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Birth "methods"?
Did anyone have a particular birth class/book/method they planned on using for labor? I understand that no matter what I chose it very well could all go out the window during the fact, and I'm not talking about stopping the doctor from doing what's necessary/safe.
I hope to have a med-free birth. (if the time comes, and I need medicine, I will be ok with that). And I'm trying to figure out what "method" is best (not that one is best for all).
Will you ladies share with me what your plans were? I know that some had planned one thing and another happened. I'm just wondering what class we should take. Lamaze? Bradley? Hypnobirthing? Deepak Chopra? Just wing it? Lol
Im not having a crazy long birth plan. My hospital already does or avoids the things I was looking for anyway so it would be redundant to write it out for them. And I won't stop them from doing what is medically necessary.
Any direction you can steer me in?
Thank you in advance 
Re: Birth "methods"?
I don't have a 'method' because up here in the boonies nothing is available to me, but I'm not taking the 'just wing it' route either.
For me it's just common sense and education, I have things I would like to avoid (induction, epidural, c-section among others), and I have been educating myself on the best ways to avoid them. (refusing induction until absolutely necessary, staying home to labor as long as possible, hiring a doula etc.). I'm fully aware that some things just happen where an intervention is necessary, but I'm more likely to know ahead of time what qualifies as 'necessary' vs. 'this is the way we usually do things'. I've also written a birth plan and showed it to my doctors, and plan to give copies to the nurses when I go into labor. My birth plan is flexible, depending on the circumstances, but not so much so that it can just be thrown out the window if something like a c-section is needed.
My advice to you would be to read up on all of the different 'methods' you listed and make a decision based on what you're comfortable with. I did a little bit of research on hypnobabies (which can be done at home), and while I know that it works for some women, I'm just not comfortable with it so I didn't pursue it.
I was looking for a Bradley class in the area I lived in but couldn't find one. The closest one was 3 hours away and I wasn't about to drive 3 hours each way every week for 12 weeks for a class. In the end I did my research and we ended up hiring a doula. Hiring her was the best thing we did! She was there for us the entire time and honestly as my H put it.. "the calm in the storm" especially with everything we had to process once we got to the hospital.
I labored at home until I hit transition, going between the tub and whatever position was most comfortable for me when I wasn't in the tub. When I hit transition we decided to head to the hospital. Once at the hospital because T was breech and I wasn't allowed anywhere but on the bed anymore, in hopes that my water wouldn't break, it was a matter of breathing. Quite honestly everything else that was going on in the room around me was mostly blocked out unless I had to consent to something, or was asked a question. Between contractions I'd just lay there with my eyes closed and talk to John or my doula.. or try get some rest.
People talk about contractions being painful and I really didn't find that they were as long as I focused on my breathing and not the pressure. If I started thinking about the pressure or what I had to do I'd start freaking out a bit and then it was painful.. it happened for one contraction right after my water broke and I really freaked! So all that being said... it is totally possible to go natural, you just need to know what you hope to have/want and stick too it. Having a good support team makes a huge difference.
Hypnobabies wasn't something I was comfortable with either so I never did it. That being said I think even without hypnobabies you can focus your mind on something else and have a great experience. One thing about keeping your focus on positive things is it keeps your body more relaxed which can lead to a faster labor and delivery.
I did also have a birth plan which outlined all the possible situations and what I'd want in that circumstance. In the end it was a good thing because we ended up with a c-section. Since a lot of it was in writing and my Dr. had already read my birth plan at my last appointment she knew what I wanted which made it less stressful for me because I wasn't having to ask or tell anyone what I wanted.
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My plan was also for an unmedicated natural birth. I recommend the book "Natural Hopsital Birth". It gives some good advice about who to avoid unnecessary interventions.
That being said. If my labor hadn't progressed as quickly as it had (M was born 2 hours after getting to the hospital and 1 and 1/2 hours of that was pushing), I probably would have caved for the drugs
I have heard good things about Bradley classes.
I took the class offered by the hospital. They tell you everything that could happen and this helped tremendously when Ella had to have the heart monitor thing screwed into her head. I knew exactly what they were doing and wasn't scared.
The breathing didn't do crappola for the pain. Sorry. I tried. I promise.
I do not comprehend the med free concept at all (not judging -- just don't get it). So, I'm no help there. My nurse told me, "You could get a root canal without meds -- but why would you?"
My personal philosophy is that the doctors and nurses do this hundreds of times a year. They know way more than me. I listen to them. Obviously a lot of people like to "take control" of the process. More power to you. I also would rather my kid get shots than polio.
