Relationships
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
husband walked out...
so heres the deal. weve had our problems but a few weeks ago i caught him "sexting" a girl from work. a week later i catch him driving her car on lunch break. after a public confrontation he went home and packed his stuff. a couple days later i found out they slept together while drunk. we have had a few in depth talks and i know he is regreting his actions and i do forgive him and want things to work out. we have a 3 year old. i keep asking him to come home but he wont and continues to say he doesnt want to fight anymore and he wants to be happy. im wondering if i should try to save my marrige and hope his childish actions change or just give up bc its a lost cause.
Re: husband walked out...
Why would you want tos ave this marriage? There is no proof that he is willing to change and become trustworthy again. Do you want a relationship where the trust is broken?
You can't force this man to be in a relationship with you. I'd say the writing is on the wall here. If you want a grown up man who respects you, you'll be hard pressed to find one in the relationship you already have.
He only regrets it because he got caught.
Throw the bum out. Period.
He's having an affair. It's right there under your nose and if it was any closer, it'd bite you right on the nose.
Why do you want this guy back? because of the kid? because of saving face? because you looooooove him?
It takes 2 to kindle and sustain a marriage, he threw it away. Keep the door locked behind him and file. Make sure you get child support. GL.
If he isnt happy and not willing to reconcile, it is time to move on. Both parties have the right to be happy the rest of their life. He will one day look back and realize what he had!
GL to you and sorry things ended up this way!
"We have had a few in depth talks and i know he is regreting his actions and i do forgive him and want things to work out. we have a 3 year old. i keep asking him to come home but he wont and continues to say he doesnt want to fight anymore and he wants to be happy."
Where in this did he say he wanted to work things out? He doesnt want to come home and he wants to be happy...translation: He's not happy at home. You have had a few in depth talks and you say you know he is regretting his actions. You did not say that he flat out said he regrets anything. I see the only thing he regrets is being caught.
Sounds like he's flaunting this girl and this affair in front of your face to get you to throw him out since he doesn't want to "be the bad guy".
Why would you want to be with someone who disrespects you so much? How could you ever trust that he could be faithful again? Is this the kind of drama that you want to expose your 3 year old to? What would you tell your sister, best friend, mom or daughter to do in your shoes????
Agreed.
It doesn't sound like it matters whether or not you "give up" at this point, because he's already checked out of this marriage.
If he wanted to come home and work this out, he would have by now. Instead he's refusing, and telling you he "wants to be happy" is his reason for it. He's telling you he's not happy at home. He's telling you not happy with you. He's not interested in going back to that life, because he's pretty darn happy having drunken one nights stands with his co-worker. He's laid it out for you: he's done.
Yes, that sucks and it hurts. A lot. But you (And your child) are way better off if you come to terms with it now instead of delusionally spending the next few weeks/months/years thinking you're going to somehow "win him back" if you press the issue enough.
I'm more than willing to start validating people's ideas when they start having ideas worth validating