Married Life
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Independence
Hey Ladies,
How did you find independence from your spouse? I have had troubles remaining independent since I got married a year ago.
How did you manage it?
Re: Independence
I made sure to keep involved with activities and hobbies and friendsthat I enjoyed before I got married- I take a 3-hour painting class once a week and have a running group with my girlfriends that meets 1-2 times a week.
That's actually one of my biggest pet peeves...people who write back and forth on each other's FB when you LIVE TOGETHER. FFS, if you want to tell them you love them, walk your ass into the other room and tell them. When I see couples who constantly post, it makes me think they are insecure in their relationship and need to advertise to their 'friends' how happy they are to hide the fact that that's probably the only thing they've got left.
Ahhh I totally agree. It drives me nuts! You live together, tell the person to their face. No one really cares lol.
I find this post sorta scarey! You cant be your own person and be married?
DH and I have separate interests and activities. If we were together 24/7 I dont thin our marriage would be as happy. We wouldnt have anything to tell each other because we would already know what they did, who they saw, etc...!!
We have a saying : we make each other happy BUT we dont depend on the other for our happiness.
We were in a long distance relationship before getting married since I went away for school, so we were used to being independent. He has guys night every week and since my friends are all from out of state I will make the trip maybe once a month to visit friends over a weekend or I invite them to visit us.
Start by planning separate activities at the same time first so neither of you feel like you are sitting home bored or missing out. Ie - while he golfs with the guys you go shopping with the girls.
YES. I know a couple who does this. Well, the wife does. She writes on his FB every single day, sometimes more than once a day. I think she has jealousy issues. She was always one of those girls who wanted everyone to be in love with her even though she was married. She also cheated on him before the wedding, so maybe she's trying to make up for it? I don't know. I ended up defriending both of them because her posts were so annoying!
My hubby and I have always been joined at the hip. We've worked together in the past and so spend pretty much 24/7 together and loved it. It's something a lot of people don't get, but it's not because we "have" to be together, we just are so sympatico it works out that way. We also have allllll the same friends, so it's not often we go out without each other.
We are trying to do things seperately a little more, just to keep things fresh. I encourage him to go out with his guy buddies alone. I'm always invited, but it's good for him to have a night just with the guys. When he suggests going camping (and I'm not as into it as he is) I encourage him to take his dad along instead. I'm getting into more activities that I like that he's not as into, like a community garden and zumba classes.
I say, exploit the things that one of you are into more than the other for some time apart.