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Well there is some advice I won't be taking... really long vent
I'm sure some of you saw my FB status yesterday about Wyatt's appointment today... let's just start out by saying that it went very badly, as expected.
He weighed in at 20lbs 4oz (2%) and he is 31.25 inches long (about 25%).
The nurse started out by saying that he was still under the 5%, which they don't like to see, but he was up from being under the 1% from his 12 month appointment which is an improvement, but he hasn't gained any %s since February, when he also measured in the 2%.
I said: 'great, so he's finally keeping a percentile'
She said: 'yes, but we don't want him beneath the 5th, so at this point we still need to figure out what is going on. He shouldn't still be weighing in at this small'
A couple minutes later the pediatrician (who I've never seen before, apparently he just started in our area) came in and checked Wyatt's lungs, heart etc. Then he looked at the chart and told me that Wyatt's chart looks horrible, and that according to his birth weight, he should be nearly 30lbs by now. Then they started pointing out how much he has declined since his birth, and the pedi mentioned that it was irresponsible of me to have continued breast feeding past 6 months when he started declining. He said that he likes to see most BF moms wean at 8 months at the latest. So I lost it.
I said: 'Does he look sick to you?'
Pedi: 'No, but you're missing the point'
Me: 'What point? You keep saying that he needs to gain weight. Or what? Do you expect him to get sick and die within the next year? What do you think is going to happen if he stays small?'
Pedi: 'The point is that when a child is under the 5th, it is generally a red flag that something else is going on... which is why we talk to you about what he's eating and what else could be wrong that is hindering his weight gain'
Me: 'So he can't just be in the 2nd % without being sick'
Pedi: 'Sure he can'
Me: 'So what is the problem here? Where do you 'expect' him to be?'
Pedi: 'We would like to see him thriving is all'
Me: 'You mean you want the line on your piece of paper to look nice'
Nurse: 'You really are missing the point here'
Me: 'Have you even looked at him? Anyone who sees him on a day to day basis with common sense will tell you he's fine... even Dr. M (GP) says that there is nothing to worry about'
Pedi: (trying to calm me down) 'Do you think it would hurt to see him a little chubbier? He has no fat on his body, and that concerns me by itself, I think it would take just a little more persistence on your part'
Me: 'My goal isn't to make him fat, it's to keep him healthy, which I'm pretty sure I've done a decent job at considering he hasn't been sick a day in his life'
Anyways, I was just short of livid, and if I could have went elsewhere for his needle, I would have. They brought me a shitton of papers about Canada's food guide and information about high calorie diets. Then they advised me to have another appointment with my GP (just in case) to which I said 'Not likely'. So now they want me to weigh him again in September and have another sit down with them.
I am so sick of leaving that place feeling guilty. They make it sound like I'm in denial about Wyatt's health, which couldn't be further from the truth. I know he's small, but I also know that he's healthy and busier than any 18 month old I've ever seen. I don't know what I could do to help Wyatt gain weight, and to be honest, I couldn't care less if he stays in the 2nd % his whole childhood. I am just so fed up hearing about it.
Sorry this got so long. I just really needed a place to unload, thanks for reading if you got to the end of this!
Re: Well there is some advice I won't be taking... really long vent
William born 7/12/2000
Andrew born 10/30/2011 (9lb 4oz at 37 weeks)
That sucks that they are constantly giving you a hard time and not looking at the big picture - that he is a healthy happy little boy.
If it makes you feel any better my niece is 2 1/2 and only weighs 22 pounds. I don't know how tall she is either but I know she is super small for her age. She is not the best eater, but she is healthy, and as far as I know my sister has never gotten any crap about it.
Good for you for standing up for yourself. I know a lot of times health care professionals are trying to do what they think is best but they focus so much on their statistics and milestones, etc and fail to look at the big picture.
I also agree that the BFing comment is BS!
My niece is 6 and weighs only 34lbs. She has been small since birth and my BF had the same issues with doctors commenting on her weight etc. (She didn't reach 20lbs until she was over 2. She was only 13lbs at 1) The reality was that she was very similar to Wyatt. She ate a lot, but was also very active. She burned all the calories that she consumed. Eventually the doctors gave up on the lecture at every appointment.
I hope they let up on you. You are a great mom and Wyatt is a happy little boy.
Thanks so much, girls. It really is frustrating, and I know they mean well, but there comes a time IMO where they need to throw the chart out the window and actually look with their eyes at the situation. A lot of people in the area seem to have problems with them. Lance's cousin got all sorts of grief from them about her son being in the 98th % and accused her of feeding him pop and candy all the time, so at least I know that I'm not in denial about all this.
The breastfeeding comment really sent me over the edge. I usually just nod my head and say 'Oh okay', but it bothers me that he's telling people that as 'advice'... I did tell him that Health Canada recommends BFing to at least a year, and 2 years if possible. His theory is that if you give them less milk, they'll be hungrier and eat more solid food, which is also why he's told me to cut whole milk to once a day, and juice maybe twice a day... WHAT.THE.ACTUAL.F*CK? I'm tempted to call and talk to someone about his suggestions, because they really bother me.
Sounds like they need to stop focusing on charts and look at the situation like you said. From their track record it doesn't sound like it will be happening anytime soon though. I wish for you that there was somewhere else you could go so you wouldn't have to deal with them anymore.
The BF comment would almost have made me mad! Good for you for sticking to your guns.
#1-BFP 08-22-09 ~ M/C 08-31-09 at 5 weeks 6 days
#2-BFP 08-6-11 ~ Due 04/18 ~ born via c-section April 22, 2012
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I don't even have a child (really) yet and the BF comment made me mad. How dare he? Especially since that is in the past and can't be changed now. The comment does you no good.
I hate when doctors only look at their charts and expect every human being on earth to fit in their little brackets. You know what doc? There ate over 6 billion people on the planet and that's simply not possible, or plausible.
Im sorry they ate giving you so much grief. If they pull it again next time I would tell him you dony appreciate his comments, if he has something useful to say you'll listen but if he is just going to repeat the same BS your bit interested.
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The thing that drives me nuts about your entire situation is the whole percentile thing. The way that percentiles work is that someone has to be at the top, someone has to be at the bottom, and someone has to be in the middle. So what if he is at the bottom. That is just his place in the line up. If he shows any other indicators of being sick or any developmental delays, then look further into it. But obviously, Wyatt does not have any of those.
Those doctors need to chill out a little bit. Don't they know there is an obesity crisis going on? It is a good thing he is small!