Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
I Need Your Advice
My husband is starting to get to that point in his life where he is sick and tired of his job. He works for The Home Depot, not as a store associate but for the corporation however he works in the local store (if any of that makes sense). He's been with the company for 3 years now and just dislikes his job. He makes fairly decent money (enough so we don't live paycheck-to-paycheck) but he wants to do something different with his life. His dream job would be to work for the Michigan State Police and he has talked recently about applying for the training program. The program is 20 weeks long, they get to come home for weekends, the pay is twice what he is making now and at the end of it they place you with a job.
All that sounds amazing but I absolutely LOVE my job! I make really good money for the area that we live in and it is the best job I've ever had. I work as a licensed veterinary technician and I've worked really hard to get to where I am today. I know it sounds selfish of me but I am not ready to give all that up yet. On top of everything else, we recently bought a house and I don't think we would be able to sell it in 5 months if we needed to move on a short notice. H has a friend who recently went through the program and they now live in Detroit! One of my fears is that we would end up in Detroit and I do not want that. I like my peaceful, non-busy streets and more relaxed life.
I just don't know what to do, H and I have talked about it but we never really finish the conversation. Should I have to give up my dream job so H can have his or does he give up his dream job so I can have mine?! I just wanted to know what you ladies thought about everything! Thanks Ladies 
Re: I Need Your Advice
Oh wow, this is tough one. I used to work for Home Depot (6 years), so I know how he probably feels about his job (although, I was a kitchen designer...but HD is HD). The training program sounds great, and working for the State Police sounds like it could be great, too. What if he worked at the city level vs. state? Is he interested in that at all? How are the State officers placed? It sounds like either way, someone is going to have to give up something. As a vet tech, you could get a job nearly anywhere. If it were me, I would encourage my husband to chase his dream, but I am not attached to my job.
I don't know if this is the case for most states or not, but I've known quite a few people who have gone through that course in MA, and afterwards had a really hard time finding any job openings, or they get placed in a really crappy area that no one else wanted (but mostly I've heard about the lack of job openings)
If it were me, I'd only do it if I knew there was a guarantee that 1. I would have a job after the course and 2. if they could tell you where it will be, so that you can search for a job and a new place to live.
Missing Our July Sparkler
BFP#1-11/12/12, MMC 1/16/13-baby stopped growing @ 9wks, found out at 13wks, D&E 1/25/13
BFP#2-4/23/13 EDD-01/02/14 baby BOY born 12/31/13 Michael Cameron
I agree with this. H's best man is a police officer (not state, so I'm not sure how much of a difference there is). It is kind of a long story, but his town's precinct (not sure if that is the tech. term, but whatever) was under investigation from the state. It was a very small precinct, and I guess there was some dirty cop stuff going on there. The state STRONGLY recommended he resign, as he wasn't involved, and they said it would be best for his safety. So now for the past year and a half he's been traveling from Kansas to Kentucky to Wisconsin and every place in between (they live in Illinois) taking tests & interviewing. He's on his 3rd offer - I guess 2 other places offered him a job, but it's not working out - apparently they aren't "quite ready" to actually pay him yet but he obviously needs to work. And he is someone who always has top test scores, if not the top score. We've had people calling our house to talk to H as a "personal reference of character." I guess they ask really personal questions - when they called this guy's previous place of employment, they were digging for any little thing against him - they were implying that this guy must have been having an affair with someone in the office because no one would say anything bad about him (he's just an all around good guy).
Another person I went to HS with is also a police officer, in a town with 100,000+ people. He'll have to work 3rd shift for about 13 years because that is how long the waiting time is to get on a regular shift. Another friend of ours who is a police officer is changing professions because of this - he wants to start a family and knows it's just going to be difficult working nights & weekends until the kid is a teenager.
Like I said, I'm not sure if it's the same thing with the state police, but I'd definitely do more research before making a decision. Maybe they are "placed in a job", but is he going to have to work 3rd shift and every Christmas in downtown Detroit for 10 years before being offered something better? I also doubt that state police officers are retiring at the rate they graduate new state police officers. If I were him I'd contact a state police officer in your area and just ask him what it's really like.
