May 2012 Weddings
carlowgirl10
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
depressed about *friends* not coming to the wedding
is anyone else having a hard time talking to friends who RSVPd yes to the wedding and didnt show up..and had no reason not to?
some ppl havent spoken to me since they RSVPd...and its just heart breaking because they were really good friends...and it hurts that they missed my big day...i understand things come up...but at least tell me....idk..the one girl was supposed to be my 2nd photographer (she is in school for it so i wanted to help her out to get experience)..and she doesnt show up to the wedding...
Re: depressed about *friends* not coming to the wedding
I hear ya. We had about 6 people not show up to the wedding total who either no-showed completely or let me know the day of or day before. Our wedding was $80-$85 a person depending on what they picked to eat......yeah. If I think too much about this my head will explode.
One of the people who didn't show up was a mutual friend of H and I. Been friends for 6 years, I now work with him, etc. He was supposed to do a READING in the wedding. His wife did have a baby 6 days beforehand, I'll give them that. Mom & baby were healthy & at home, but he couldn't drive 10 minutes from his house to the chapel and stay 35 minutes for the ceremony and to do the reading. I understand not coming to the reception at all, but seriously....no excuse, "well, my wife had a baby almost a week ago..." doesn't cut it!!!
I was sad about the people who couldn't come because they mean so much. But most of them had a good enough excuse that I understood.
I am actually more upset because I had a wedding crasher and I get so aggravated thinking about it. H has a childhood friend that he never really got along with, but who thinks that H is one of his best friends (he's really immature). H and I decided to not invite him to the wedding for a variety of reasons such as the fact he would drag the attention from fun to awkward because he hates the idea of anyone growing up and moving on and because he has a crush on one of my friends who is engaged to be married in a few weeks, but he continues to pursue her and I told her he would not be there.
Flash forward to our wedding day. We had been keeping it on down low about where the wedding was and everything and trying to ignore his incessant badgering on facebook about why he was not invited. My younger cousin waves me over and says "Remember that guy you told me to not let in if he showed up? Well, he snuck past me and he's sitting right there."
My H told me to not let it get to me and to just move on. But you could have cut the tension with a knife when I got to the table and saw him there. Apparently some of H's friends told him where and when the wedding was. One of H's friend's father was suppose to be there and had to back off at the last second so this awkward guy took his place without asking anyone but H's friend.
I ignored him the entire night in hopes of trying to enjoy my day without drama, but now it drives me nuts just thinking about it because it was probably one of the rudest things I can ever remember happening to me.
Anyone else with a rude story on their wedding day? Am I crazy for being angry still?
We didn't have any no-shows, since it was a destination wedding. However, the only friend I invited never even RSVP'd. She had had a baby when the invites went out and I knew she wouldn't be able to come because the baby was only a month or so old, and she would have had to travel from Denver. I was, obviously, fine with her not coming. But what upsets me was that she never acknowledged the wedding. I didn't expect a gift, but maybe a nice card or even a text to congratulate us. When she married, I texted her. When she had a baby, I texted her and sent a gift with a card. It was heartbreaking to not get any response from her.
We had a lot of people RSVP yes and then not show. a few had good excuses but most didn't. Also we had several issues come up at the wedding which in turned made me super mad.
The best man did not show up to the reception. His son one of the ring bearers got sick the day of and since best man and his son came to town without his wife (she's in school) best mans mom was unable to come to the wedding. His dad came but then none of them came to the reception. Also best man was supposed to give a speech.
H's stepmom was also supposed to give a speech and they left the reception about 10 min after we got there. We ended up with no one giving a speech and no one informed the DJ so when he annonuced it was time for the speeches it upset me because it became so obvious that people had already started to bail.
Our photographer ended up giving a speech thank goodness she's my aunt so it wasn't like a total stranger. Still makes me mad. Also best man never called us or anything to say he wasn't coming. H had to text him the next day while we were driving to our honeymoon to check on everything.
I have a two way tie for awkward when it came to our RSVPs.
There were about 12 people out of 130 who replied yes but didn't show. The one that bugs me the most is a coworker who has yet to mention why he and his wife didn't show up. It's been nearly a month, and I can't imagine bringing it up now, so I'll clearly just let it go.
The other situation happened just before the wedding. The girl who used to cut my hair (but I didn't feel was being accomodating about the wedding day and therefore found someone else) texted me the Tuesday before the wedding day to ask if she should meet me at my hotel to do my hair. Excuse me? I think I'm a little more on the ball than that. I got distracted and busy and didn't call her back. In the meantime a mutual friend calls DH to ask why this couple (the former hairstylist) hadn't gotten an invitation and could we text them the time & place of the wedding. WTF? Fast forward to Thursday night when I'm finishing up the final touches with the ladies in the WP and I get a phone call from the same girl asking all of the above. I finally caved and said they could come but COME ON. To top it off, she told me on the Thursday phone call that she thought her husband was supposed to be one of the groomsmen...
My mom gave me very good advice early on....family you have to deal with forever, and in thier 33 years of marraige, only 3 of the friends they invited to the wedding are still friends with them. She said she regretted not inviting some of the cousins/second cousins she grew up with in order to have more friends there, because she is no longer in touch with most of those friends who were invited. This was part of the reason my guest list was almost entirely family (the other part of the reason is because my family is so huge it didnt leave room for any friends..at least not without cutting family).
My family is all very tightknit and I also knew that most of them would make a family members wedding a priority, where as friends, as much as I love them, do have thier own lives, and my wedding would have been more something to do for them, then something they would feel bad about missing.
I did have a few friends no show, but for medical reasons, and the very very close friends that I did invite all made it.
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