May 2012 Weddings
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Baby Talk?
So have any of you had to deal with the "when are ya?" yet? This has to be one of the most annoying things in the world to me right now. Why would people just automatically assume RIGHT after you get married, you are immediately starting the baby boom! H and I can not have children and I don't exactly go around announcing it to people or have it tatooed on my forhead. And it seems like everywhere I go someone is asking when they can expect the pitter patter sound. URGH....
Why don't people just let couples enjoy married life before the bombarding baby question?
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Re: Baby Talk?
Ugh, yes. People keep hinting about us starting a family soon...its like, we just got married, give us some time to enjoy that!!!
I'm also super paranoid about everything I wear because I feel like people are going to start focusing on my belly (my least favorite part of my body to begin with!)
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My mom has talked about how excited she is to be a gma more so than ever lately. She also talks about how my in-laws will be great gparents and how i would be a great mom. Ok yes, I do want children, but I really want to enjoy married life A LITTLE before we have a screaming child 24/7. We're planning on waiting 5 years and I can't imagine how many people are going to on our case then!
By the way, funny story. Days after we got back from the HM I went to a family HS grad party without H and with my parents and sister. It was PAINFUL and my sister and I were trying to come up with an excuse to leave. I told her to tell them she felt sick from the food, she told me to say the same thing. I was like NO, I just got back from my HM, everyone will think I'm pregnant if I tell people I'm sick. YOU DO IT lol
Husband's family (mostly his older sister) started asking us this BEFORE we were even married and it's annoying!! Our families are completely different... In his family, you grow up to have babies. Most of the woman in his family don't work, they just raise children and there is nothing wrong with that however, I was not raised that way and I don't feel that way at all. I went to college, have two degrees and love my job. I am not about to give up everything I've worked really hard for to have children. Being pregnant wouldn't really sit well with my job - the whole anesthetic, dog bite, cat litter/scratches doesn't go over well when you're pregnant. Some day we might have children but I can promise it won't be anytime soon and when we do make that decision, SIL will not be the first to know! Let us live our lives together without all the annoying baby talk!!
Luckily not yet...probably because most people know that we aren't sure whether we want to have kids yet. I've actually had 2 patients congratulate me on our marriage and say "But wait awhile to get pregnant!" They were both elderly ladies so I thought it was funny.
I know this might be more of a personal choice, but if I couldn't have kids and people kept asking me I'd just tell them that I was unable to have children. Makes them feel guilty for getting in your business and it ensures that they won't bother you again about it.
I just don't like being labeled. In our small little town, gossip goes like wildfire. I am a very private person to begin with and don't feel the need to share with the entire town my medical history. Besides, it wouldn't really stop anyone. The very few people that do know, then start asking about alternatives. It's just not something I'm willing and wanting to do. I feel like I was not "blessed" to have children and I'm ok with that.
Only from people as jokes, typically. My MIL asked the other day, only because H's brother just found out they are expecting and I told her "not anytime in the immediate future!" even if I was trying right now, i wouldn't tell people that.
But, I am pretty ready to be a mom. I have been reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility and has really got me thinking about TTC
we have the opposite problem.... everyone telling us to NOT have babies right away and enjoy being married for a while first. which, is what we want to do, but i still think it's funny :-P
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The baby talk started before the wedding, at least within the family. Now that the wedding is over, EVERYONE goes into the baby thing. One of my supervisors at work even asked if I was pregnant! I replied, "No, I'm just getting fat. Honeymoon eating..." I think knowing that I'm recently married meant "pregnant" in his mind, rather than him thinking "Oh, she's getting fat." Fortunately, I'm very comfy and open with my weight. Plus weight is an openly discussed thing in my company, and my division in particular.
I expected post-wedding baby talk, so it doesnt bother me at all. I think people just put marriage and babies together (remember that song from childhood...?). I don't think they mention kids to be offensive or prying. A girl I work with recently got married and pregnant on her honeymoon, so these people are getting their ideas from somewhere. H and I are very firm about our decision to wait a few years, if we even have kids at all. So any baby questions get a playful, yet firm, "Definitely NOT NOW," response. All smiles
We had some minor issues(very likely nothing) arise at our dating ultrasound, so are now waiting EVEN LONGER to tell more people. We haven't decided when yet. We go for another ultrasound on Monday and I am hoping I can convince them to give me at least some reassurance/results ASAP instead of waiting for blood work as well (which would mean not getting results until I am 17-22 weeks!). I definitely cannot hide my pregnancy that long, unless I hole myself up in my house.
We haven't heard this question yet, but we live near my family and they are the type of people that wouldn't ever ask that question. DH's family however are the type of people that will be all over us about it when we see them for family events like DH's cousin's wedding in September and Thanksgiving.
I think when I have mentioned anything child related it's mostly like 2 years away.
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Ahhh..a very heated topic around here lol.
I am beyond wanting a baby...kinda of sad how baddd I want babies...Ive wanted babies before I even met FI...and was VERY glad I didnt have any with the exH...whew dodged a bullet there. But I can't wait to have kids with DH now
My family is all expecting within 9 months of honeymoon..they know how I am and how Ive always been extremely motherly my whole life etc...Inlaws...well this very topic got very heated yesterday...and ended up with him hanging up on his mom (we had gone to look at a biggere apartment and had called for "advice").
Basically his family think we are nuts to want to have kids so soon..but yet his cousin has a 1 yr old and only been married 2.5 yrs...so not like they realllly waited..but whatever...anyways...his mom FLIPPING OUT about me wanting babies...He's not ready...wait 5+ yrs etc...which if we were 21 ok! But we are both 26 and my side has history of female issues after 30...aunt had Hysteratemy, my mom barely made it thru deleivering my little sise at 35..and she had health issues whole time...so based off my family I want both kids by time Im 30 or very close after...and want a little bit of time between each..so gotta hop to it lol...
And little does his mom know but he actually wants to be a dad sooner then they think...now that we married he not freaked out by it..love him
He is as ready as he could be mentally till the point of oh crap she pg im gonna be a dad type of reality.
But since a month before wedding and since..we arent preventing anything..so time will tell...I am late..but Im always late/skip...its my moms side UGH...so we shall see
So I guess Im in the line of dont mind the instant omg when you having kids attack..I love it
Im weird I know lol
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Um... so I'm just going to say- be thrilled they are eager to have you have little ones. Conversation last week with FIL was him telling me H never wanted kids, hates all kids, and I can't change him. Then he said if we ever have kids I shouldn't bring the "screaming brats" over to their house.
Yeah... just be glad they are happy for you and think starting a family is a good idea.
Luckily MIL is awesome, BIL is great, H and I talked later (and once he heard what happened he talked to FIL) and he reassured me. We are nowhere close to our 20s so if we are so blessed to have kids it will be ASAP after I get better (been sick since the wedding week).
From another side of the fence...