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Still pissed at DH over my birthday
My birthday was last Saturday. I waited all day for some sort of card or birthday present, just something. DH had the kids give me a card 10 min before I had to leave for work. That was it. While I loved that they made me a card, I got nothing from DH.
On my way to work, he texted that he got called in and would be making overtime pay. I texted back that maybe he could afford a birthday card. He texted that he and the kids would go shopping for a birthday gift for me since I was upset.
What did I get? No birthday card and some plastic dishes from Target wrapped in leftover wrapping paper. I was a bit bummed, but just dropped the issue. However, last night, DH was working on his hobby and I noticed he had a new tray for it. I asked when he got it and he told me he picked it up when he was getting my birthday present. I'm pissed off all over again. He had enough time to shop for himself and then grabbed me a random gift. I feel like a child throwing a stupid fit, but the fact that my DH obviously has no regard for me is really upsetting.
Re: Still pissed at DH over my birthday
I think you have to start buying your own birthday gifts. Your DH just sucks at it.
You'll feel better when that box from Amazon arrives and you hand it to DH to wrap. Actually, give him a gift bag, a new one.
Happy Birthday!
It can be hit or miss. He pulled this two years ago and then got me a kindle last year.
This wouldn't sit right with me either. It's not so much the actual gift giving, its the age old saying that 'its the thought that counts'. I could get a hand written letter and be happy because it shows love, care and thought behind it. I'd be especially pissed if he knows how I feel about such things and still doesn't deliver.
It may seem petty to him, but i'd have a come to Jesus talk about it all. His laissez-faire attitude/approach to this is the biggest issue.
Ditto this. I wouldn't mind my DH working OT on my b'day b/c that is something he does for the family, but at the same time, he could afford to spend some time and effort on a gift. My dh can't wrap, but he will at least buy a new gift bag!!!
Buy yourself something great, and don't feel guilty. In fact, spend more than you would spend on yourself - - like you were buying for a romantic partner you adored.
Then tell your dh to wrap it and give it to you.
I understand you being pissed about all but one thing: the "leftover wrapping paper". Do you mean paper that was saved from a previous gift and re-used, or just paper that you already had in the house?
I save gift bags that are given to me and recycle them, so that is the only part I do not get.
Have you told him previously (i.e., before marriage/children) that it is important to you to be acknowledged on your birthday, and that you expect a gift of some kind, or an outing?
I remind my DH a few weeks before my birthday every year, just to give him a heads up, because he hopeless about remembering dates. I also keep a list handy for him to choose from of things I would like/want. He uses it for birthdays and Christmas so he has some ideas, and I am suprised.
Say what now? You should not have to tell your spouse that you expect to be acknowledged on your birthday with at least a card from him, it should be common sense.
You are so right to be pissed off. I was too! I just got a Happy Birthday on mine and on Mother's Day he just ran to the store in the morning and grabbed a card and a plant. It was my first Mother's day too!
What sucks is how thoughtful we are for them. I got my DH two tickets to a MLB game for Father's Day in April and it falls on his Birthday. I got a "Happy Birthda" and that was it. No card nothing. I am getting really fed up with it. It is a month later and I am still angry and I don't know if I will calm down.
I totally understand what you are going through and I don't know what to do either.
I know how you feel!! My H totally disregards my birthday, pretty much every year and tells me he'll make up for it... Still waiting... The worst was two yrs. ago, my 25th (big thing in my eyes), he promised to take me out for a nice dinner then proceeded to go to happy hour with His friends and got so drunk he passed out when I got home from work. If it was his birthday, I'd be in the dog house!!!
It's a "pick your battles" type thing I guess. Maybe we both need to be more clear how special our birthdays are to us.
Good luck! I hope that he will make up for it somehow and things will be better next year...