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Serious question
Do any of you come from a background where one of your parents left the other for someone else? What was the situation? How do you feel about "the other person"?
My parents have been married for 27 years and my dad is planning to leave my mom, move to Texas, and be with someone he met on Facebook. This woman recently divorced her husband and she has two pre-teen children. My dad told me his early plans back in like March and he told me it was because of H & I that he feels he can do this, that he deserves to be happy. My parents haven't been happily married, I don't think, ever. I just HATE this situation. He wants us to "accept" her and allow him to be around for our children. We live in OHIO!!! H's family lives in Oregon. I will not be dropping everything to visit my dad because of this.
Thoughts? Advise? Make me feel better, por favor 
Re: Serious question
Thats a hard situation, especially for you. Being that its family, I would try to do my best to not take sides, and to be supportive of both parents in this time..including accepting this new woman in his life. You don't have to go out of your way to like her, or to go visit, but in the long run its not her fault your dad was unhappy in his marraige, so don't take any bitterness out on her. At the same time, if you want your dad to be a part of your life, your kids lives...perhaps he will make the effort to visit you, I don't think its your responsibility to pick up and travel to see him if you don't want to, and he is the one that is walking away from the family.
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I'm sorry, but what? Your dad absolutely deserves to be happy, everyone does. However, picking up and moving to Texas to be with someone he met on FB (of all places) is just a whole different ball game. What if it doesn't work out? What if he can't get a job? What if her kids hate him?
I agree with you, I would not drop everything in the future so he can be there for your kids. What about being there for HIS kids? If his future grandchildren are the only thing keeping him for doing this, I'd seriously have to consider what kind of relationship I could have with him in the future. I would really encourage him to take this slowly. If he wants a divorce, so be it. Get settled in his own place, visit Texas a bunch of times, and THEN think about moving to Texas.
And this is coming from the person who's father married a woman that's only 5 years older than me.
I agree with PP. Though he probably didn't go about it the right way... ie. maybe should have left and then found a new partner. I wouldn't hold that against the new woman.
If you don't live near each other visiting would be difficult. If you wanna take a vacation to go see them every once in a while, or once a year, fine, but highways and airplanes travel in two directions. They can come visit you too.
Was he a good dad to you? Even our parents make bad decisions, or ones we don't agree with.. they're only human.. but try not to let this wreck your relationship with him. It might change it...but change isn't always bad...
I have not, personally. My parents are still married, have been for 33(?) years.
That being said, I think it would be really difficult to adjust to your parents being divorced after 27 years. I think it would be really REALLY difficult to adjust to seeing either one of them with someone new.
I also think part of it depends on your parents' marriage as it is now. I remember that my parents went through some "tough times" so to speak. A lot of fighting, came close to divorcing a couple times, marriage counseling, the whole 9 yards. At time I remember wishing they'd just get a divorce and be done with it because it was so miserable living with them. But they stuck it out, eventually things got better, and their relationship has been good for many years now. Do you feel like your parents are still in that "bad" stage and just never got out of it? I guess in that case I would be more open to the idea of them divorcing if I thought their relationship was not salvageable & very unhealthy.
Do you know the circumstances of how your parents met & married? Not to come off as judgmental, but as a teenager I never understood how the divorce rate could be so high - now at almost 30 years old, I see people around me getting married for stupid, stupid reasons and it doesn't surprise me when/if they get divorced. Do you think they got married for the wrong reason, or just WAY too early on and they've just been sticking it out so to speak?
As a neutral 3rd party, your dad's wanting to divorce your mom (if he is really unhappy) would probably be for the best. He is right, he does deserve to be happy. However, leaving one person for another usually doesn't end up working out too well. Leaving one person for a someone he met on FB who lives half a country away seems like an AWFUL idea! Has he met this woman before in person?
Even looking at it rationally, I would NOT be happy if my dad were doing this to my mom. Even if he was single, I'd still be facepalming his decision to leave everything he knows for a woman he hardly knows!
My advice would be to do nothing in the meantime. 1) Nothing has actually happened yet, 2) You guys don't even have kids, and 3) even if he does go through with this genius plan there is a good chance you won't have to ever worry about it lasting.
If on the off chance things do work out with your dad and his facebook mistress...you have a lot of time to decide the boundaries you want to set with him. I'd be honest with him and tell him that it is definitely going to take some time for this to sink in and for you guys to accept it. I think these things have a way of working themselves out (for better or for worse). I might gently & nonjudgementally question his decisions to his face: "Dad, I understand you are unhappy and no longer want to stay with mom....but do you really think diving headfirst into a relationship with (FB Mistress) right after the divorce is really a good idea?"
Anyways, good luck...hope everything works our for the best. Is your poor mother going to be okay with a divorce?
My dad has been an OK dad. He wasn't really there emotionally like my mom was but we never noticed it because of my mom. She was always there for us. A Mom/Dad figure.
My parents met & married under normal circumstances. They were 21 and 24 respectively. They almost divorced when I was 11 but they stuck it out because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I don't remember my parents ever being "in love" or happy. Certainly never like H & I. I think it has basically been 27 bad years with semi-OK spurts.
I agree that a divorce would be better. Not in these circumstances. FB mistress, "K", divorced her husband earlier this year. I don't know if it was to be with my dd, they have known each other on FB for almost 3 years, or if it was just over for her. She also told my mom that all their problems were my mom's fault, I can tell you first hand that this isn't the case.
He has never met her in person, just FB. I believe things long distance can work. Several of us, H and I included, have proven this fact. This is the WRONG way to do it.
My mom would be perfectly happy without him and she would mostly get by. It would be a struggle but she is strong and my brother, H and I are with her for whatever she needs.
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My parents divorced when I was 8 and there were a lot of complicating factors, one of them infidelity on my dad's part. H's parents divorced several years ago after being married for 37 years. Honestly, all parties are currently much happier than they were when they were married to each other. I really think that cheating is usually a symptom of a much broader issue, and you've said that your parents haven't been happy for sometime. Divorce isn't always a bad thing, and hopefully your mom can find greater happiness too.
Honestly, I'd be very angry with your dad for the way that he chose to go about this. It sounds like he is running away- it is absolutely absurd to move half way across the county for somoeone you've never met. But, in the end, it is his life and he does deserve happiness. I just really question if this will bring it to him.
I would be honest with him about how you are feeling. Take your time and be sure to lean on hubby right now. I'm sure you'll experience a lot of feelings about this in the coming months and years. Sorry you are going through this.