Are you willing to let him go away for the duration of the training and just wait to see where they place him? Maybe he'd get placed somewhere that's an easy commute for your H. Or maybe he could transfer closer to home after the first few months. And hey, if it doesn't work out, then he comes back home. But at least he got to try it out. I'm a firm believer that every person should pursue their passion at least once in life, and the earlier that happens, the better.
My H was hating his job a while ago. He ended up getting sick and subsequently losing his job. He's been unemployed since trying to figure out his calling. We've already agreed that we're open to having a temporary long-distance relationship in the event that either one of us needs to go elsewhere to pursue our passion. Right now, I'm set with a good job doing what I love. But if my H ended up working across the country doing something he loved, I would eventually pick up and follow. What I love about my job is patient care, and as long as I could find a job that will expose me to the patient care experience, I'd tag along with him.
I think you need to talk to H about your concerns. I would sit with him and discuss the pros and cons and what's best for the two of you, especially if he gets assigned to an area that's not idea.
That's a really tough decision that the both of you need to make together (I know you already know that..)
I'm not really sure what advice I can give you, but I can tell you what hubby and I did in our similar situation:
I graduated with an engineering degree and immediately took a job in Charlotte, NC. I LOVED it! I worked for a great company with great people making really great money. I bought a house all by myself, was fixing it up and was pretty certain I was going to be there for a very long time. (Also, all my family is in NC.) DH worked as a construction engineer and was moving around from job to job all the time. We both agreed we wanted to be in the same place together and we didn't want to move around following his job at the time. He looked for jobs all over Charlotte and applied to multiple jobs and had a few interviews but ultimately wasn't able to get a job that would keep him in one place.
In December he got a call from a company he interned for in college. The job was perfect for him, with a company he knew he liked working for. However, it was in Colorado. If he took the job it meant I had to leave the job, city, and house that I loved. I would have to leave all my friends and family and everything I ever knew if he took this job. Since my degree is in structural engineering (and being female in this field is an advantage), we assumed it would be easier for me to find a job in a new city than it would be for him to eventually get a job in Charlotte, especially since he had already been looking so hard.
It was a really tough decision, but now I'm really glad this is what we decided to do. I couldn't sell my house, so I put it up for rent with a property management company. They had it rented in just over a month to a very nice family. The rent I'm getting is more than the mortgage payments + the management company's fees, so that's a plus. I was able to get a job with the same company DH works for making the same amount as I was at my old job.
In the end you're a team and you have to do what's best for your new family. I know that doesn't answer any of your questions, but hopefully it'll give you something to think about. Good luck making your decision. I believe that whichever way you choose to go, if you pray about it you'll be watched over and everything will work out.
My BFP Chart Danger Love Blog
Tough decisions! The ladies have given some pretty sound thing to think about, so all I will add is a question:
Is your H wanting to do Policing because thats been his life long dream, or is it just something that appeals to him because he is sick of his job where he is at?
If its the latter, maybe theres other career options that might be worth exploring first that are more easily accessible in your area? My cousin who had a really good job at a car company was let go during the recession and he had a hard time finding work and ended up as a bus driver, he felt pretty humiliated that was here he ended up, but the pay is good, he likes driving, and he says he gets to meet interesting people every day. Now he LOVES his job, and because its Union hes got so many benefits.
Just saying just because your H doesnt love his job, doesn't mean the ONLY way to find another job is to go into policing. Maybe explore some other options, go to a career fair or look at city jobs? There might be something else that appeals to him once he starts looking? Now if its his dream that hes been stuck on for years, I would let him persue it, but if its a reletively new thing, then look around and see what else is out there first.
My Blog:Through My Eyes
Wow, TN ladies gave excellent advice! I definitely don't think you are being selfish wanting to stay at your job. But I think there is a way to compromise, maybe he can work for the local police department? That seems to make the most logical sense right now because you just bought a house... do you really want to go through the process of selling and buying a new house now? Maybe in a few years he can apply to the state police program?