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Changing holiday traditions when married (long)
I moved almost 3 hours away from my family, except my sister who lives 1.5 hours away in State College. My old family tradition for Thanksgiving was going to my Gram's for lunch, having some wine, sitting around talking, etc. My Christmas tradition was going to the same Gram's on Christmas Eve - all my aunts and uncles and cousins from my mom's side were there, we ate a wonderful buffet dinner made by my Gram, opened gifts, had wine and just enjoyed one anothers company - then we'd go to midnight mass and home to my parents house.
Now since I'm married, Thanksgiving is my husband's holiday and Christmas is mine. Which means, we spend Thanksgiving with his family (most of his family lives about 2 hours away near Philly, IL's live in FL) and Christmas with mine. We decided to alternate hosting Thanksgiving with his cousin out near Philly. We hosted this year and had a total of 9 adults and 4 children/babies. It was nice, the food was good and it was great company. But......I really missed being at my Gram's and being with my family. There is no way we can do both families on the same day because they are hours apart. I'm thinking we'll have to start doing a "Thanksgiving" the weekend before the real Thanksgiving with my family and do the same for Christmas. It won't be the same, but it's close!
I also H-A-T-E working every other holiday. I was off this Thanksgiving, but I work Christmas. So we won't be able to go up to my Gram's for Christmas Eve because I work at 7 am the next day! My hope is that I can get the day after Christmas off and we'll go up to my parents early that day and stay until Saturday evening. I just wish I had a normal job that I was off every weekend and every holiday. I don't even mind working every third weekend, but I hate working every other holiday - especially now with a child.
I just wish I could continue the old holiday traditions I used to have, but I know I have to make some adjustments since it's not just me anymore.
Ahhhh, thanks for listening if you made it this far! And thanks for letting me vent! I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!
Re: Changing holiday traditions when married (long)
Unfortunately I understand exactly what you are saying. I really miss my old traditions too. I loved my Thanksgiving dinner with my grandparents with the special drink that we made and the delicious food. I learned so much about cooking those dishes from them and it helped me to feel close to them this year by making those dishes with DH, but still it wasn't the same.
Christmas is just as difficult as even though it is my holiday and we go home to my parents, it's not the same. We used to spend Christmas Eve having a full amazing dinner at my grandparents then returning later for desserts, appetizers and presents. We were just talking about it tonight that we didn't know what exactly we were going to do this year.
I know how difficult it is and it only seems to get more so each year. It did help us some this year to develop our own tradition and have Thanksgiving with friends, although I do miss my family.
I am sorry to hear you are having a tough time. My DH works all holidays, unless it falls on his normal days off. It is tough too. His family lives an hour and half away. They have the family holidays the weekend before the acutal day. I get mad because, they expect him to take the day off. They will arrange the day around for other family members, but not for him.
My parents are only 20 minutes away. We try and take turns hosting the holidays. On Thanksgiving we waited for DH to get off of work at 4 pm to have the meal. That was so nice.
I know it is so frustrating.
I understand where you are coming from. It is always so hard to adjust traditions when they have been that way for as long as you can remember. I am thankful though that my parents and DH's parents live in the same town. We're really lucky I guess in that we can come home to my parents for each holiday, but still see his family at the same time. We only really have to worry about who we are seeing first that day, etc. which I guess is much easier than figuring out where we will be for what holiday.
I understand how frustrating it must be having to work some holidays. My mom is a nurse, and I remember as a kid a few Christmas's where she would have to work. It was few and far between from what I remember since they rotated, and it got to the point where she didn't have to work any holidays anymore since her position changed, although technically she was always on call. Do you think your position will allow you to eventually stop working holidays?
I've always thought nursing was such a great job for families--being able to work part times, day/evening/or night to work around schedules, but I guess it also has its downfalls as well, as does any job.
Yeah, you're allowed to complain!?Believe me, if I had to work Christmas or Thanksgiving I would really be complaining too! I often complain that I feel like I'm never off since I always feel like I'm working long hours, have a never-ending pile of grading, on and on. But, I'm sure there are many who would kill to have all holidays off and a summer break, so then I always feel bad.
I guess every job does have it's pitfall. And honestly, I think you're smart in a way to stay out of management. My mom was the nurse manager of L&D and the Women's floor at Harrisburg for about 10 years and finally just left after last year. While she loved her job, it was way too much stress and she was always being called. Now she is in pharmacy with a much more predictable schedule.?