Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Meeting the family advice needed
Ok, so I need advice, My fiance and I want to elope, we dont want to be bothered with planning a wedding and dealing with our familes personalities, We love our families dearly but any time they get into the mix its like we no longer can get what we want. We decided to elope but our familes still want to meet each other and know who everyone is, so i'm hosting a meet and greet next weekend, which is stressing me out! I have no idea what to serve and how to keep the conversation neutral, friendly and non-invasive. I dont want any FBI/CIA type interrogations of each other from either side. This is causing me so much anxiety, I can't imagine what planning a wedding would do to me. Any suggestions on how to do this? how to keep this light and fun and all about our love?
Re: Meeting the family advice needed
Look - you're throwing a party. Have good food, music and create as comfortable an environment as you can. You can't dictate what people talk about, though. This is a "meet and greet". Let them all meet and talk and get to know one another.
If anything goes awry, then use that as a good reason to avoid getting both families together in the future.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
I have to mention that this meet-and-greet is more intimate than if both sides of the family were to have just attended a wedding. Because a wedding is a whirlwind with focus on the bride and groom, pictures, dancing, cake-cutting. A wedding typically has same-sides of family sitting together, because aunts/uncles/cousins haven't seen each other in awhile.
But since you sound pretty firm on eloping, it's cool that both sides of the family will have a chance to meet to have a face-to-a-name, but there should be no expectation from anybody that both sides of the family will mesh and stay in touch. You and your man are getting married - both sides of your familes aren't getting married.
I say this because my mom and my MIL did not get along at all, and they are both so different socially. My MIL tried to tell my DH (boyfriend at the time) that he could not continue dating me because our sides of the family did not mesh well. She was so overbearing and tried to say my mom was crazy for not liking her. Some things just fall into the category of "not being someone's cup of tea". They can be civil toward one another, but expecting them to end up friends is the best-case-scenario but not at all mandatory.
Yes! thank you for understanding, i wish i could explain how my family is to paint a better picture but we dont have all day. LOL! i'm just hoping for the best, ive heard so many horror stories on here so far and i'm frankly scared, which is why I wnted to elope i'm doing this to make both of our familes happy, I just hope it isnt against my better jugdment, i will probably be changing the conversation topics alot. I was engaged before and our relationship ended because his mom budding it and said it wasnt a good match because of family, I have a good family but the difference came down to different denominations in church, of all things! Dont want a repeat of the past, thats why I'm stressed.
My family can act crazy sometimes, too, so I totally feel your pain, but I think you should put a little trust in them to act civil and polite so you can enjoy this time and savor being excited about your future with your soon-to-be husband! (: Maybe have a pre-party conversation with your family letting them know how much this means to you and they'll keep any harsh, intrusive questions to themselves.
Regarding the actual party, it might be a fun idea to serve something that has meaning to your relationship, that way everyone can get to know you two as a couple. For example, if you went to a BBQ place on your first date, serve BBQ and potato salad and share your first impressions of eachother. That sets the "please-just-be-happy-for-us" tone haha.
Congratulations, by the way.
Awww thank you, that was sweet! Good advice!