWuppy+:

    People always ask me how come I work since DH is an attorney.

    After I stop p!ssing my pants from laughing so hard I explain that no law school I know of gives a kid a $1mm check as soon as they pass the bar. I mean, seriously, people. Rude.

    Lol.  This assumption always cracks me up. People forget that most people with advanced degrees had to spend a lot of money and years of lost income to get those degrees.

    Not to mention, I had been in the workforce for about 8 years when he graduated.  Lord.

  • I've had a few people ask me how much I make. I don't really mind. I think people are just curious to know what someone in my profession earns. They either think I'm below a nurse or equal with a doctor. Which is funny in both cases. I did have one friend ask how much my house cost. And then she asked how much my mortgage was a month. And then she got really confused. Poor thing had no concept of how much a good down payment helps. That conversation got awkward!
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  • I don't think I've ever told my friends exactly what I make, but I'm willing to discuss at least generalities with a few close friends if they ask. I've compared specific starting salaries and yearly bonus with one good friend, but we work in the same industry.

    When caught off guard, a good response I've heard before is, "Oh, I make somewhere between plenty and never enough."

    Confession: I've looked up coworkers houses on the county assessor's site. I was surprised to learn that my boss' house is worth a lot more than his boss' house.

     

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  • I don't have a problem telling someone my salary, since it's public knowledge, but DH is very private about income/all things finance-related.  If a close friend asked I'd probably give them a ballpark idea, but I'd also ask them why they wanted to know.  

    After we bought my truck my mom asked how much our payments were (no, we didn't pay cash *gasp* haha).  That really caught me off guard....
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  • I do not openly talk about our financials. They can be found easily as they are public record. When C and I bought a brand new truck back in 09 two of my close "friends" went around asking how we could afford it; when it all came to a head and I had my feel of it I explained to them that we both do work and that my H was doing pretty well AND that when they started paying my bills they could ask questions. Pissed me off big time! I don't ask them about there income or stuff they buy; if they want me to know they will tell me. 
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