Hi everyone, I'm new to the board and I have a question. This subject was brought up on The Knot's community board, and I wanted to cross post it to get some more feedback because I'm honestly curious. I'm currently engaged, I moved to the area and in with my FI about 5 months ago, leaving my previous job on good terms. We weighed many factors and decided that with the cost of living being so much better here, and the fact that my FI has a great job, he was financially able to cover us until I found a job (which wouldn't necessarily be the case where I was living), then everything I made would be gravy money for wedding/saving/etc. But with looking and applying and interviewing for these last several months, I'm still coming up empty handed. Here's the question... Do you think wearing an engagement ring to an interview is a bad idea? It implies that yes I can commit, but that I'll be needing time off at some point, and I could be distracted by my personal life (which I try to keep separate from work as much as possible). I do not have a huge flashy ring either, it's a solitare, just under 3/4 of a carat. I've been volunteering information at interviews because they ask what brought me to the area, and I'm starting to wonder if this is just giving them reasons to overlook me as a candidate and I should limit it to 'moved for personal reasons' and when they ask for dates I can't work just give the dates without explaining what they are for, but airline tickets and hotels are already paid for. I'm wondering if anyone else has had any experience with this (from the employer or prospective employee side) and can offer any tips. Thank you so much!
Re: rings at interviews?
I'd wear the ring but say that you moved for family reasons.
If they ask what days you need off, I'd actually tell them the real reason. They're probably more likely to be flexible for your wedding than a random week off.
FET - transferred two embryos (boy and girl) - Nov 2014 - BFP!
Someone at my job was engaged at the time of her interview - wedding six months later. She's taking three weeks unpaid and they don't care.
Also if you get hired and then start wearing your ring to work, they might wonder why you felt the need to hide it and perhaps even wonder what else you may be hiding.
This!
And I wouldn't volunteer unnecessary details during an interview. "family reasons" should cover it.
I had 2 job interviews after I got engaged and nobody commented on my ring. through some questions it came out that I'm engaged. I got one of the jobs but it was only seasonal. when I interviewed for the job I'm in right now I flat out said "I just wanted to let you know that if I'm offered this job I already have vacation plans for my honeymoon in October." they were fine with it and congratulated me on being engaged.
I say wear the ring and if you are offered the job, let them know about your honeymoon plans.
I wore my ring to my interview 2 years ago and even talked about my wedding (I wanted to make sure they knew upfront I would need time off around that day) and still landed the job.
Depending on the type of company they may not want to hire someone who is getting ready to start a family so I think you should research the company and make your decision based on that. The company I work for is a medium sized family owned and operated company.
I regularly sit on interview panels at my office, and we have a guideline chart of questions we are not allowed to ask, which includes relationship status and family questions. We actually aren't even allowed to ask what brought people to the area. We are also not allowed to take into account if a person is wearing an engagement ring during deliberations over candidates.
I know not every office has these guidelines, but I recommend what everyone else has said. Wear your ring, don't bring up your engagement, and definitely do not bring up that you need time off for a wedding. If you impress them, they won't begrudge you taking off time to get married.
Hi,
As everyone else I will also suggest you to wear your ring but do not talk about your wedding or time off.
As a hr officer I can tell you that. When i was engaged I also had a hard time getting a job it should not be that way but it is, if you keep going on about moving there with your FI and getting maried etc etc it will seem like you won't be able to do a good job because you are very busy with your personal stuff, believe me that people take those things in account when deciding who to hire.
But again it depends on so many things like,what industry it is etc etc.
But if you are the person they are looking for they will hire you, I was hired for my job being 8 months pregnant.
Just make a good first impression!
I have heard mixed opinions about this FROM employers. To some extent, it depends what industry you work in. Some employers would rather you be up-front and tell them, but be aware that they are thinking about you long-term. A wedding is a one-time deal, and most are ok with that. However, weddings are also associated with babies - a life-long commitment for both you AND your work. When you need time off to go to prenatal check-ups, ultrasounds, etc. you'll be asking for time off. Not to mention maternity leave. Plus, once the baby is born, you'll also take time off whenever the baby is sick.
I know that it may not be your plan to have a baby right away, but an employer could still see it as a potential negative.
Just weigh your options and know that every employer is different, and are looking for different things. I got laid off a month and a half before my wedding. In the time before the wedding, I didn't wear my engagement ring to interviews, and none of my potential employers asked if I would need time off (so I didn't need to explain about the honeymoon). However, I also didn't land a job.
After the wedding, I did wear my engagement to a job fair, and was promptly hired (I started work two days after returning from my honeymoon).