That said. My induced, epidural delivery wasn't bad at all and I'd do it again. So who am I to comment at all in this post.
ETA: Books I've read, nurses I've talked to, things I've read here almost overwhelming tell me birth plan = emergency c-section. I'm glad you have a hospital that does a lot of things you are comfortable with already. Being educated on that is necessary. When most of the girls on here have posted their plans it is mostly what is status quo at my hospital.
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I took classes at my hospital and hired a doula. My doula, Stephanie, was the best $400 we ever spent. Since my labor and delivery was so long (33 hours) she allowed Rusty to go home and take care fo the dog and get a shower and food. He felt comfortable leaving me since she was there. She was also able to talk with the doctors and explain everything that was happening in a way that I would understand and so I wouldn't freak out. If it wasn't for Stephanie, I would have ended up with a c-section. She talked with my doctor right when I got to the hospital (my water had already broke) and told them I wanted to avoid a c-section so they didn't check me that often and I was able to go past the typical 24-hour mark.
My reasons for not wanting meds were because of the side effects. I ended up with an epidural after 18 hours and only being a 4 because I was exhausted already. It was the worst decision. I am not able to lie flat on my back anymore and I have shooting pain down my leg at least once a day because of it. When they were putting it in they did something wrong and ended up having to rip it out and go grab another to try again. Tearing and the epidural disaster are the worst pains in the world. I would not wish them on anyone. I will never have an epidural again if I am able to have a vaginal birth next time also.
My reason for not wanting an epi is similar. I had no complications from the epi itself, but it did help cause a spiral of complications. Wyatt was on the bigger side, and I had to push on my back because of the epi (which makes your pelvis smaller). He got stuck behind my pubic bone which meant we needed the vacuum, when his head was finally born he didn't turn because he had shoulder dystocia (stuck at the shoulders), which can be fatal if not corrected quickly. They tried several maneuvers on me, but because of his size, position and the fact that I couldn't move from my back, my Dr. had to reach inside of me and quite literally yank him out of me, which is when I got a 3rd degree tear, which still hasn't healed correctly to this day.
So to me, the epidural isn't worth the risk of putting this baby in danger. I can completely understand why women who haven't had any problems with one would want the pain relief (It was the best relief I've ever felt, I admit), but it's not for me.
I'll chime in with my reasons for a drug-free birth:
- I know that for a lot of people when they get an epi it slows down labor and then they need pitocin and it kind of causes a vicious cycle.
-I wanted to be able to walk around, get in and out of the shower/tub, and labor in different positions
-my biggest reason though was that most drugs are passed onto the baby and I didn't want that. I wanted to try to establish BFing right away after the birth and had seen videos at my prenatal classes of the drowsiness of a baby with a medicated birth. -- That being said, we had so many issues with BFing at first that the drugs couldn't have made it any worse
I have a similar experience with Parker. He had a big gash on his head when he was born because of my pubic bone. He had to sleep on a water pillow for the first month because of it.
I think the best thing you can do is educate yourself, but remain open to anything. Read books on different methonds, take classes at the hospital and have discussions with your doctor. Only you can decide what is best for you and your baby. There are a lot of ideas and methonds out there and it can be so overwhelming. I think having an idea of what you want, but still being ready to expect the unexpected is the only thing you can do.
You pretty much took the words out of my mouth. I wasn't induced, but I had full intentions of getting and epi and had no issues. My labor sucked, only b/c it was so long. Other than the tearing, everything else went just fine.
This! My "plan" as of right now is that I don't have one. I have no strong feelings on epi or med-free, though when the time comes I can foresee myself wanting the drugs. Only preparation we're doing is taking the 2 day all day course through our hospital in early/mid July, which goes over both non-medical and drug pain management techniques. I'm not writing out a birth plan, T knows my wishes post-birth (being able to try to BF ASAP), and that's about it. I'll speak to my doctors too at my appts in the coming weeks, but it doesn't guarantee anything since whichever one is on call that day is the one that will deliver my baby. As far as tearing and episiotomy is concerned, I've tried to stay active, though I falter a lot and end up on the couch more often than not; I try to do my kegels everyday, and I've been looking into perineal massage beginning at 34 weeks to help with that.
Thank you all for the responses. This is more than I hoped for to get back and I appreciate it.
I will take your advice and read up on all of the methods. I don't think I'm comfortable with the hypno one either, mainly bc I'm not to big on the idea of hypnosis as it is.
