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How ridiculous is this? weird & long
Lance's uncle 'K' (lets call him) is a bit of a mess. He is in his late 50s, has been divorced 3 times to the same woman and is living with his son when he's not away working in camp. He has been storing a bunch of his furniture in a old shed here ever since his first divorce (almost 15 years ago), so every once in a while he stops by to pick something up or drop something off... which is irritating to begin with. To make things worse he never calls or asks if he can leave things here. He got permission from Lance's Dad in the 90s and assumes that it's still okay. Lance and I don't say anything because the shed is on a piece of land that we have no ownership of, so technically it's none of our business what he puts in there.
About a month back, he stopped by (uninvited), stayed for dinner and talked Lance into letting him house his horse here. He sold it when he first got divorced (15 years) and now he is buying it back 'because there is no one to boss me around anymore'... We figured it was no big deal as long as he helped pay for feed and paid for his own farrier since the horses don't require a lot of maintenance.
He has shown up at the house 4 times in the past 2 weeks wanting to talk to Lance about it (they work opposite shifts, so he's never home), and always ends up hanging around like it's no big deal. I ask him every time to please call ahead so that I can at least make sure the house is clean, but no. He showed up yesterday with his new girlfriend to tell us that he planned to bring the horse 'soon'.
Today, while I was coming back from my walk, they showed up. By the time I got back to the yard he was parked by the barn hauling a saddle and a bunch of blankets out... I asked what he was doing and he just said 'these used to be mine until I sold them to (FIL)'. So I asked what his plans were and he told me that he was going to get the horse and would just ride it here. I asked if I should make something for dinner (leftover night) and they wouldn't give me a straight answer so I took some steaks out...Then they left. His girlfriend showed up a few hours later with the truck and she chatted with us for an hour until K finally rode in on the horse.
Again, we had no clue what their plans were. We stood out in the yard and chatted for a while until it was getting time to feed Wyatt. Lance asked them and they insisted that they didn't need anything, so we ate leftovers as planned and put the steaks away. 2 hours later they finally came in the house (7pm), we made them coffee and then K says 'Oh, I didn't tell you that we're camping in your yard tonight did I?'. Lance thought he was joking and said 'There is a fee for that you know'... well as it turns out he wasn't joking. I asked if they wanted to sleep in the spare room but he insisted that they use the camper because they 'make a lot of noise' O_O WTF!?! So I just said 'mmkay, whatever you're comfortable with'. A half hour later K said he was getting hungry so Lance dug out what he could so that he could eat.
So now they're in their little camper out in the front lawn... we've spotted him wandering around, he was in the farm garage once. Apparently they plan to stay all day tomorrow and 'reconnect' with the horse *insert eyeroll here*. I've already told them that I have to leave the house for most the day (Grad photos for a girl) and K told me that they'll just make themselves at home... yeah, I'm sure you will.
How do you even deal with someone like this?? I asked MIL what she used to do and she said 'I just put up with him and eventually he goes away, don't be surprised if you don't get stuff back'. Who the hell goes over to someone's house, expects to be fed and stay the whole weekend without even calling ahead of time?
Re: How ridiculous is this? weird & long
This... it's one thing for a relative to make an unannounced stop but most people know social cues and dont expect dinner and dont invite themselves to stay over (they didn't even ask?!). Weird....
Sorry you are dealing with this. Completely unacceptable!
Your in laws never cease to amaze me. I'm sorry you have to deal with them! Can you tell him you would appreciate a phone call before they visit. Leave it at that. Don't say anything about wanting to clean up or have dinner ready bc obviously he doesnt care about that. It's a matter of respect.
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That's so weird. You know, I think that's the way all your in-laws act...no boundaries. The thing that sucks is after how many hints you have given, NO ONE has EVER got the hint.
It's like they lack basic understanding on how the world works. Just because you're related doesn't mean that you can be rude.
However, if it happened to me, I would definitely be to chickenshit not do anything
Edit: Spelling
Yeah, I totally agree with you. MIL/FIL don't show up without calling or anything at least, and since their stuff is gone now they're not as bad about coming over and taking over... Thankfully things have been getting much better with them lately.
This all kind of makes me wonder about their attitude towards the whole thing... they let K keep his stuff in a shed at their house for years, so maybe they just kind of assumed that they should be allowed to keep their things here as well until it was convenient KWIM?
K ended up leaving around noon yesterday without even saying he was leaving lol. No thank you or anything. Apparently he is planning to go to MIL's today and she asked me if I want her to talk to him, so maybe she can get through to him about not just showing up uninvited. Thanks for letting me vent girls!