Relationships
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Boyfriend not exactly "faithful" ?

 my boyfriend and I have almost been dating for a year now. we use to live close but due to us both being military and stationed in different places we have been long distance for the past 6 months, since he gets paid way more than i do HE insists on paying for my plane tickets to go see him once or twice a month. on average a ticket is abot 500. now with that  being said i have caught my boyfriend on multiple occasions flirting and "sexting" with other girls... none of these girls are even remotly close to where he lives so i know they dont hang out or intend on hanging out. I  got really mad at him this last time and really blew up at him about it and he said he wouldn't do it any more and he states he doesn't do it because he actually likes them he does it because he is lonely and that our (his and mine) texting is almost constant and the conversation is always the same. he came up with the idea that we don't text a whole lot during the day and replace that with a phone call every night. that seems to have really helped our relationship and he doesn't talk to other girls anymore but im still upset for his reason in the first place. why be with me? why spend all that extra money on me if your just gonna text other girls. I feel like im being ridiculous that i cant get over it i mean look what he does for us to be together, but at the same time am i just making excuses for him? what do you think?

 

Re: Boyfriend not exactly "faithful" ?

  • Dump him.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I'm having trouble understanding how him blaming your texting him as his reasoning for sexting/flirting/etc. with other women is an acceptable response.
  • How old are you / boyfriend?
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I am 22 and he is 24
  • NBreeNBree member
    Sixth Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    He's lying and cheating on you.  Sexting with other women IS cheating, you know. The only woman he should be sexting with is you, his girlfriend.  Break it off and find someone that is worthy of you and won't go behind your back with other women.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • He's a skank.

    Get another boyfriend.



    Click me, click me!
    image
  • +SMACE++SMACE+ member

    Being 'not exactly faithful' = cheating. 

    dump his idiot ass.

    and why be with you? because he wants all the women that will give him the time of day. At the same time. Which is where your problem lies. (lays? whatever)

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickersLilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Cheating "a little bit" is like being "a little bit pregnant". You either are or you're not.

    He is.

    DTMFA.

    "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same."- Emily Bronte Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Seriously? Omg.

    There is no gray area when it comes to cheating and being faithful. Why is this not common sense?

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't understand what him paying for plane tickets has to do with him cheating on you.  Dump him.  This whole situation is ridiculous.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • If you are okay with him texting/sexting other women then stay with him. If not, then it is time to bid him farewell.
    f.k.a.= Derniermot
  • Yes, you're making excuses for him.  You've only been w/ him a year.  Dont' invest more time in him.  His flying you to see him isn't some sign of anything, to be honest.  If anything, it's a GREAT cover because it's working - "as long as I pay fo rher to come here, she won't REALLY think I'm cheating on her".

    And now he's learned he can have his cake and eat it too. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • There shouldn't be quotes around faithful. YWIA HTH

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Honestly,

    If its this easy for him to cheat when your relationship is still New, what makes you think he won't once you've been married a couple of years? TRUST ME, get out NOW before your too emotionally envolved! He will hurt you. Sexting IS cheating! Your worth more than that! There are PLENTY of amazing men who stay faithful!

    Anniversary
  • imagehindsight's_a_biotch:

    He's a skank.

    Get another boyfriend.

    This. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Speaking from someone who found out their Fiance who they have been with for going on 4 years is on line during the day at work messaging strangers on dating sites and sexual hook up websites and even CRAIGSLIST and giving his NUMBER out. I found one girl who lives only 45 minutes from here that he was texting back and fourth plans to meet up. I caught him twice before the wedding. The first time it was dating website emails from girls about a year ago before we were engaged. He made up a bunch of lies that I was nieve to believe because I don't know anything about dating websites. He said ohhhh I don't know why I still get those messages I only reply back because I'm bored they are all spam no one ever calls or texts me. Then less then a month before our wedding I found the text from a woman who had NO clue he was engaged and had kids. She told me the dating site they met on. Again lies lies lies from him. Well this week I got on the computer and his email was still up (this is how I found out the first time too) and what do I see? A sexual email from a woman he contacted on a sex add on craigslist. I have been married a month to the only man I've ever trusted. A man that in everyday normal life I or anyone would EVER think he would want to do something like this or need to do something like this. I'm stuck right now. I am a stay at home mom with a kid who just spent a LOT of money on a large wedding. So believe me when I say GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN! No matter how many roses he sends you apologies he gives you your relationship will never be the same and you will never be able to fully trust him again. And do NOT blame yourself. He has a commitment or some kind of sex issue. 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • "Not exactly faithful" is *not faithful*. 