Johlise - I hope to labor at home as long as possible as well. My biggest fear is the weather. We are about 30 miles from the hospital, I am due in mid Decemeber and the hospital is nearer to the mountains. The highway we will take can be BRUTAL depending on the weather. We will definitely need to find an alternative if needed. And it's so hard with Colorado. It could be 60 degrees and sunny or snowing a blizzard. Hard to tell. I have looked into Bradley classes, I'm just not sure we can commit to the time, being 12 weeks and we both have screwy schedules. Although I think this would be my 1st choice.
Jessica - I also hope to avoide tearing and epesiodomies. I read Maria's post above to you and I've heard of that before. DH and I have already talked about using the oil to help soften/stretch the area before labor in hopes of no to little tearing. I have thought about getting that book too. I've heard that even though it was written a while ago it still has great information.
Maria - thank you for responding, even though you planned on the epi doens't mean I don't appreciate your point of view or the knowledge you have to offer. My friend said the breathing didn't do a thing for her either. There is a general class the hospital offers and I think we'll probably do that. It says they touch on Lamaze, Bradley ect but is more about the process, what's happening, what can happen ect. I'm sure it's very informative. I'm happy that you didn't have any issues with the epi or being induced. It seems so hit and miss lol. I agree with you in that a birth plan has the potential to cause some issues. If it's too strict, or the woman/husband/partner has their heart too set on one thing, one out come or one way of doing it all, it will stress them out much more if a scenario comes up that they didn't plan for. I am beyond thrilled that the hospital has most of the same ideas I do. For instance (and lets assume that we all know every thing I say includes "as long as it's safe for the baby") they will automatically place the baby on your stomach/chest after birth, give you an hour with the baby to establish breast feeding before they do anything with him/her, wait for the blood to stop coursing through the cord before clamping, they will wait until you are ready for the baby to receive shots/drops/whatever, they do as much as possible with the baby in your arms in in the room right next to you, ect. It makes me more comfortable to know that we see eye to eye on at least these things, and probably more that I'm not aware of yet.
Tara - I've concidered looking into a doula as well. I've mentioned it to DH a couple times and from his response I think he feels like I don't have faith in him to do what I need/be there for me. He hasn't come out and said this, and he will go with what ever I decide, but I want him to be comfortable with the idea as well and know that I'm not disregarding what he can do for me. He already feels helpless when I'm sick all the time and I think that is adding to this feeling of his.
Tara, Caitlyn and Lindsay - I'm honestly terrified of the epi. I know that there are thousands of woman who get them every day and never have a problem, but I'm so affraid of the possible side effects I can't get past it. I already get migraines I can't handle, have neck, back and hip issues and the thought that the epi could potentially make any of that worse, or trigger it scares the hell out of me. I do everything I can to avoid migrianes/headaches and back problems as it is. And I watched a video of a doctor inserting the epi and almost lost it. Anything related to my spine scares me lol. Yes, I know, I'm having a child and the birth is going to be much more messy, painful and icky than a little epidural going into my back. But I'm already nervous about labor, I don't want to add being affraid of the epi and side effects on top of it. And this may also sound nuts but I don't want to NOT feel my legs, thats freakin creepy. On top of all that I know myself and I will need to get up and move around, laying on my back makes me nervous and makes me feel like I have no control over whats going on/happening.
Lynette - I do have to remind myself that things can't/don't/won't always go how I want. I'm VERY OCD when it comes to, well to many things, and this is something I have to remind myself of often. I'm preparing myself now that anything can happen, I will do my best and that the doctors will take care of me, and that's all I can expect.
Krissy - It's good to hear that you didn't have any problems with the epidural either. It makes me feel better knowing that if it comes down to it, and I need one, others I "know" have survived :-)
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Just a few things...
Doulas: Lance was very uncomfortable hiring a doula last time around and I wish that I had at least made him sit down with her before making the decision. Yes, your husband's feelings do matter, but YOU will be the one who is going through labor, not him. You will be the one who is in the greatest need for support, and there will be times during your labor (unless it is super fast and easy) that he will be too tired or worried to give you the support you need.
Our labor lasted 3 days and Lance slept through most of it, so I was on my own trying to cope with induced labor, frustrated out of my mind with no idea what to do. I really wish that I'd had a doula to be there when I felt like I had no control and no support. Needless to say, I've hired one this time, and Lance's feelings really don't matter all that much to me.
Epidurals: (Completely disregarding any complications) I thought the same thing as you, I was terrified to get a needle in my back until I was actually in the middle of labor and wanted relief more than anything. In my experience it doesn't hurt at all, or at least not as much as the contractions did. If it works properly, you can feel your legs, you just can't feel pain. I could feel everything except for the pain, including the pressure of pushing him out.