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This probably sounds a little childish....
Two of my friends have referred to me as their best friend, but I don't feel the same way about them! Very close, yes, but 'best'? No they are not the best. The people that are truly the closest and best are my sister and my husband. There is too much awkwardness over certain subjects with these two other women to have the openess and honesty that best friends should have. I feel conflicted about this because they both are very sensitive about rejection. I posted something on my blog about the closeness between me and my sister and within 30 minutes I had a text message from one of these friends asking if our friendship was ok, if I was mad at her.
What do I do? How do I foster an understanding of where things stand without hurting these ladies' feelings?
Re: This probably sounds a little childish....
This.
I find it childish that she even thought it was ok to question that you are much closer with your sister then you are her. I don't see how she can think you would ever choose her over your sister. I will never understand friends like that. Also what about husbands. I don't see how friend can ever expect they will trump husbands. Random little vent over.
I agree with saying nothing. She sounds too insecure to not let it affect the relationship
I don't see it as a big deal. I'm trying to imagine how this conversation would go and am having flashbacks to kindergarten. "I can't be your best friend because I'm so and so's best friend. So and so is better than you because of x, y, and z. We can't be best friends until you do x,y, and z. If you're both happy with the relationship and get something out of it, who gives a flying f*ck what titles you put on it?
There is a theory that anyone can put up anything they want on Facebook and Blog. However you have to understand that if you made this huge post about how you love your sister, and she is your best friend etc. that some of your other friends might be hurt/jealous because in a way you are bragging about the relationship. Of course the hurt/jealous friend should not have texted you based on this blog because it only shows her insecurity, but this is where Facebook and Blogs cause drama, and why I personally don't love them.
Listen you are either friends or you are not. If you don't have openess and honestly do you really want to be their friend? It sounds like you really don't care that much.
Otherwise, I would text back that you are not mad and continue the friendship the same as always. No need to tell her you are not best friends as that is really rude. She'll figure it out eventually and if not who cares, so long as you don't keep getting needy texts from her.
And unless you are the type of person who thinks you should be able to say whatever you want on your blog etc, you might think how people might react when you post things. Personally I avoid drama, so I hardly post anything- but some people love expressing themselves and it is worth it to them to be able to say what they want.
Please don't take this harshly- just a generalization.
I did reply that I was not mad at her and left it at that. Last night I received another text from her asking "at what level of friendship" did I consider her. So I told her the truth, that she was my closest friend other than my husband and family - Thankfully she liked that answer. It's not really saying much though as I have a very very small circle of friends she doesn't have much competition for anyone being closer to me.
But since someone asked why I would care about the friendship at all if we couldn't be open and honest, I'll tell you that I have been okay with this friendship slowly slipping away. In fact I've felt that we were once very very close but this friendship has run it's course. However she's obviously a bit of a needy person as well as bi-polar and her husband just left for the military. I'm not excited about the possibility of a drawn out disconnect.