    There is scientific evidence that there are two types of men:  womanizers & those who crave a partner/home/monogamous relationship.  Which would you rather spend your time, and heart's energy/love, on?

    I spent 20 years dating unavailable, unfaithful, or lying men (and even married one, at an early age).  Take it from me, it's better to learn to like nice men now than to wait until you've spent years trying to believe their lies & subterfuge, THEN learn to like nice men.  I finally realized that a good man is priceless, after finding a nice man & marrying him... Easy & sweet is the BEST, and far better than uncertainty & tears!!

     You *deserve* to be adored, loved, and treated with honesty & respect.  Demand nothing less, and start by releasing yourself from a guy who is so obviously nothing but trouble.  Yes, it will be sad for a while, but better to do it now, so you can heal & be ready for a nice, kind man who will treat you as the treasure you are.

    Emerald Eyes
  • image+SMACE+:

    Being 'not exactly faithful' = cheating. 

    dump his idiot ass.

    and why be with you? because he wants all the women that will give him the time of day. At the same time. Which is where your problem lies. (lays? whatever)

    This. Don't get married, start a family with this jerk you will regret it. Would it be exceptable if you where "sexting"?


    In NICU for one week born 7-6-11

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    MDC- 10-2-96 CEC- 4-12-98 EEC- 3-10-01
  • image+SMACE+:

    Being 'not exactly faithful' = cheating. 

    dump his idiot ass.

    and why be with you? because he wants all the women that will give him the time of day. At the same time. Which is where your problem lies. (lays? whatever)

    This. Don't get married, start a family with this jerk you will regret it. Would it be acceptable if you where "sexting"?


    In NICU for one week born 7-6-11

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    MDC- 10-2-96 CEC- 4-12-98 EEC- 3-10-01
  • Well it's been days since this board stopped chatting but I just had to write. GET OUT NOW BEFORE INVESTING ANY MORE TIME!!!  Take it from me, a woman who lost 2 yrs of her life to a long distance relationship (both military as well). Everything you said.. happened to me and for the longest I was so naive because "I loved him"... I dealt with so much BS just cause when I was around he played the part of the good guy.... trust me hun. You don't want him! No matter how many excuses he makes or says he isn't really doing anything or is just bored, it's a lie! Run away as fast as you can and don't look back. 
    Zarina2011
  • K'lynK'lyn member
    Seventh Anniversary 10 Comments Combo Breaker
    Dump him.  You deserve someone who respects you.  On top of that don't let anything this guy says screw with your head.  Why on earth would you accept an excuse of "we text too much during the day and I'm bored with our conversations so I have to sexually text OTHER WOMEN" to entertain myself"?  Has it gotten better or has he gotten better at hiding it?  And living so far apart, what makes you think he isn't meeting other women to hook up with while you aren't there?  I'm assuming he has male friends to talk to, or family.  Why not text them or talk to them instead of sexting other women?  That IS cheating.  There's no grey area, either he did or he didn't.  You can't cheat a little bit.  If you have to question whether it was wrong or made you uncomfortable, it was.  Would he be ok with you sexting other men?  If there is no trust, there is no relationship and once that trust is broken it's incredibly difficult to get back.  You're not married to the jerk, and you REALLY shouldn't let it get to that point.
  • Get rid of him. This isn't normal at all! He is not to be trusted.

  • imageScottandTiffany:

    "Not exactly faithful" is *not faithful*. 

    There is scientific evidence that there are two types of men:  womanizers & those who crave a partner/home/monogamous relationship.  Which would you rather spend your time, and heart's energy/love, on?

    I spent 20 years dating unavailable, unfaithful, or lying men (and even married one, at an early age).  Take it from me, it's better to learn to like nice men now than to wait until you've spent years trying to believe their lies & subterfuge, THEN learn to like nice men.  I finally realized that a good man is priceless, after finding a nice man & marrying him... Easy & sweet is the BEST, and far better than uncertainty & tears!!

     You *deserve* to be adored, loved, and treated with honesty & respect.  Demand nothing less, and start by releasing yourself from a guy who is so obviously nothing but trouble.  Yes, it will be sad for a while, but better to do it now, so you can heal & be ready for a nice, kind man who will treat you as the treasure you are.

     

    This. 

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards