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Should we say anything?
My husband's best friend is getting married, and my husband is a groomsmen in the wedding. It is a destination wedding and everything is really starting to add up cost wise... (I should put on here that we are expecting a baby soon, and my husband was diagnosed with a malignant tumor on his shoulder that he has to have surgery on.) We are having to watch our money pretty closely just so that we do not put ourselves in debt (that we have worked hard on getting out off).
I understand that my husband will need to pay the travel expense to get to the wedding, a gift for the wedding, his tux (which we found out today is $225.00 to rent). He was planning on paying for a cheap room with one of his friends close by the wedding site to help with the cost of that as well.
The Wedding is getting close and we received a text message from the bride-to-be telling us she got a suite for the Groom and Groomsmen for the night before the wedding. Then she preceded to tell us what we owed her for the room (a lot more then what he was planning on paying for the entire weekend)... To me this is very tacky. I know when my husband and I got married we took care of our wedding party's accommodations, and every wedding I have been in the Bride and Groom did the same for me. I know everyone is on a different budget and maybe this is not feasible for them, but is it right for her to book a suite somewhere and expect the wedding party to chip in without asking them first?
I am not sure how to address this and if we should even address it. This is becoming a huge expenditure on us.
Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks!
Re: Should we say anything?
Being in weddings is expensive, and you agree to SOME expenses when you agree to be in a wedding. That doesn't mean that you have to pay up and shut up.
$225 to rent a tux is crazy. I would have him talk to his friend and just say "dude, we have a baby coming and with the cost of my medical bills, I can't swing the tux and the suite. Bob and I are going to split a cheaper room so I can still afford to be there with you guys. Is there any way we can look for some cheaper options for tuxes too?"
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
Thanks you guys! I was hoping it wasn't just my hormones making me completely aggravated...
I don't think changing the tux is an option now. I think he will definitely choose to stay somewhere else and go with his original plans. If they get offended oh well. I am pretty much over them now anyway. Thanks again!
That is pretty ridiculous. I am trying to see it from their point of view but am struggling because when we got married my husband and I paid for the rooms for our wedding party for the entire weekend. We did not pay for the tuxes or dresses but we paid for hair, nails, makeup, close shaves (for the guys obviously), all meals, and everything else the day of the wedding. Sorry you're having to go through this! I guess my only advice when approaching it is to remember how stressful it was to plan your own wedding and how difficult it was to try to make everyone happy and do things that worked for everyone (chances are they aren't thinking things the whole way through).
Good luck!
I can't imagine booking a suite without checking with everyone first.
" Hey groom was thinking it would be fun for the guys to get a suite. Who's in?" or something along those lines. Anyway I would definately say something about all the expenses adding up and tell them H is planning on staying elsewhere because it will be cheaper.
My husbands tux was $40. And his was the "expensive" one. Lol.
And while destination weddings are inherently expensive, one person cannot obligate another to spend more money than they have. A wedding shouldn't force you to eat ramen noodles for a year.
I would have my H just email the b?tch, er, bride back: thank you for the hotel information however it is outside of our budget and I (or we) shall be making my (our) own arrangements.
Maybe she will be so pissed your H will get kicked out and you can save $$.
They need a reality check that THEIR desire to have this fancy destination wedding shouldn't be putting their wedding party into debt.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10