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MOHzilla
My MOH was kinda crazy, but in a nice, too helpful kinda way where it pissed me offh. She would go overboard trying to help with everything and would always ask me a million questions about what I was planning to do and then giving her 2 cents on it all. One day about a year out from the wedding she asked if I had any idea what I wanted for favors. I told her my plan. The next time we planned to hang out, she showed up with a mock-up of a favor that she really liked and started telling me where she bought everything and how we can make them all together one day. It threw me so off guard since it wasn't what I wanted and I didn't ask her to do it and we were so far away I didn't have any plans to really make anything yet.
She also drove my mom and sister crazy. They were throwing my shower and invited the BMs to come. MOH overloaded them with emails all the time with all these different ideas she had and alternative ideas to the plans they had. Fast forward to now. MOH is now MOH for one of my other bridesmaids and I'm a BM too. I actually warned this bride (my friend) that MOH doesn't mean to, but she gets very excited and wants to help with everything and goes overboard in an annoying, let-me-change-everything kinda way.
The bride's FMIL sent each of the BM's a short email saying she and her daughter (bride's FSIL, another BM) were going to throw her a shower on this date and asking if we could come. I responded back that yes I could make it and let me know if you need any help. That's all. The other night I was BCC'ed on an email from MOHzilla to the FMIL. It's a gigantic novel about how we're SO excited to come and help and we can come early and listing all these ideas she had for decorations, favors, etc and she specifically names me as being willing to help make all this shiiiit ahead of time with her.
::hits head against desk over and over::
Now I'm on the other side of MOHzilla's wrath. I don't mind helping at all, but I'm not thrilled about the idea of spending hours making paper flower decorations because MOH loves them. I'm not thrilled about having to pay for them either and I suck at crafts. The FMIL just asked if we can make the date. She didn't ask if we'd run the whole thing! The worst part though is MOH is very sweet and is just trying to be nice so it's hard to just say "STOP IT"
Re: MOHzilla
Sounds like an interesting situation to be in, very nice that she loves to help but not so great that she ropes everyone into helping and paying for her ideas! I always just say I'm willing to help if needed that way people don't feel bad asking for help from me but I try not to spout ideas out there unless asked.
Sounds like she already has you signed up for craft time but maybe you could suggest that you would do something other than the crafts for the shower?
This is an interesting situation. Never been in one like this before. I would just let them all know crafts is not your thing (& you were volunteered for it without your knowledge) and suggest more specific things you could do if they need it. That way you still have the ability to help out if needed but it will be something you are capable of doing. Plus this makes it so whatever it is stays within your budget.
I really hate it when people say they are willing to help if needed and they don't follow through. One of my BM's did this and it became upsetting. I say it too but no one ever asks me for help after I offer. People will just come to me and ask if I will be able to do something for them and I do it. So I don't get a chance to offer very often.
Yeah I don't mind helping, which is why I offered to the FMIL. I just forgot how overboard MOH goes. Personally if I'm not the one hosting the shower, I'd just say "Let me know what I can do" and maybe offer a few general suggestions for what I' can help with. She goes into so much detail on these ideas she gets without even checking if that's what the FMIL wants to do and making it sound like she's practically started already so it's hard to say no.
For one of my showers she volunteered to make the cake. It came out great. She worked herself into such a stress about it though (making it, getting it to the house, etc) that when it was time to cut it, she jumped up to volunteer to do it, but then when she looked at her boyfriend (couple's shower) for help and he wasn't jumping up too, she went into the bathroom and cried.
I think most of my "job" as bridesmaid is really just going to be keeping her calm and trying to talk her out of taking too much on.
Nicely put.
HAHA yeah.
She's calling me tonight to "discuss things". I'm wondering if I'll need to take notes for all the ideas she probably wants to do...